Argh~~ Stupid Phone Bastard me Siaaa~
K.O at this Time.. =.= .. Freaking annoying
I swear I'll change back to the OLD nokia Phones man!!

I Mean Comeon!!! They're so Durable.. Resistance to Da Max!
Cannot Spoil One!!! Then stupid Sony EricSson, Phone spoil so easily -.-

Bloody hell siaa.. So WEAK.. SO WEAK!!! Like WEAKSTER!!!!
Now I cant sleep and its in the middle of the night.. Nice one uh!!!
4:43am As im typing this.. gees~

Later still must go sch at 7am..
well.. perhaps i'll jux live off without a phone for one day!
atmost emo one person niaa.. no one can contact me.. i cant contact no one..
meow. Personal time wif me and myself -.-
ok so damn argh...

Loneliness shouldnt bother me till tat day when i felt so helpless.
Hurt and all alone.. Worst kinda Feel ever.
The Fear.. The Loneliness.. The Sadness..
arrrr....

Worst off im outside at tat time.
Cant make out my thoughts. am i blaming some1? or am i blaming myself?
who caused me to be in this state? why am i crying?
Why does it happen? Why Wont they understand?
I tried to find ppl to talk to. but to no avail..
msgs sent were not replied. and i grew to feel worst..

Here i was Thinking.. i shldnt be troubling my bros.
but i couldnt help it. i need to talk to some1
or i'll die..
lucky he was thr to reply me.
though it was random.. cause i dun usually msg him to talk bout things.
Before i texted him.. i was at the food court.. wif my parents.
But i cant bring myself to face them.
I feel so ashamed.. so angry..
thoughts was Flying past my head when i was eating..
and no one would believe. but i finished 3 whole plates of food in like 15mins?

So i finished.. and thr we're sitting next to each other.
I cant talk.. i felt dumb.
mom went to ntuc to buy stuff.. dad was sitting wif my grandparents.
i feel out of place.. awkward.. so BAD..
so i walked off to a quiet place, alone, wif tears forming..

i sat dwn.. in a foyer like area..
wif little ppl sitting ard.. maybe like 6 old man scattered across the circular structure.
i started texting him, my bro, as tears start to drop..
when he called.. i cant find the words to speak..
i was sobbing.. words that i speak.. was muffled by the cries.
But i managed to speak my mind out, wif freaquent pauses in between.
as i was weeping so badly.

We talked for awhile.. then my parents called. time to get back home.
i was still sobbing when i walked towards the car. but they aint there to see it.
The songs that was playing through the mp3.
Ringed in my head.. over and over again.. realising.. that it could meant so much more.
It thought me, that theres always more than just one value, meaning within a thing, price, song.. everything

well i guess i'll end it off here.. i'll catch a quick nap before 630.

ciaoz

Alriteetyyyy thhennnn~~!!!! wwahahhaa

Sry Fokes For Not updating the bloggg..
Its Nthing but a Too Damn Busy With Everything Guy here
hahas!
Oh yea.. sry for the not updated links~ haven relinked or linked anyone for dunno how long XD
But yea.. Will do tat soon.

So comming back here.. wats my purpose? eh... dunno~~~
haha!!! Revival Of Blog..
Nahh not really.. jux blogging for fun..
dun really know wat to type anw so jux spam it wif words =p

ALrite.. will be back for some post maybe at the end of this week. ciaoz

Alrite lah~~~!!!

Now Is 3:25am... and im sitting infront of my com typing this entry..

wierd enough... i dun even know y i wanna type this but... heh..

so.. jux ended gaming... had some issues up... ahh~~ usual stuff whr ppl gets pissed and irritated cause they 'died' in the game or smthing..

in the case whr complementing on each others flaws is almost impossible..

eEeeEmooOoo...

Anw... atleast things didnt end up anw bad... atleast my K/D didnt drop XD

In other way... my PSR dropped which is wat we wanted anw.. hahas

hmmm.. things haf passed soo long since then... i can barely remember much...

well.. actually not remembering them would be much of Peace and Happiness..

Y brood over the past times when the present could be so much better ...

Nomatter how bad it was back then.. it's all over.. and we know for a fact tat nothing from the past could be changed...

soo.. getting back... i looked at my past posts... and i smiled at them..

finding them abit silly haha...

but somehow still meaningful and reveals the moment of thoughts at that particular time...

it was such a long way back then... well the last post before the previous one...

About me not being able to pass even a sing Oni song on the taiko machine.. hahaha

Now i can pass so much more...

and indeed time have let me learn and get better and better...

i use to complain that i can never get better even if a hundred years haf passed XD...

but well.. this definately proves me wrong .. =D..

with a bit of patience and hardwork and effort... one can get better at almost anything.

interesting isnt it ... how time works its way ard for ya.. hahaha

then further back to the emo posts... all about the darkness of life... Death...

well.. apparently.. surviving through the darkest days can make one so much stronger..

choice given to the person.. whether he/she wans the easy way or hard way out...

where 'easy way' stands for ... End of everything... ending up wif bad consequences...

or the 'hard way' which means... Work through it.. give it everything u've got and never give up even until the end... ending up wif a good thing atleast... for most of the time XD..

Goin on to relationships stuff.. well.. not getting anywhr.. still the same old man from the block.. haha!

perhaps im not ready yet for a relationship tats y i haven have the courage to speak out...

though thr were many opportunities given...

i never once had the confidence and courage to approach and open my mouth =/

sad uh~ hahaha

well tat makes me an AVALIABLE MAN!!! XD...

Not selling myself here Duh~~~

Jux wondering how is the old fren doing.. haven spoken to her for a long time...

Should be having exams now alrdy...

and another... which went MiA... since the last few weeks we've msged XD... ok isit jux a week ago? ... hmm..

Well .. haven had any smses from her seems like months and weeks though its jux days..

emo uh~ hahahaha..

Well.. my eyes are closing alrdy ... guess i'd stop here..

Last Words before i sleep...

Goodluck JON!!!! FIrst Day Of WORK!!! Dun Anyhow *ahem* Xmm LOL!..

And GoodLuck To Those Having Exams!!!

Flying off to hainan Tmr alrdy~ Hope This trip will be worth the while...

Nites Dudes!

+God-Bless+

Dunno whens the last time since i came here to blog.. well..
atleast im not dead yet tats one thing =]

Hmm~ haven have much feeling these days
much in confusion.. but seems like things are getting abit wierd..

Most of the days.. Good way of saying.. I feel calm...
Bad way of saying.. i feel numb.. cause i dun feel anythin else..

im a way.. i kinda like it this way.. i can see things better..
Things tat used to look fast to me .. now seems to be slower..

and i feel happier.. lighter..
I see things differently.. and i feel .. different feelings growing..

unexpected.. i would say.. i am changing slowly..

and of course.. fun in a way.. which is.. Frenzxc!!!
Time spend wif frens is fun! =D

Taiko.. is fun too!! i've been playing tat for awhile -.- ... and i still cant pass the oni songs Arghhh~~ hahaha..

During these past weeks.. I've grown to learn more about life.. my frens.. and me..
i understood a part of me and well.. thrs still a hidden part which is yet to be unravelled.

Bball!!! Hey dudes! lets play bball moree.. we needa train Man!! hahaha..

More running sessions and gyming!!! we need da strenght and stamina! =D

ok short post for now.. update more soon ^^

GOd Bless!

Today.. time passed as usual.. went to sch, met up wif david and wyman to do our counseling psycho project...

we went around finding the so called 'perfect' spot so we can do our video.. but apparently.. the sch is... crappy.. XD.. ok .. jux tat the facility aint there.. so we decided to go to wyman's house to do the project..

Rched his house... he found out that he nv bring his key -.- .. so we walked the 'back door' haha.. i was like uh.. omg.. u can jux enter like tat 0.0? ... nvm..

then went to his room... shifted his bed.. then brought in a few piece of furniture to set up for our video.. i was trying to tune myself to the emo mode.. quite hard wif ppl ard.. cause.. i cant really become like... emo when thrs ppl ard.. its like auto that i wanna make the place fun and interesting..

so yea.. finally felt the mood and we started to take the recording...

we talked and talked.. i was the one getting counseled.. so .. yea.. XD... EMO!!!!

our video recording was suppose to be like ard 10mins.. but it seems like we talked too much .. =p.. we ended up wif a total of 16mins+... so .. gotta crop it ..

after that.. we went home.. took bus wif david.. talked for awhile.. finally.. get to know him alittle.. he aint tat cold.. LOL!... Dun kill me XD hahaha..

Jux the impression he gave me when we first met lah... cause he like damn serious and stuffs... then i dun dare talk to him =.=.... LOL!...

OK so.. went home... took 89 from dte.. ( I NEVER GO PLAY TAIKO!!!! OMG!!!!)

rched home.. wanted to go for a run.. but.. haven had dinner.. so cant run without energy -.- .. parents rched home at ard 9pm+ cannot run lo~~~ so late liao.. yea.. so ate and started to try to do my maya again..

SAME RESULT... FARKING SCREW UP!!!!! Im so screwed lah pls.. i dunno how ima survive next week.. i think ima fail this sem lo~~ farked up sia...

yea.. so felt quite upset... kept on thinking wat can i do.. MY HEAD's Gonna blow soon ><...

i Cant Do No Freaking Programming... I cant freaking make my maya stuff... WAT THE FUCK CAN I FREAKING DO! !!!!!! ... :'[

my sprites.. i haven even settled my program u wan me to freaking do my sprites??? WTF SIA...

FARK this lah~~~ im so Freaking screwed ... Cant wait to put a knife rite through my head.. or even pull the trigger of a gun and blast my heart out... WAts the use of slicing the wrist when it hurts so much and watches ur hand bleed... It jux makes you more freaking miserable..

Freaking jux end it wif one shot lah~~~ I really cant Withstand the pressure anymore lo...

Every nite.. something will come to my mind.. i haf ideas to make things perfect.. BUT I JUX CANT FREAKING DO IT CAUSE SOMETHING ALWAYS SCREW UP!... Im giving up on my life soon...

Its jux a few nites back.. I closed my eyes.. I wondered can i end everything if i jux died? ... I even thought of writing a freaking will to pass all my stuffs to charity and frens.. I thought of.. the peace tat will be given to me.. I will Have no more pressure .. NO MORE FREAKING WORK TO PULL ME DOWN.. NO MORE FREAKING WORK TAT I HAF NO LIKING IN DOING!...

Then Comes the thought.. How will i go.. Get killed in a car accident? .. Jump off a building? Stab myself? run straight to the wall and hit my head so hard that it breaks instantly? ... I figured no one would cared anyway... I might as well jux die off somewhr wif no one.. I alrdy pictured no one comming for my funeral..

my hands are shaking... but my eyes are wide open.. it seems like ... its wat ima do soon? .. ima not waste time jux sitting here and rot.. ima spend the best of my time left wif people tat can make me happy.. Work? ... Shit it.. I cant do no work..

Love? I aint got no love.. For fark sake.. Is thr even love... Most of it.. jux expressions of care and concern.. other than tat.. hatred... jealousy.. saddness.. vengence...

I dont know how long i can stay like this before i lose it.. Ima jux end it sooner or later.. sometimes.. i even wished tat i could die running.. from heart attack or smthing.. lung bleeds... stomach burst and cause massive internal bleeding till i drop dead..

Or i would die from a bite of a poisonous animal.. which would end in awhile.. nothing matters... i haf passed on...

If one day i stopped goin to sch... and i never even go online forever.. Im gone i presume.. or i've left to some island alone... I jux hoped tat... if things are gonna end for me...

The entries in this blog.. Someone will print it out and file it in some place.. even make it into a story.. or even make songs outta them..

I aint able to fulfill the things i've promised to some people.. im deeply sorry.. if we're able to meet in the next life.. I'll be sure to fulfill them ... Even at the cost of my life..

I've told ya people.. tat i will never break promises... I've failed some.... I've brokern some.. and its left a mark within tat i'll never forget..

I think it'll be weeks before anyone will come and read.. if by that time im gone.. Check around my house... I might haf left a will somewhr hidden between..

I have never planned to fail.. but this time.. it seems inevitable.. I cant take the blow.. I might fall into great depression.. or im alrdy in one..

It seems like the 2 sides of me switches almost instantly.. once ppl are gone .. the other one will come out to haunt me..

I could type more.. but i think .. i might leave it to some other time.. perhaps .. the last? .. well.. Life have its way for me.. Forced to the edge..

My legs might frost when crossing a busy traffic.. or my heart might fail in a critical situation..

Things will be revealed.. once again.. soon...

God Bless~

Boinks~~~~ hahahaa

Today is a Great Day!!!! I Caught A CAPPY(KAPI) Using Only $1!!!!! RAWR!!!! LOL!!!

hahahaha my luckies DAY EVER!!!!!

seriously~ i didnt even expect tat to happen XD

Its a damn SurPRise!! =DDDDDD

when i press the BIG RED BUTTON, i was like.. hmm.. ima jux do it for fun since ricky is trying to catch his totoro clock... then i was like aiming for the '+3' so in case i miss.. i got 3 extra chances to try out for free...

i dunno how.. it ended up on the chance... and i was like.. hmmm.. wats tat about...

MIRACLE!!!! the Claws GRAPPED THE KAPI ALL THE WAY TO THE HOLE!! ! ! ! !LOL!...

Zuyi, Ricky, me and pokute was like OMG!!! WTF!!!! U CAUGHT IT!!! LOL!..

I was like Jumping around when it dropped down the hole XD... then ricky grapped my kapi and ran out~~~ sayin i suxs LOL!....

Thks Ricky!!! CAUSE U NEVER BUY LEMON TEA TATS Y U NO LUCK!!! RAWR!!!! XD

then i said... i caught it using 1 buck~~~ They went like 0.0.... GG... Bobo is Lucky.. .LOL!..

Luck is my skill MUAHAHAHHAHAHHA

i carried it, hugging it all the way from marina square back to expo the IT Fair~~

Ricky bought a moninter to look at his *Vids* and a Diamondback 3G wif Goliaths Mouse pad... Zuzu bought another Diamondback also.. but wif ExMat and I got My DeathAdder wif ExMat XD...oh got my Sonic Gear Ear Phones Too.. XD Not forgetting My Dear Cappi ~~~ =D WAHAHHAHAHAHHA

Ok then.. hmm.. jux came back from a running routine... every week does this atleast once..

quite fun actually.. but tiring .. i cant seem to run any faster .. -.-...

gotta run MOARE!!!! MEOW!!!!

Emo stuffs... Hmm.. cant seem to beable to come up wif one now ~ XD.. hahhaa

to busy hugging and squishing my cute cute cappy!! lol... GG...

my cats are getting jealous ><...

haha alrites.. short post..

Goodluck haf fun!