Kraven Mountain Of The North

2010-07-02T01:22:00.003+08:00

Just Saw Some1 Call me update lah...
But arh... i dunno wat to update...
Now so busy with mp~ sian sia...
How <3..? =[
Nvm.. i'll plan as much time as possible to spend with everyone and u accordingly..
Hope u understand.. =]
Loves...

2010-02-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Its Dead!!!
ALL DEAD!!!!

Im Goin mad!!!

2010-02-12T23:42:00.002+08:00

Life seems to be so screwed.
Yet im so Calm in facing Pain.
NO one will ever know what i've went through.
Its all nonsense.
LIfe is Filled wif nonsense.
Nthing But inflict more injuries Both physical and mental.
Why cant life be more smooth sailing.
I wonder if this is wat im destined for..
Stupid Kids Are pissing me off,
and im REally surprised i didnt lose my cool.
If u wanna know how it feels like to be me..
welcome to my life.

IM Sorry i am not perfect.
Cause I can never Be perfect.
Sad truth. Perhaps..
IM the only defect among the Perfects.
Thats y im always Failing.
And it hurts to know.
i just wan u to knowtice me,
that im here,
alive,
Waiting for u to accept me.
Though its jux a Thought.
Nothing will last forever.
Im sorry i cant be perfect.

2010-02-12T01:42:00.003+08:00

OMg..i cant Help..I MUST POST THIS SONG!!!
So nice.. So Strenghtening!!!
Though some of ya Youngsters Might not know this song.
But its Really nice.
And.. Its true i guess.
Time to let go..of the past..
Freedom is Part of our lives.
No one can hold on to u.
So i shall be Rid of this Mess
and start anew =']
Great Thks To Ah-Mei For this Great song~
A really Good Singer.
<3~

2010-02-12T00:53:00.003+08:00

Theres Only One Person That Makes me feel Real..
ANd thats you.
FOr You are the one that brings me strenght.
U lets me bring out the Best in mE =]
I thank u For everything u've done.

Though its been So long..
But i Still cant forget the story,
ONce so beautiful,
so full of emotions.
I refuse to believe,
There's a gap so wide,
that Divides us from being a pair.
But seems like its all turned to an end.
Love Story, Of Brokern Heart.

2010-02-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

Often, We tend to neglect The ones we love.
Until one day, he or she decided to leave.
Too late is it to regret,
that u should have cherished him or her more.
But the past cant be Changed.
Everyday, you could only wish,
that she/he is still here wif u.
Holding on to ur hands,
Whispering to ur ear..
*Dun worry, I'm always by ur side*
But its all jux a dream,
Now its all gone.
Pain is all remain.
Though u still love her/him.
But they'll never love u the same way again.
:'[

Love Hurts,
When The Decision Is hard to make.
When ur mind is in a whirlwind.
Or when u dont know if he/she loves u the same way u do.
Things gets complicated,
the one to get hurt most,
is you, yourself.
=[

2010-02-09T00:26:00.002+08:00

Actually i was thinking of another song.. But i cant seem to remember it..
so i decided to post this song instead...

爱一个人，
不一定要和她在一起。
只要知道，
她开心，
我就心满意足了。
虽然，
对我是一种折磨，
但，为了她，
什么我都能忍。
偶尔会想起她，
但只会让我跟伤心。
应为，牵着她的手的人，
不是我。

突然好想你，
但你会想我吗？
我知道，
着一切，
都是我自己的幻觉，
但，
心里，
我知道，
我是真的真的，
爱你的。

Cant wait to get a Msg From you,
Cant wait to See u again.
But will it be possible?

-Love Could Be A Magnificient Match-Maker, Or a harbinger of Woe. Thou Choice Is Not Question For Beings, That Destiny Have Been Placed. Only They Wif Lust And Hunger, Feels The Tremors Of Regret.-

2010-02-07T23:42:00.002+08:00

Came Across this song In youtube..
Really Touched me.. Cause it jux wat im feeling..
It was all but a coincidence.
Maybe god wans me to know..
that he knows how im feeling ='[

Heres the Translation For the Song.

First Verse:
kore ijyou nani wo ushinaeba kokoro wa yurusareru no
dore hodo no itaminaraba mou ichido kimi ni aeru
One more time kisetsuyo utsurowanaide
One more time fuzakeatta jikan yo
First Verse *English*:
If I lose any more than this, will my heart be forgiven
How much pain before I can see you again
One more time, please don't change the season
One more time to the time when we fool around

2nd Verse:
kuichigau toki wa itsumo boku ga saki ni oretane
wagamama na seikaku ga naosara itoshikusaseta
One more chance kioku ni ashi wo torarete
One more chance tsugi no basho wo erabenai
2nd Verse *English*:
When our path cross each other, I am always the first to turn
Making me indulge more in my selfish way
One more chance tripped by memories
One more chance we cannot choose our next place

First Chorus:
itsudemo sagashiteiruyo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
mukai no HOOMU rojiura no mado
konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai noni
negai wa moshimo kanau nara imasugu kimi no moto e
dekinai koto wa mou nani mo nai
subete kakete dakishimete miseru yo
First Chorus *English*:
I am always searching somewhere for you
Opposite of the house, the other side of the alley's window
Even though I know you won't be here
If my wish is to be granted, please bring me to you right now
Betting and embracing everything
To show you there's nothing else I can do

3rd Verse:
sabishisa magirasu dake nara dare demo ii hazu na noni
hoshi ga ochisouna yoru dakara jibun wo itsuwarenai
One more time kisetsu yo utsurowanaide
One more time fuzakeatta jikan yo
3rd Verse *English*:
Anybody should be fine if it was just to ease loneliness
Because the stars in the night sky seems like falling, I cant lie to myself
One more time, please dont' change the season
One more time to the time when we fool around

Chorus:
itsudemo sagashiteiruyo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
kousaten demo yume no naka demo
konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai noni
kiseki ga moshimo okoru nara ima sugu kimi ni misetai
atarashii asa kore kara no boku
ienakatta "suki" to iu kotoba mo
Chorus *English*:
I am always searching somewhere for you
Even at the intersection and dream
Even though I know you won't be here
If miracle was to happen, I want to show it to you right now
A new morning, myself
and the "I love you" which I couldn't say

Bridge:
natsu no omoide ga mawaru
fui ni kieta kodou
Bridge *English*:
Summer's memory is revolving
The sudden disappearance of heart beat

Chorus:
itsudemo sagashiteiruyo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
akegata no machi sakuragi chou de
konna toko ni kuru hazu mo nai noni
negai ga moshimo kanau nara imasugu kimi no moto e
dekinai koto wa mou nani mo nai
subete kakete dakishimete miseru yo
Chorus *English*
I am always searching somewhere for you
At dawn's town, At Sakuragi street
Even though I know you won't come here
If my wish is to be granted, please bring me to you right now
Betting and embracing everything
To show you there's nothing else I can do

Chorus:
itsudemo sagashiteiruyo dokka ni kimi no kakera wo
tabisaki no mise shinbun no sumi
konna toko ni aru hazu mo nai noni
kiseki ga moshimo okoru nara ima sugu kimi ni misetai
atarashii asa kore kara no boku
ienakatta "suki" to iu kotoba mo
Chorus *English*:
I am always searching somewhere for your fragment
At the destination's shop, At the corner of the newspaper
Even though I know you won't be there
If miracle was to happen, I want to show it to you right now
A new morning, myself
And the "I love you" which I couldn't say

Last Chorus:
itsudemo sagashiteshimau dokka ni kimi no egao wo
kyuukou machi no fumikiri atari
konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai noni
inochi ga kurikaesu naraba nandomo kimi no moto e
hoshii mono nado mou nani mo nai
kimi no hoka ni taisetsu na mono nado
Last Chorus *English*:
I always end up looking somewhere for your smile
At the railway crossing of the fast pace town
Even though I know you won't be here
If life can be repeated, I'll go to you many times over
There's nothing else that I want
Nothing else is more important than you

2010-02-07T22:46:00.002+08:00

Wonders Y it is so hard to breath.
Such Cruelty to ones mind,
Such Sadness, Pitiful...
Shame on myself for being such a Loser.
For the ending, Never turns to be Happy.
Such for others, their happiness never ends.
Cause I've selfishly sacrificed Mine for theirs.
Never will they know,
Never will she know.
For it all ends in a happy ending.
Misery survives only in the weak.
Perhaps the giving.
Or sacrificial.

This is all hurt could say,
Bringing me to the ends.
Couldnt bear to look anymore,
I chose to leave.
Hurts more to see,
But most to know,
That She'll never love u,
The way u wan it.
Every Word said,
is like salt on open wounds.
No matter how sweet it is,
It all taste Bitter and sour.

In the End,
NOthing matters,
cause Its not important at all.
I meant nothing.
I am Nothing.
All i did was for nothing.
How foolish for me to think,
that i'll haf a place in the heart.
Now i know,
No matter how hard i try.
No one I Love will ever fall for me.
So Deemed a Solitary life.
Maybe this all could go away,
wif the hurt and regret.
Find solace In such tragic Ends,
Would only be the santuary of Loneliness.

2010-02-02T22:27:00.002+08:00

PAPERCUT!!!!! LINKIN PARK FOREVER!!!! <3

This is wat keeps the Day Rolling wif Energy!

Crawling! LP! Rock On!!!

2010-01-30T01:18:00.001+08:00

Alrite.. Heres the song.. 爱我还是他 - 陶吉吉

<3 this song so much.
Have been my fav song for a long time ^^..
Hope u peeps love it.
Cheers.

2010-01-30T00:55:00.002+08:00

Ok! Finally a new Blog Skin After like Years!!! lOL!... ok maybe 1year + nearly 2.. anw.. Really like it though.. Darkness prevailes!!

I shall post another song up later.. Have been ringing in my head For a long time. XD

Alrite Ciaoz.

2010-01-29T11:59:00.004+08:00

品冠 - 我以为

This song. Reminds me much of myself. A song use to console myself. Love is hard, especially when the person u love alrdy chose to be with someone else. A song for all the people that felt heartbrokern because of love.

Part 1:
你总说不想有天让我知道,你对他,有那么好

你说会懂,我的失落,不是靠宽容,就能够解脱.

我以为我出现的时候刚好,你和他,就说要分开.

我以为你,已对他不再期待,不纵容他再给你伤害

Chorus:
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙

我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口

全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错

也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生.

Part 2:
我以为终究你会慢慢明白,他的心已不在你身

我的关心,你依然无动于衷我的以为只是我以为.

Chorus:
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙

我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口

全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错

也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生

他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅

原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁

我以为我够坚强,却一天天的失望

少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望

End Chorus:
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙

我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口

全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错

也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生

他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅

原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁

我以为我够坚强却输的那么绝望

少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望

2010-01-29T01:15:00.003+08:00

01:15am 29th January 2010
Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

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Log 5:
Emotion: Too Many =s

Ok.. 5th post. Since the start of year. Naise. Whatever.. ok. Wonders Y facebook so fail, its like so laggy all of a sudden for no reason. Annoying. I Wonder if its some stupid prob wif singtel internet. God iTs Freaking SLOW.

Ah well, Not gonna talk about RIDICULOUS things today. Not gonna dampen my mood over it. So im gonna talk about some happy things that happen to me instead. Alrite i know its gonna be another boring story... Oh wait! heee.

I WAS LATE FOR SCH THIS Noon! lol!.. Lesson suppose to start at 12pm... and guess wat. I woke up at 10:30am!!!!! and fell back into slumber for the next hour wahahaha!. so yea. i woke up OFFICIALLY at 11:30am =.= WIN!!!!

Wanted to call some1 to back me up and tell the teacher i had a bad stomuchache and was in the toilet.. While im still waiting for the bus to come .. lol!. so i could escape being marked late. but.. i guess i shouldn't lie, For its my fault tat i go late. so yea.. i didnt called.

ALRITE... Reach Sch at 12:30pm! YES IM late.. And i decided to NOT go to class. In other words.. PON CLASS!!! LOL!.. Partly i blame JON cause he was at the concourse playin monster hunter.. *tempted* hee. so yea i sat down wif them and started surfing the net and watch vids.

aft bout 30mins .. Jussi came and i was LIKE.. YES JUX IN TIME JUSSI!!!! Come Lets HON!!!! ROFL~ He agreed, >=D and we started the application. Apparently, both of us haven been into HON for like ... Weeks? or months .. haha. and the update was like =.= ..

Anw, aft the update, we started playing. AND WOW. Its like THE BEST THING TO START THE DAY OFF WIF!!!! hahaha! Such a fun time Trashing a bunch of nubs. XD of im abit of evil but, comeon.. we're not ur average players hee.

Not long aft, Class Starts.. AIGD.. OOO damn its kinda stress. hee. cause i got no idea how to do programming =.=... but .. i jux stayed through, walking ard, playing facebook apps.. talking.. hee..

Everyone was having fun, Nonsense everywhr.. LoL... but still doing work atleast Wahahaha XD hey 1% of work still considered progress!!! Rite.. =p

Lesson ends... Then went wif sebby to eat dinner.. ok tats jux me. cause sebby didnt eat D; he's got dinner at home.. haix.. emo dinner LOL!... aft dinner.. HOME!!!!

First thing, HON!!! Then DOTA!!!! Hon wasnt tat bad.. though we conceded the first match, cause of some Trash pubs =.= .. but the 2nd game was WEEEEE!!!! Freaking Owning =D hahahas! Then Dota! Woot.. ever since Playin back dota. i Haven Lost a match. LOLOLOL! Thks To Our FREAKING AWESOME TeamWork!

<3 ya guys! heee.. oh yea.. Got some tips off Mr mike today when i went to buy ice-cream wif ivan at itas hahas. Nah not tips for work, But Photography =D Damn he's got some cool new lens T_T.. i wan one too.. LOL!.. But i had a nice chat wif him. such a nice guy, Simply an Awesome Teacher! =D cheers mate!

hmm~ other than tat.. ehs.. i guess tats it? .. yea.. as promised im not gonna talk bout emo stuff today.. so yea. Haf fun yo!

Everyday's a new day, And we should start afresh ^^

*Beep*

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---Love Comes In Many Different Forms, That Everyone holds Dear to them. But theres always one that they cherish more. Which one is it, for you?---
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Status: Relaxed
*Shutdown*

2010-01-25T22:14:00.002+08:00

10:15pm 25th January 2010

Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

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Log 4:

Emotion: Vexed
Area: My Room

Back for the next log record session. Well, have been thinking much about things thats been happening around me this whole month. Kinda shitty if u come to think about it. Ok maybe not, cause no one can understand the pain and agony i went through, time like these are worst than hell. Perhaps only one guy, My bro, can understand.

Aside from the constant bombardments in my brain and heart. I have also come to find that no one ever thinks deeper than what the thing seems to be on the surface. People just assume that it must be what it is, just by looking at it. But what they will never know is that there's more than it meets the eye.

Things are not always as simple as it looks. I don't know why but people just like to stick to their assumptions after they've made one. Maybe its their stubborn nature? Or they just cant be bothered to look closer to what it might reveal. Truth hides from the naked eye, only the heart is able to really hear and see it.

Most only use their brains, and not their hearts. Which I would say, a grave mistake. To understand, is not simply knowing. You have to give so much more effort just to feel what it really means. A major part of the population, will tend to think, scraping through the surface is enough for me to determine the truth and the meaning behind the act, word, whatever there is.

Pitiful it is, that man have fallen to such state. Brains are useless without the guidiance of the heart. Though not all the times the heart is right, but sometimes a wrong doing may add on as an experience in your life changing you to be a better person.

I have changed much. Without a doubt, i am wearing a mask myself. hiding who i really am, not being what i really wan to be, and lying to myself that it is all ok. But i am slowly taking the mask away, i have learnt to be stronger. Through the pain and suffering that faith have brought me through, I have decided to live as me, Not another.

Fear still recides in my heart, i have never for once doubted that I am a niusance to the society. I am not able to secure my heart, i am not able to hold the ones i really love, i am not able to do so much more.

A mind is a scary thing to peek into, cause one will never know how much secrets it hides. It is so complex that one can never utilise the brain to its full potential. Dark a mind can be, harbouring the desires of lust and revenge, it can too be filled wif light, having only the thoughts to help and save.

I am not going to talk much about myself today. Cause I feel its not the time. only understanding the truth can break myself free from the chains that still withold me in the dark corners. Though it might not last, but i'll make sure that this is the happiest reject i can take.

I don't know who will read my posts, but if you do. think about who u want to be, are u really being who u are made to be? Or are you jux wearing a mask to hide from the harsh realities of life. Feel free to talk to me. I am Always around to help.

*beep*

...

Status: Sad

*Shutdown*

2010-01-25T02:15:00.000+08:00

Name: Boris Kuek Xiu Quan
October 15 1991
12:00 PM Time Zone is AWST
Singapore, SING

Rising Sign is in 05 Degrees Capricorn
You are practical and reserved but very ambitious. An achiever and a hard worker, you respect success. Older looking and very serious as a youth, things lighten up and you relax more as you mature. You have a serious view of the world as being a difficult place to be in. Very envious of those who seem to have an easier life than you have, relaxation and play do not come easily. It is important that you had abundant parental support as a child so that you do not feel lonely and isolated as an adult. Generally, you have a good, earthy sense of humor that can carry you through when times really do get tough. You are purposeful, self-willed, industrious, realistic and responsible.

Sun is in 21 Degrees Libra.
Very sociable, you enjoy being with others and definitely prefer not be alone. Warm and affectionate, you go out of your way to make others like you. You despise ugliness, for you being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. You prefer fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings wherever you are. Your refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. At times, you are very indecisive you waver and falter when forced to make a choice because you have the ability to see both sides of any question. The positive part of this is that you are very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. Your greatest challenge is to take any one- on-one encounter and make the most of it.

Moon is in 15 Degrees Capricorn.
You are serious and shy and very uncomfortable in those situations where spontaneous and exuberant emotional reactions seem called for. An achiever, you prefer doing practical, worthwhile things that produce tangible results. You need role models to respect, love and emulate. You tend to feel that you're a failure unless you get an important and highly respected position in life. Don't be so hard on yourself! For you, practical needs always win out over emotional considerations. Remember that you too have the right to comfort, security and love. Dutiful and patient, when you make an emotional commitment, you sign on for the long haul -- your love is long- enduring.

Mercury is in 29 Degrees Libra.
You are known for not jumping to conclusions about things. You tend to weigh all possible choices very carefully before making a decision. When in the slightest amount of doubt, you will compromise rather than ruffle any feathers. You are a true raconteur of culture and taste -- your ideas and opinions are neat, elegant and refined. A born diplomat, you dislike discord so much that you will go out of your way to make others feel comfortable and at ease. You speak softly and pleasantly.

Venus is in 06 Degrees Virgo.
You express your love and affection through selfless service to people or causes. You have a tendency to underestimate yourself and doubt your self-worth. This is very demeaning and should be avoided -- learn to love yourself as well as you do others. Your standards of perfection are very high -- you are attracted to relationships based on duty and responsibility. You are supercritical of yourself and others and, at times, prefer to be alone rather than deal with any imperfections in yourself or in those with whom you might relate.

Mars is in 28 Degrees Libra.
You are very aware of the need to cooperate with others in order to further any effort. You are usually willing to compromise with others, although you can be quite competitive in a friendly way. Very fair- minded and impartial, you have the ability to sense injustice and the desire to take corrective actions to make proper compensations. You see both sides of issues and questions, but you tend to be undecided or wavering when forced to make choices that might make you vulnerable or unpopular.

Jupiter is in 06 Degrees Virgo.
You feel most expansive and at ease with yourself when you are doing something that you consider to be practical or useful. You enjoy being dutiful and carrying out responsibilities. You gladly take on the little tasks that others seem to want to avoid. At times, you carry things to extremes and feel guilty anytime you do something that you consider to be self-indulgent. While it is appropriate for you to demand little for yourself in life, try to loosen up once in a while -- go out on a fling and enjoy yourself!

Saturn is in 00 Degrees Aquarius.
Your personal sense of values is a reflection of the value structures of your peer group and of those you respect and admire. Try to be more critical in your acceptance of these values -- you tend to prejudge the abilities of those you trust and then follow what they say blindly. Basically very conservative, you prefer orderly, systematic changes and fear doing things rashly or impulsively. Ideas and philosophies must have some sort of immediately realizable, utilitarian function in order for you to pay any attention to them.

Uranus is in 10 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your peer group as well, seek out practical solutions to a changing society's attitudes to customs, traditions and authority structures. Your logical and orderly manner of dealing with these matters will result in permanent and carefully planned, but sweeping, reforms.

Neptune is in 14 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts.

Pluto is in 19 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.

N. Node is in 13 Degrees Capricorn.
You rarely get involved closely with anyone unless he or she has something specific and practical to offer you. You tend to be "all business" when it comes to dealing with others. You're usually so intently focused on a particular goal that you rarely have time for social niceties or casual fellowship. But you can definitely be counted on by others to get things done. When you say that you'll do something, you do it. As such, you're a valuable member of any team situation and will probably rise to a position of leadership within the group. Your trustworthiness and sense of responsibility are unquestioned. But do try to avoid the temptation to "use" others to reach your goals -- they might come to resent you.

2010-01-24T00:44:00.006+08:00

12:45am.. 24th January 2010

Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

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Log 2:

Position: Home

Sector: My Room
Situation: Waiting For Parents To be Back

Hello, Im back for the 2nd log. Missed the one the other day, cause was busy wif preparations and outing. Anyway, I haven been thinking much bout anything and it felt better. I guess its a way for me to escape from my depression i guess.

Work have been well, atleast for now. I've finish one of them. Not so stressed now.

Been goin out wif my jie. ok lah.. not much of goin out.. but.. atleast i feel lighter and better when im ard her.. LOL!.. she tells me things and i tell her things. happy uh~ hahahah..

Also... Yst was Jonneh and ZhenYang BDAY!!!! hahahaha! Such a great day XD

Though we nv celebrated Jonneh's bday =.= ... partly cause he wasnt ard... but its still filled with massive Laughter and Joy! =D Joked ard.. took vids. heh~ Set a chicken Chop on fire... XD wahahahahah! Full of nonsense!!! othenial Was thr!!!! which was a surprise.. and much of a coincidence cause he's have a class bbq thr too XD

ah well.. I SAW THE ORION'S Belt Again! Omg its so beautiful ^^. How i wish i could look into the sky everynite jux to stare at the clear sky, the stars =]

By then i only drank a can of carlsberg.. abit zzz lah. cause i dun really like beer hahas~ no kick also =.= heeee =p

aft like Quite a few ppl left.. we started the drinking PARTY!!!! hahahs! its aft 12am though D; hahas.. but yea.. its still great! so long since i had a nice drink hee.. and i made a pact wif them saying that if we dun drink until we die... we cont drinking!!! XD

Yea.. and tats how i became a MERLION =.= lol!... I drank quite afew cups of Pure vodka and jin =.= ... totally.. OMG~ then like 3-4 cups of mixed one.. because of tat... i puked like 6 times? LOL!... i felt like shit aft tat.. hahs. but it felt great. cause i couldnt think of anything.. loL!..

First time i got so drunk.. u know.. most of the time.. i wouldnt even feel like puking. This time.. its the real deal. hahas. lucky i had no hangovers.. XD Bt the feel of puking still remains.. wat the!!! hahas.

Oh yea.. and not to forget.. i am one of the 3 idiots tat played soccer till our toes bled.. LOL!.. Imba uh.. hahas the ball damn hard lah .. and we aint wearing shoes also, cause we were wearing slippers!!! wahahahha! ok -.- ..

Bloody jeremy... Pour water all over my back... argh!!! heeh! make me feel so wet the whole nite XD but its fun lah~ its been so long since we have such a gathering whr we haf fun tgt. I really enjoyed it! Love ya Bros man!

Aft i 'fell' dead =.= ... loL~ ok not so.. but.. about thr.. wai leong fell dead too LOLOLOL!.. though the first merlion wasnt us.. but ZhenYang .. XD he seems to be So fine D: hahahs! U power man! i really salute u heee!!! I was the 2nd and waileong the 3rd.

IM so sry maya!!! hahas! really gotta say it. cause.. i am so seh alrdy till i cant control my body.. i was falling all over the place DX so gotta lie on smthing =x

The last place i fell dead.. was on the table.. while some were still drinkin.. Lau and some1... hahas.. i think Waileong fell dead on the table too but watever.. haha. then they said we shld go.. so i turned ard and tried to stand up.. BUT.. i feel so weak tat i couldnt stand .. LOL!.. wai leong also hahahahhaha! both of us like... walking from one side to the other.. hahahs! Gotta thks Nic for supporting me through the journey to Lau's house.. Really thks man ^^

I feel really sick when i was walking sia.. Like having fever.. Yet i feel damn cold outside and inside. LOL!.. then headache.. then sleepy... watever.! we Took a taxi to Lau's house.. when we went in the lift... i looked into the mirror.. and i thought i became a ghost LOLOLOLOL! I look DAMN pale lah!

Aft we Went into his house.. They Put me down on a mattress and i jux fell asleep till 11am+ hahas.. I woke up to find tat most ppl are gone.. Left wif NIc and Lau.. both still sleeping. so i went to take a bath.. bloody.. i still feel abit wobbly even though i slept for so long hahaha!

Its really OMg.. yea.. but aft i came out from the bathroom, nic was awake alrdy.. and we watched the vids and Laugh our ass off while waiting for lau to come awake XD. Lunch was settled at Lau's house.. his dad bought chicken rice for us. THKS UNCLE!!! Sry for troubling u!! =D

Went home aft tat.. and prepare to go iluma for some taiko and meet jie.. though my original idea was... GO THR AND FIND JON!!!.. but.. he wasnt thr cause he took leave to bbq =.= LOL!.. played afew rounds of taiko wif the taiko dojo ppl.. and lau. then went to eat wif jie at the CHICKEN RICE Coffee shop! XD

Went back to Iluma to find gias aft tat.. but he wasnt anywhr to be Found D; sads... cause his jacket wif me LOLOLOL! HINAGIKU!!!!!

Anw.. Im goin to sleep le.. Nites People.

*Beep*

...
...

...

Status: Sleepy and goin to bed

*Shutdown*

2010-01-21T17:40:00.004+08:00

haiz... 5:40pm.. 21st January 2010.

Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

...
...
...
...

Log 1:
Position: School
Sector: Level 6 lab
Situation: FARKING SIAN

Hello thr. Its been about 21days since sch reopened.. Ever since things have not been goin well. *sigh* Guess things are really goin amock in my life. Not to say bad, but sad things one after another. Nothing seems to fit into my life.

Really troubled these days. Nothing haf been more stressful to me than relationship and Work. i've never felt more alone since the last time i got boycott from class.. even sch. but it i didnt feel so bad then.

I found out, as we grow older.. the hunger for companionship grows. I find that i really need someone to hold and cry on, that special someone. Though its not for me to choose, but all that i haf pulled myself into only leave me in disappointment.

Love as they say, are hard to find. But to find that special some1 that love u back, is even harder. I for one haf learnt that nomatter how good u can be to a person u fancy, u can nv get her. cause thrs always some1 that alrdy rest in her heart.

Knowing the truth that u can never get her is pain, But refusing to let her out of ur mind proves to be more fatal. Which eventually lands me in the state of depression, hurt and moodless.

Its ok if it only happen for once, twice.. but for someone to fall for everyone of them that he knows will never be together wif is like suffering repeated strikes to the heart consistantly everyday and nite.

he Only wished for one of them to know and accept him, but fear haf led him to be silent and bear the pain. Cause he will feel Like a Damn retard and ashamed of facing her if he got rejected by her.

Time passed haf gradually made the growth more pain and emotionless..

Guess that this is jux the begining of the impending doom.

Times up, i gotta go.

This is Boris.. Signing out..

*beep*

Status: Logged Out At 5:57pm

*Shutsdown*

2010-01-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

I Wish Everybody A happy 2010~!!!

May THis Year Be A Blessed Year For Everyone!

2009-12-26T17:40:00.003+08:00

Back For Blog... ok thks To jie for telling me to blog =.= Lol~

Anw.. I wanna grats Jonneh!!! Hope ya Be Happy Forever eh!!!
And i lost .. ='[

ah well.. nt gonna talk much bout it..
Since its over might as well forget it.

Jux now went to the Hospital To visit my uncle...
Damn its so hard to hold my tears back..
Everytime i look at him, i cant help but to feel how fragile life can get.
he used to be so strong, so healthy... Nthing seems to beable to stop him in his tracks
But now. all tat lay infront of me, is a man fallen prey to an incurable illness.
He looks so frail, So weak, like a gust of wind would make him lose his balance
I cant help but to stay silent and hold my saddness.
we cant tell him tat he's health will degenerate and a faster pace.
We cant let him lose hope in living,
so I jux Stood thr and Hold My Tears Back While SHowing A smile on my face ='[
He cant eat, He's suffering everyday and nite.
Aches everywhr, he haf to be fed through a tube which pokes straight into his stomuch.
Looking at it alrdy makes me Feel UNeasy And Down.
I didnt Expect things like tat would happen... But it did..
I once thought i would never feel Saddness for things in life..
But i was wrong..
i Still Haf feelings Left in me.

Though its a Heart of Stone, But It was once Still a living Heart Wif Feelings WIthin.
THe feelings are just Locked away, To prevent me From Furthur Hurt.
But At Times, Certain Images Will Remind the Heart Of What It used To be.
Now It Came Back.. In a Rush Of Pity and saddness.

Hurt not once, But Twice to a Heart Of Shattered Dreams.
I Stood ALone Wif Words Lost in The Mind.
My mouth uttered but No words were spoken

In the Corner of my mind, I prayed FOr God To Heal
In the other Corner, I prayed For God To Relieve.

For looking at one suffer..
Especially One that U are related or haf feelings for,
is as good as Suffering yourself.

Though ONe Chapter Of my life haf ended,
It haf not ended For him, and others.
I haf suffered, And i rather that i'd be the one thats suffering instead.
Since Im all Stoned now, Y not Let me take All Your Punishments.
I am willing to Sacrifice To Cure all The Brokern Hearts.
For one Deed can Change a Million lives,
Let me Do Good For Once.
Though I am Not Any Holy man, Or A person wif a Truely Pure Heart.
But I Would take all the sufferings away so others could live in joy.

If i could, I pray to god, To let me be the one to take The sufferings.
I am willing to take the pain and sufferings.
For I have lived long enough, And i am content to haf done all i could to change ppl's lives for the better

For the better Days.. God Bless!

2009-11-25T22:31:00.002+08:00

well... nothing much to post really..

hahas.. jux feel like i shld post smthing up once in awhile..

anw... i think im not gonna go sch tmr..

dont really feel good neh..

feels like vomiting ..

i didnt really even eat much for dinner

cant bring myself to swallow the food..

maybe cause its too dry or smthing.. makes me wanna puke .. ><

ahh well.. shld be taking an mc tmr.. its a long day tmr though..

class from 9am - 6pm

not funny nehhh~~

ah well.. atleast thrs someone i could talk to .. XD

killing the boredroom.. making gundams. and doin assignment =/

watever... my stomach is killing me though..

wonder which part of the diet i ate wrongly.. since.. the day we ate popeye DX...

ZOMG i got Poisoned by the person LOL!...

anw.. yea.. im gonna stop here..

back to my guitar and emo songs XD ..

2009-11-16T04:41:00.002+08:00

Argh~~ Stupid Phone Bastard me Siaaa~
K.O at this Time.. =.= .. Freaking annoying
I swear I'll change back to the OLD nokia Phones man!!

I Mean Comeon!!! They're so Durable.. Resistance to Da Max!
Cannot Spoil One!!! Then stupid Sony EricSson, Phone spoil so easily -.-

Bloody hell siaa.. So WEAK.. SO WEAK!!! Like WEAKSTER!!!!
Now I cant sleep and its in the middle of the night.. Nice one uh!!!
4:43am As im typing this.. gees~

Later still must go sch at 7am..
well.. perhaps i'll jux live off without a phone for one day!
atmost emo one person niaa.. no one can contact me.. i cant contact no one..
meow. Personal time wif me and myself -.-
ok so damn argh...

Loneliness shouldnt bother me till tat day when i felt so helpless.
Hurt and all alone.. Worst kinda Feel ever.
The Fear.. The Loneliness.. The Sadness..
arrrr....

Worst off im outside at tat time.
Cant make out my thoughts. am i blaming some1? or am i blaming myself?
who caused me to be in this state? why am i crying?
Why does it happen? Why Wont they understand?
I tried to find ppl to talk to. but to no avail..
msgs sent were not replied. and i grew to feel worst..

Here i was Thinking.. i shldnt be troubling my bros.
but i couldnt help it. i need to talk to some1
or i'll die..
lucky he was thr to reply me.
though it was random.. cause i dun usually msg him to talk bout things.
Before i texted him.. i was at the food court.. wif my parents.
But i cant bring myself to face them.
I feel so ashamed.. so angry..
thoughts was Flying past my head when i was eating..
and no one would believe. but i finished 3 whole plates of food in like 15mins?

So i finished.. and thr we're sitting next to each other.
I cant talk.. i felt dumb.
mom went to ntuc to buy stuff.. dad was sitting wif my grandparents.
i feel out of place.. awkward.. so BAD..
so i walked off to a quiet place, alone, wif tears forming..

i sat dwn.. in a foyer like area..
wif little ppl sitting ard.. maybe like 6 old man scattered across the circular structure.
i started texting him, my bro, as tears start to drop..
when he called.. i cant find the words to speak..
i was sobbing.. words that i speak.. was muffled by the cries.
But i managed to speak my mind out, wif freaquent pauses in between.
as i was weeping so badly.

We talked for awhile.. then my parents called. time to get back home.
i was still sobbing when i walked towards the car. but they aint there to see it.
The songs that was playing through the mp3.
Ringed in my head.. over and over again.. realising.. that it could meant so much more.
It thought me, that theres always more than just one value, meaning within a thing, price, song.. everything

well i guess i'll end it off here.. i'll catch a quick nap before 630.

ciaoz

2009-11-10T10:57:00.002+08:00

Alriteetyyyy thhennnn~~!!!! wwahahhaa

Sry Fokes For Not updating the bloggg..
Its Nthing but a Too Damn Busy With Everything Guy here
hahas!
Oh yea.. sry for the not updated links~ haven relinked or linked anyone for dunno how long XD
But yea.. Will do tat soon.

So comming back here.. wats my purpose? eh... dunno~~~
haha!!! Revival Of Blog..
Nahh not really.. jux blogging for fun..
dun really know wat to type anw so jux spam it wif words =p

ALrite.. will be back for some post maybe at the end of this week. ciaoz

2009-09-25T03:22:00.002+08:00

Alrite lah~~~!!!

Now Is 3:25am... and im sitting infront of my com typing this entry..

wierd enough... i dun even know y i wanna type this but... heh..

so.. jux ended gaming... had some issues up... ahh~~ usual stuff whr ppl gets pissed and irritated cause they 'died' in the game or smthing..

in the case whr complementing on each others flaws is almost impossible..

eEeeEmooOoo...

Anw... atleast things didnt end up anw bad... atleast my K/D didnt drop XD

In other way... my PSR dropped which is wat we wanted anw.. hahas

hmmm.. things haf passed soo long since then... i can barely remember much...

well.. actually not remembering them would be much of Peace and Happiness..

Y brood over the past times when the present could be so much better ...

Nomatter how bad it was back then.. it's all over.. and we know for a fact tat nothing from the past could be changed...

soo.. getting back... i looked at my past posts... and i smiled at them..

finding them abit silly haha...

but somehow still meaningful and reveals the moment of thoughts at that particular time...

it was such a long way back then... well the last post before the previous one...

About me not being able to pass even a sing Oni song on the taiko machine.. hahaha

Now i can pass so much more...

and indeed time have let me learn and get better and better...

i use to complain that i can never get better even if a hundred years haf passed XD...

but well.. this definately proves me wrong .. =D..

with a bit of patience and hardwork and effort... one can get better at almost anything.

interesting isnt it ... how time works its way ard for ya.. hahaha

then further back to the emo posts... all about the darkness of life... Death...

well.. apparently.. surviving through the darkest days can make one so much stronger..

choice given to the person.. whether he/she wans the easy way or hard way out...

where 'easy way' stands for ... End of everything... ending up wif bad consequences...

or the 'hard way' which means... Work through it.. give it everything u've got and never give up even until the end... ending up wif a good thing atleast... for most of the time XD..

Goin on to relationships stuff.. well.. not getting anywhr.. still the same old man from the block.. haha!

perhaps im not ready yet for a relationship tats y i haven have the courage to speak out...

though thr were many opportunities given...

i never once had the confidence and courage to approach and open my mouth =/

sad uh~ hahaha

well tat makes me an AVALIABLE MAN!!! XD...

Not selling myself here Duh~~~

Jux wondering how is the old fren doing.. haven spoken to her for a long time...

Should be having exams now alrdy...

and another... which went MiA... since the last few weeks we've msged XD... ok isit jux a week ago? ... hmm..

Well .. haven had any smses from her seems like months and weeks though its jux days..

emo uh~ hahahaha..

Well.. my eyes are closing alrdy ... guess i'd stop here..

Last Words before i sleep...

Goodluck JON!!!! FIrst Day Of WORK!!! Dun Anyhow *ahem* Xmm LOL!..

And GoodLuck To Those Having Exams!!!

Flying off to hainan Tmr alrdy~ Hope This trip will be worth the while...

Nites Dudes!

+God-Bless+

2009-09-24T00:43:00.002+08:00

hahaha~ Revival Of Blog... Nah probably not...

since Im Flying off to hainan in 2 days... lol...

and.. sry for the slow slow replies and not relinking...

i've not been blogging for a long time...

kinda busy these days .. training.. planning, work and stuffs...

blogging certainly haf be set aside due to the busy schedules and limited time...

ah well... Be back again to upload photos...

2009-07-19T00:22:00.002+08:00

Dunno whens the last time since i came here to blog.. well..
atleast im not dead yet tats one thing =]

Hmm~ haven have much feeling these days
much in confusion.. but seems like things are getting abit wierd..

Most of the days.. Good way of saying.. I feel calm...
Bad way of saying.. i feel numb.. cause i dun feel anythin else..

im a way.. i kinda like it this way.. i can see things better..
Things tat used to look fast to me .. now seems to be slower..

and i feel happier.. lighter..
I see things differently.. and i feel .. different feelings growing..

unexpected.. i would say.. i am changing slowly..

and of course.. fun in a way.. which is.. Frenzxc!!!
Time spend wif frens is fun! =D

Taiko.. is fun too!! i've been playing tat for awhile -.- ... and i still cant pass the oni songs Arghhh~~ hahaha..

During these past weeks.. I've grown to learn more about life.. my frens.. and me..
i understood a part of me and well.. thrs still a hidden part which is yet to be unravelled.

Bball!!! Hey dudes! lets play bball moree.. we needa train Man!! hahaha..

More running sessions and gyming!!! we need da strenght and stamina! =D

ok short post for now.. update more soon ^^

GOd Bless!

2009-06-15T23:54:00.002+08:00

Today.. time passed as usual.. went to sch, met up wif david and wyman to do our counseling psycho project...

we went around finding the so called 'perfect' spot so we can do our video.. but apparently.. the sch is... crappy.. XD.. ok .. jux tat the facility aint there.. so we decided to go to wyman's house to do the project..

Rched his house... he found out that he nv bring his key -.- .. so we walked the 'back door' haha.. i was like uh.. omg.. u can jux enter like tat 0.0? ... nvm..

then went to his room... shifted his bed.. then brought in a few piece of furniture to set up for our video.. i was trying to tune myself to the emo mode.. quite hard wif ppl ard.. cause.. i cant really become like... emo when thrs ppl ard.. its like auto that i wanna make the place fun and interesting..

so yea.. finally felt the mood and we started to take the recording...

we talked and talked.. i was the one getting counseled.. so .. yea.. XD... EMO!!!!

our video recording was suppose to be like ard 10mins.. but it seems like we talked too much .. =p.. we ended up wif a total of 16mins+... so .. gotta crop it ..

after that.. we went home.. took bus wif david.. talked for awhile.. finally.. get to know him alittle.. he aint tat cold.. LOL!... Dun kill me XD hahaha..

Jux the impression he gave me when we first met lah... cause he like damn serious and stuffs... then i dun dare talk to him =.=.... LOL!...

OK so.. went home... took 89 from dte.. ( I NEVER GO PLAY TAIKO!!!! OMG!!!!)

rched home.. wanted to go for a run.. but.. haven had dinner.. so cant run without energy -.- .. parents rched home at ard 9pm+ cannot run lo~~~ so late liao.. yea.. so ate and started to try to do my maya again..

SAME RESULT... FARKING SCREW UP!!!!! Im so screwed lah pls.. i dunno how ima survive next week.. i think ima fail this sem lo~~ farked up sia...

yea.. so felt quite upset... kept on thinking wat can i do.. MY HEAD's Gonna blow soon ><...

i Cant Do No Freaking Programming... I cant freaking make my maya stuff... WAT THE FUCK CAN I FREAKING DO! !!!!!! ... :'[

my sprites.. i haven even settled my program u wan me to freaking do my sprites??? WTF SIA...

FARK this lah~~~ im so Freaking screwed ... Cant wait to put a knife rite through my head.. or even pull the trigger of a gun and blast my heart out... WAts the use of slicing the wrist when it hurts so much and watches ur hand bleed... It jux makes you more freaking miserable..

Freaking jux end it wif one shot lah~~~ I really cant Withstand the pressure anymore lo...

Every nite.. something will come to my mind.. i haf ideas to make things perfect.. BUT I JUX CANT FREAKING DO IT CAUSE SOMETHING ALWAYS SCREW UP!... Im giving up on my life soon...

Its jux a few nites back.. I closed my eyes.. I wondered can i end everything if i jux died? ... I even thought of writing a freaking will to pass all my stuffs to charity and frens.. I thought of.. the peace tat will be given to me.. I will Have no more pressure .. NO MORE FREAKING WORK TO PULL ME DOWN.. NO MORE FREAKING WORK TAT I HAF NO LIKING IN DOING!...

Then Comes the thought.. How will i go.. Get killed in a car accident? .. Jump off a building? Stab myself? run straight to the wall and hit my head so hard that it breaks instantly? ... I figured no one would cared anyway... I might as well jux die off somewhr wif no one.. I alrdy pictured no one comming for my funeral..

my hands are shaking... but my eyes are wide open.. it seems like ... its wat ima do soon? .. ima not waste time jux sitting here and rot.. ima spend the best of my time left wif people tat can make me happy.. Work? ... Shit it.. I cant do no work..

Love? I aint got no love.. For fark sake.. Is thr even love... Most of it.. jux expressions of care and concern.. other than tat.. hatred... jealousy.. saddness.. vengence...

I dont know how long i can stay like this before i lose it.. Ima jux end it sooner or later.. sometimes.. i even wished tat i could die running.. from heart attack or smthing.. lung bleeds... stomach burst and cause massive internal bleeding till i drop dead..

Or i would die from a bite of a poisonous animal.. which would end in awhile.. nothing matters... i haf passed on...

If one day i stopped goin to sch... and i never even go online forever.. Im gone i presume.. or i've left to some island alone... I jux hoped tat... if things are gonna end for me...

The entries in this blog.. Someone will print it out and file it in some place.. even make it into a story.. or even make songs outta them..

I aint able to fulfill the things i've promised to some people.. im deeply sorry.. if we're able to meet in the next life.. I'll be sure to fulfill them ... Even at the cost of my life..

I've told ya people.. tat i will never break promises... I've failed some.... I've brokern some.. and its left a mark within tat i'll never forget..

I think it'll be weeks before anyone will come and read.. if by that time im gone.. Check around my house... I might haf left a will somewhr hidden between..

I have never planned to fail.. but this time.. it seems inevitable.. I cant take the blow.. I might fall into great depression.. or im alrdy in one..

It seems like the 2 sides of me switches almost instantly.. once ppl are gone .. the other one will come out to haunt me..

I could type more.. but i think .. i might leave it to some other time.. perhaps .. the last? .. well.. Life have its way for me.. Forced to the edge..

My legs might frost when crossing a busy traffic.. or my heart might fail in a critical situation..

Things will be revealed.. once again.. soon...

God Bless~

2009-06-12T21:57:00.002+08:00

Boinks~~~~ hahahaa

Today is a Great Day!!!! I Caught A CAPPY(KAPI) Using Only $1!!!!! RAWR!!!! LOL!!!

hahahaha my luckies DAY EVER!!!!!

seriously~ i didnt even expect tat to happen XD

Its a damn SurPRise!! =DDDDDD

when i press the BIG RED BUTTON, i was like.. hmm.. ima jux do it for fun since ricky is trying to catch his totoro clock... then i was like aiming for the '+3' so in case i miss.. i got 3 extra chances to try out for free...

i dunno how.. it ended up on the chance... and i was like.. hmmm.. wats tat about...

MIRACLE!!!! the Claws GRAPPED THE KAPI ALL THE WAY TO THE HOLE!! ! ! ! !LOL!...

Zuyi, Ricky, me and pokute was like OMG!!! WTF!!!! U CAUGHT IT!!! LOL!..

I was like Jumping around when it dropped down the hole XD... then ricky grapped my kapi and ran out~~~ sayin i suxs LOL!....

Thks Ricky!!! CAUSE U NEVER BUY LEMON TEA TATS Y U NO LUCK!!! RAWR!!!! XD

then i said... i caught it using 1 buck~~~ They went like 0.0.... GG... Bobo is Lucky.. .LOL!..

Luck is my skill MUAHAHAHHAHAHHA

i carried it, hugging it all the way from marina square back to expo the IT Fair~~

Ricky bought a moninter to look at his *Vids* and a Diamondback 3G wif Goliaths Mouse pad... Zuzu bought another Diamondback also.. but wif ExMat and I got My DeathAdder wif ExMat XD...oh got my Sonic Gear Ear Phones Too.. XD Not forgetting My Dear Cappi ~~~ =D WAHAHHAHAHAHHA

Ok then.. hmm.. jux came back from a running routine... every week does this atleast once..

quite fun actually.. but tiring .. i cant seem to run any faster .. -.-...

gotta run MOARE!!!! MEOW!!!!

Emo stuffs... Hmm.. cant seem to beable to come up wif one now ~ XD.. hahhaa

to busy hugging and squishing my cute cute cappy!! lol... GG...

my cats are getting jealous ><...

haha alrites.. short post..

Goodluck haf fun!

2009-06-01T11:58:00.004+08:00

It All started.... *Beep beep....*

Yawns... Another day beings... hmmm where am i? .. * looks around at his surroundings*

this place, It's familiar.. oh i remember now.. Im at LaO Laozxc house... LOL!...

Yea... current situation... All's still sleeping... Jem as usual... cant crawl outta da bed..

Cant go swim now... -.-... freaking burning !!!!

kinda bored now actually.. ima start revising on my DSAG...

Jux Wondering If life could ever get more interesting in a way or another..

If something could jux appear to spice up the life.. cause... its kinda shitty... to be spending most of my days away wif guys... not tat im saying anything.. but.. it jux feels odd... like something is missing .. haha..

well.. tats jux life for now aint it.. =p... ima haf to live wif it.. think of it as... living alone once again... back into old old old times.. XD

Sitting beside the bed, typing this entry while looking out the window at the other blocks of flats and the sky... makes me wonder... if thrs someone out thr waiting for me?.. haha

kinda like a wishful dream aint it.. =/...

nothing's ever impossible though... look at things like....

Everyone thinks a pretty girl... or those that we considered very good looking.. should be going out wif a very handsome.. smart or elegant guy~~~ but infact... we'd see alot tat makes us awww... Omg.. Wtf... LOL!..

cause.. from wat i see.. even we... those pretty girls are actually getting hitched by Guys tats like even more... Ok lets not say anything.. hahahaha.. jux say.. they dun look tat good.. we might jux rate them below average.. but stunningly.. their girlfriends.. OMG... is like angels...

Heres the thing... Y aint the good looking ones getting hitched or hitching one while those that aint that nice lookin Get Hitched/attached instead... Conclusion.. cause they're more 'brave' than us...

see... like... they dared to approach.. while the rest of the bunch... stays back at the back.. thinking about things... daring each other.. but no one dares to approach... in fear of getting rejected and stuffs.. in the end.. none got anything bt only the one tat asked got the deal..

Fair? haha..almost perfectly... since the rest got no balls to freaking even ask.. then they aint even worthy... cause .. u know u cant really trust them.. haha.. in times of danger.. they may be the first to run.. the first to turn their backs on ya...

agree? I think most does...

hahaha... ok since its early in the morning I aint gonna type tat long bwahahahha =p

goodluck haf fun for ya test peeps!!! ALL THE WAY!!!

GodBless!

2009-05-30T23:56:00.002+08:00

ok I'll keep this short...

Moodless.. Seriously... Moodless...

I am not happy nor Sad... I jux basically cant feel anything now...

my mind is blank.. my heart haf stopped...

i haf paused in the midst of time..

I've been quiet.. really quiet... I cant even find a word to say...

To anyone... I jux find ... tat .. i really cant say anything..

Im dumbfolded... im really losing touch with the world...

I cant communicate anymore...

even through cyber space... i cant seem to crack up anymore things....

let alone reality... face to face... i cant even think of wat to say...

perhaps... im made to be dumb... or left alone... even live alone in a lone world in a lone country...

who in the world will like someone tat cant even talk well... or communicate well..

its like... impossible.. be it fate...

Im really losing myself... Losing myself to... Me......

my inner demon... The one tat will end my life...

Its taking over me.. making me numb... stabbing me within...

hurting me wif all the bad memories... now and before...the history...the present.. all~~~

i missed the days ... when we jux sit down and talked to each other for hours without fail.. when the atmosphere is so pure... so happy... so filled with the scent of love...

I miss you... I miss the times... I miss the beautiful past...

I yearn for a Nice relationship... I wish for a better life...

I wish for a better me... Tat i wont be such a .. Weakling...

I wish tat i will never lose my frens...

I wish tat ... I am not forgotten...

Too many tat i haf to wish... But i had none...

I have to make decisions... Though most are tough... but i still haf to make...

One decision can lead to different results... I may lose my best pals...

I may lose my love... I may even lose my life...

I dont wan to lose anything... It jux hurts me so bad tat .. I can never forget them...

These bad memories stick wif me throughout the days and nites..

the good times.. are only for the moment.. How i wish they could last =[

When will i find my love... my soul mate.. one tat will accept me for who i am...

One tat will accept my hobbies... who will stay wif me through the days...

my biggest fear is that it will never come...

To give up everything for one ... I would think alot through...

But for my love.. my best pals... I would not mind...

I may be selfish... I maybe ... picky... but i treat frens more than who they think i am to them... even.. who they are to me... I treasure them.. but i fail to keep them.. cause i fail to connect well enough...

I am tired... Im off...

2009-05-23T01:39:00.002+08:00

HellO~.. ok lah~ emo post... once again...

so be prepared to read a wall of text... well sry lah~ i aint those pictures pictures guys...
and also... well.. wats there to see bout a emo pic eh =]

first things first... gotta say thks to all that voted for me...
U guys really supported me and i am really grateful to u guys! Thanks!
Truely from my heart thanks you! =D

But the thing is im sorry that i am not selected to be in the main comm...
=[ its a sad thing but ... i guess its god's will..

maybe its time that i wake up to face the truth that i am really lacking in time to catch up with stuffs..

This may be a chance given to me to start my work like giving time to study my jap and continue to complete my programs..

Like ricky said... Im still not able to get outta my slacker mode... Dude not that i dont want lah~ but i tried to le.. its jux so not me... its kinda hard to change jux like tat...

Perhaps this have already been with me since primary sch.. my happy go lucky mode... never stopped for once.. ok maybe once in awhile... that i actually put tat much time into really studying and doin my work...

Things are really easier said than done.. I've always tried to change my ways... but i cant seem to do it ... always distracted by something.. or drift away from my actual goal.. or getting pulled down by expected and unexpected stuffs...

Last min work haf always been my way.. its bad and really bad.. gotta change the habit.. DAMN... if i have the chance to change my habits.. i would change this stupid habit of mine.. Y cant i bring myself to be like others.. who are always so kan jiong and must finish their work first.. or can listen attentively and absorb all knowledge..

It always seems to me that.. when theres no adrenaline rush for me.. i wont do it.. i must feel the rush then i'll start working.. if not.. My mind would be switched off..

I always like things to be exciting and have a rush about it so i can feel the pressure and feel the excitment within... Im wierd ok... thats me...

ok gonna talk bout other things.. like how people get viewed...

In one moment .. one might say that u are annoying and irritating while at the other.. find u cool and exciting to be with... human psychology i would say...

when people judge another when they don't know each other.. Its not fair at all..

cause when u think about it.. hey u dont know me.. so y do u have to make those unrealistic and unfair judgements about me... jux because on the outside i looks wierd.. i look like a geek, a nerd, a gangster, or anything else... NO way man...

Thrs jux no way... because you dont know me at all.. dont people always say AND hear.. Do not judge a book by its cover? and y does people still does that.... cause.. they jux likes to pass judgement on another...

nothing abnormal actually.. thats jux human i guess.. stupid human thinkings... different people likes different things.. so if u dont like it.. y not jux keep ur mouth shut and keep them to urself... u dont haf to be like telling everyone and passing ur judgement of that particular person to another..

Its ok to judge someone that we all know.. cause maybe all of us are thinking of the same thing.. and also because we know him and atleast knows whats he's like on the inside.. maybe not that deep but.. atleast we get to know something of him/her...

If u jux see the person for the first time.. and u alrdy made unfair judgements bout him/her criticizing his/her personality which u dont even know about and wats more.. u only see the outside.. its so totally untrue and biased..

Maybe i should say.. its the way u look and how u present urself infront of others.. how u act and move actually shows people what kind of person u are... but what if its jux an out of the blue stuff... then u presume that the person is like that for his whole life ? ... is that fair?

Ever wondered how people viewed you instead? and what if u were the one being criticized instead.. will u feel good? ... cause its ur reputation at stake too if it got spreaded around.. if its good.. then gratz.. cause u've become famous amoung the people.. if its the otherwise bad... u will become one of the most outcasted and hated one amoung the people..

Nthing much that i wanted to say actually... but actually jux my view on the people's mindset of judgement.. Jux To say... One should never judge another till he/she have really known the person personally and quite well.. or not.. its jux too early to make a judgement cause it jux might turn out to be the opposite and u have alrdy ruined the person's life by passing on the bad remarks because of ur judgement...

well then.. comming to relationships...

i think i suffered quite alot alrdy.. hahaha..
its a really complicated thing to say... cause.. everyone feels and views relationships in different ways...

nothing much i could say.. brokern relationships are getting quite common nowadays.. especially amoung teens.. cause.. people are jux goin into a relationship for the SAKE of it.. they jux wan to try out smthin new.. and never thought of the consequences and outcomes...

To those that have a lasting relationship.. Gratz to u!
To those that Lost One... Its still early.. take ur time.. these things cannot be rushed.
To those that never had one.. well.. Lets strive hard together to get one in time to come =D

One can never know how deep and bad one could get hurt from a brokern relationship..
some jux lets it go like nothin ever happened.. while others drags on about it.. bringing the hurt and sad memories with them everywhr they go..

This not jux affects their mood.. but also affects the others if they see the person being emo and gloomy all the time.. being not able to cheer up.. everyone would be putting on their sad faces as well and the happy atmosphere will be gone..

Im tired already.. will type some other stuffs the next time..

last thing.. Things does not always looks as peaceful as it is one the surface.. cause things maybe stirring up within and a chaos might be brought about the next moment without even u knowing it..

Think before u do, think before u say.. cause words that is spokern, cannot be collected back again..

God Bless

2009-05-15T22:24:00.002+08:00

Haven Been Blogging much lately.. Im Damn tired..
Seriously.. Workload have been growing and growing..

Next week.. 3 assignments are gonna due..

and i haven even finished them..

I know... Instead of Blogging.. Shouldnt i be doin them NOW?

well.. I haven slept well.. didnt have enough sleep...
and lookin at my bro feeling down...I cant really cheer up either..

things haven been goin tat well...
Failed my jap test.. i totally have no mood and wasnt prepared to do it...
cause i forgot bout the test.. and didnt get enough sleep..

moreover i had my whole day packed wif class... goin for one after another..
without much break.. damn it's tiring..

As much as it is.. i've been going home late.. more often is.. having dinner wif my group of bros and frens.. doin our work, and posters for the Election!...

Well.. finally now can take a small break off.. atleast i got my posters up.. so i wouldnt have to worry much bout ppl not knowing me..

Vote For Me And The G.E.T. 5 Peeps!!!! we're counting on u!!!! G.E.T 5 includes ( Me, Jon Tan Ziyi, Wee kiat, Eugene and Qi Yang)..

Yesterday Jon, wk and qi yang came over to my house to stay over nite to complete their posters.. so did i.. we didnt get to sleep till like 4am in the morning whr one by one started to fall asleep.. i was the last to get a nice rest... it was 6am.. we wanted to go to sch at 7am to finish up our posters faster.. but i guess we're all jux too tired..

lookin at them all sleeping.. i went to bed as well.. waking up 4h later.. at 10am.. came back to my com.. only qi yang was awake at tat time.. wk and jon was still sleeping at the sofa.. so i chatted on msn for awhile..

Sry lah Jas... Not i dun wan talk to u luh~... is i no time... and busy finishing up wat i was doin a few hours back.. anw also damn long time no see u online le... perhaps cause i am the one tat wasnt online much of the time lah~.. i've been really busy in sch and stuffs...

Im Getting tired of this life man.. i know i know... I am living a great life.. atleast better than some of my bros.. But... It's jux not wat i wan to do... im really tired... Been to jon house to let him take his stuff before commin to my house to do the posters... obviously.. he isnt really in a good state wif his mom... hey bro.. I know how u feel.. But sometimes.. u jux haf to know wat they're trying to do... not tat i wan to say anything to offend u or smthin... to be fair.. i haf to say.. parents dont do wat we wan them to do.. and in turn.. we too dont do wat they wan us to do.. they dont really wanna be control freaks.. but.. it jux happens tat they cant help it... In the state of Ur family.. u cant really blame anyone.. cause u know.. its alrdy very hard up on her jux to keep the food on the table for u and ur sis.. its really stressful and she haf to be a control master to keep the Things in check..

going on... we went to the poly clinic to get mc for wk and jon since they missed thier CDS lessons and dun wanna get a warning letter.. while they're getting the mc.. qi yang and me went to starbucks to drink kopi and do our own stuffs.. i watched deadspace again.. nice movie.. damn gore.. haha.. and waited for like an hour or 2.. before finally moving to take the bus to sch...

rched sch at ard 2+ 3 pm... everyone was getting anxious cause we haven got our posters approved by the SAA.. and we haven printed them out too.. Jon was in a freaking bad mood.. It jux happens tat we're rushin so much and the stress is really gettin into his head..

But at last.. we still managed to get everything done..by 8pm... sry arthur... i didnt make it to the gathering.. my bad... i couldnt finish my stuffs on time.. and i cant leave them to jon and qi yang to help me do it... cause it wont be fair that i leave and let them do my work for me..

Sry to Kris too... I didnt go find u~ i am really busy wif the setting up of posters and stuff.. i even skipped my lunch.. till jux when i rched home.. then i got my meal.. i cant set my time off to leave jux to slack ard.. while my bros are doin all the work.. really PS...

So goin back.. have been thinkin much bout stuffs.. being emo.. watever.. the feeling jux never leaves.. always hoping to have someone beside me.. Things jux suxs so much...

Its jux not possible now... me to settle down.. my heart's in a mess.. my brain's always crowded with thoughts.. though it hurts and i dun wanna think bout them.. they jux comes naturally.. lonely and afraid.. sad and regret.. Feels like crying..

Always.. all the nights... Is this a fear?... Or is this a sign... Is this wat they call craving... or depressed... wats thr to hear.. when u see someone u like being wif another person.. who might be ur rival... it may even be ur best fren... argh... scary...

this always happens in the drama.. whr one beats up another.. or let the girl off to live happily ever after blah blah... is it wats in real life? wierd...

But then again.. it may jux be another reason tat.. I jux wan to feel a girl's warmth in my arms.. holding her.. having the nice cuddly feel.. the nice feel of holding her hands..

Then i come to think of myself.. what do i haf to deserve to get a girl fren or anything... i have no courage to even say out my true words.. always wishy washy.. dilly dally shilly shally... wasting time.. letting the one i like walk away from the corner of my eyes..

What i do?... i jux close my eyes.. and regret not telling and talk to them.. I am so freaking useless... I am so freaking down.. I can never say and express wat i wan to say.. I dun wanna be a flirt... or say 'hongster'... like wat WK says... the 'nerds'... in other countries.. because they cant get a girlfren.. always lookin at other guys being wif girls and gettin jealous.. they changed their attitude and styles jux to become An attraction to the girls.. not jux that... they become more flirtish and doesnt gives respect to girls...

I dun wanna become like tat.. i wanna stay as myself.. i wanna be myself.. i dun wanna change jux to get attension from girls ard.. worst .. i dun wanna be called a flirt.. cause its jux not my personality.. i respect them for who they are..

U can piss me off.. But i wouldn't do anything.. maybe if driven over a limit.. i'll jux not talk to u... Sometimes.. its jux the way tat.. i dont like how u speak.. or the way u express things.. its ok to talk bout it alittle.. but not over the limit whr it jux turns off ppl... which makes me wanna shut the conversation down..

I know myself.. as being boring.. cause .. if i go out wif girls.. i dun really talk much.. much as it is.. im shy and controlled by my own fears... not tat i dont wanna talk.. its jux.. the fear makes me speechless.. mind blank.. stuffs.. i cant really speak out and say wat i say when im wif guys.. especially my close bros.. Its jux this mental block that i cant break...

Not by myself.. I need someone who can stay wif me throughout.. fighting by my side.. never giving up on me.. well.. this kinda person is hard to find.. who would wanna fight by my side anw... my bros? maybe... perhaps.. i trust my bros.. but for girls.. i guess... none... maybe one.. but.. its been a long time.. and i guess.. i've grown deeper and further...

No one knows ... wat i've been through.. wat i wan really.. wat i hope i can be... wat i wish i can do... wat i hate the outcome to be.. wat keeps me at bay.. and lots of others...

In these times... i've grown to know more ppl... But still.. im still as deep as i know ... till the day i surface.. i know tat.. i haven found the one... tat lets me lift myself up...the one tat i can always depend on...

Thinking bout the days ahead.. Should i move... im really... in a mess... i cant make up my mind.. I dun wanna leave my bros... should i go wif them as well... is thr someone tat can make me stay... or is thr someone out thr who is waiting and willing to accept me...

I know i haf turned some ppl down... but u haf to know... i have set my sights on a certain lvl and goals and objectives... now.. i dont.. even know wat i wan...

Maybe jux endin ones live could stop all this...

in the distant stars... I wonder whr i can finally find my resting place...

I jux wanna live wif the one i love.. but its harder to be done ...

U may never feel a heart brokern and hurt so deep...

U may never know the true feelings in a lonely mind...

Even if i said.. would u even understand...

Cry is the feel.. Missing is the word.. Love is a stunt... Courage is a move...

PLayin wif the minds... But the one tat might get hurt the most... is urself..

Almost like double edged sword... its never certain that u will never hurt urself

Playin wif fire... Its almost certain that u'll get burnt..hurt...

Too much that i haf to say...

tat i cant express it out.. so it shall reside in my alrdy Dead mind...

Cold as it alrdy is.. The winter chills makes it numb...

When will the Warmth Reach the surface.. and touch the frozen soul deep within...

is the day.. whr i will live again...

Till the day.. I will remain... buried in the deep depths of the artic snow..

God Bless!

2009-04-26T22:53:00.002+08:00

Back Again~ =]

well.. dont know wat to say..

was jux stunned after watchin a vid on youtube..

It was "Britains got talent".. a video on susan Boyle...

Holy God .. i swear her voice touches a million souls..

Seriously.. People should Never judge a book by it's cover..

this is the prove.. she's 47.. she's old.. she doesnt looks anywhr good..

But.. Her Voice.. Damn.. Its Soo beautiful..

I dont know u peeps.. but she damn sure moved me wif her voice..

It's like an angel's voice..

so Nice.. I cant find a word to describe it.. it was jux too Fantastic~!

Best voice I've ever heard since some time..

Some people are jux such Losers tat they have to flame her and talk bad bout her..

Jux because she haf the talent but doesnt haf the looks..

while the flamers jux got no talent at all.. And I think They DUN EVEN HAVE THE LOOKS!

They're jux jealous over her voice..haiz.. such sadded people.. get a live.. look into the mirror.. and think over it.. WAT DO U HAF TATS BETTER THAN HER TAT U CAN FLAME HER.. Tat applies to other things too.. Looks, Brain.. watever.. People have no rite to flame other people...It jux makes u looks so bad tat u are jux another LOSER in life and is wasting earth's space and resources...

ok.. Even if u do have the looks.. jux treat it as.. ur looks is ur talent.. dun go ard flaming other people wif different talents even if they dont look good in ur eyes..

Over wif it.. Susan Boyle is great.. and she's inspiring to many ppl.. Go on Wif Ur Dream! Make It Real! =D

So.. haven been bloggin lately.. was kinda lazy and tired...

too much work is piling up lately..

I needa plan my time well le..

and.. i will be stayin alone for the next 10 days..

parents are overseas.. gotta do all the house work..

hmm.. think i wont have much time to go out anymore..

sads.. but i guess tats a good thing.. wont waste much money XD

gotta start on my projects soon..

Well.. i've planned to run 4km every alternate day.. so yea... =p..

jux went to run today.. i think i ran bout 3.5km.. and i was tired out alrdy..

my timing was 20min 46 sec.. i was thinking if i can run under 20mins when i started..

well didnt turn out as wat i expected..i needa train up my stamina le..

hmm and yea... i wanna go to the gym.. gotta plan le.. haiz.. too many things to do..

hope things go well for me.. CCA selections commin up.. i dun wanna screw them up~

god help me..

Ok .. Emo stuffs...

It was days back when i was out wif ricky after sch to eat at oppo sch.. i finished my counsslling psycho .. i think it was a thurs.. well dun care..

so while we were eating.. we talked bout girls and guys..

at first.. it was like.. Are we different in other people's eyes..

cause people always look at us like we are different from them..

and then he said.. dont u notice.. the teachers/lecturers remember us easily..

cause.. we're different.. outstanding in a way.. like how we act.. wat we do.. maybe even how we look..

then comes to say.. local people and people like us.. Outcasts..

Does the so called local people even accept us outcasts?...

local people .. hmm.. how to say.. jux the typical singaporean.. judging people by things and stuffs..

Will they ever accept us who are different from them in some ways..

even though we're born the same way.. maybe even in the same country same time..

same day.. because we.. outcasts.. like different things and do different things..

are we casted out jux because we dont really clique in wif others well.. or because we dont have the REQUIREMENTS tat LOCAL People have..

It sounds retarded doesnt it.. as in.. WE're still humans.. Y divide us into such groups and casts us away like we're some alien from a wierd planet..

Then comes in... he said.. wat does a girl see in a guy.. Looks? Style? Talent? Money?

I said.. I dont know.. thr's an unlimited amount of possibilities..

He agrees too.. cause afterall.. we're not girls.. we wont know wat a girl is thinking and wans..

then comes another question.. wat does a guy see in a girl.. I got stunned.. and for awhile i didn't know wat to say.. he too.. doesnt know wat he see's in a girl to attract him..

Both of us.. and many other people like us.. Outcasts.. have been 'Isolated'.. and didnt know wat we wan and wat we see cause we cant see..Much like a blinded man without a stick to guide him along or anyone...

People cant accept us for who we are.. then y should we care.. much less.. me and him.. we both prefer quiet and peaceful lives..

we dun mind living alone.. we're alrdy used to it..

but nthin can stop us from thinkin bout how good it'll be if we have a companion wif us..

He said that he would wanna move to jap to live thr.. wif zu.. they've alrdy planned to move thr after they are done here in sg..

me.. i would like to move thr too.. atleast i get to have 2 good frens wif me in a new country whr we only have each other to rely on..

but i too wanted to live in australia.. cause.. i want to open a ranch.. whr i can keep lots and lots of different animals..

hopefully. become a vet.. but hearing wat my fren said days back when i entered my first psycho lesson.. i cant get in unless i study science in poly.. it was upmost depressing.. cause it's like my dreams are dashed.. and i have no whr else to go.. maybe i go perfect my guitar and piano skills and become a musician to perform? ..

its not my main dream though.. haix... how.. Im really lost..True that i love music.. and i did dream bout tat one day i can make a perfect music tat can soothe peoples hearts and touch them deep within..

Isit even a dream worth realizing?..

Im really lost.. without a goal.. im jux living my life off day by day..

hoping for something to happen..

My heart breaks.. My soul Hurts from wounds left open..

Scars that reminds me of the depressing past.. painful reality that strikes day after day

wishin someone can be beside me to cry out all the sadness..

to meet someone who can heal my wounded soul and broken heart..

As all.. To my Best frens~ Ricky, Zu, Leong, Qi, LZh and many others..

I'll be thr for u when u need me.. i know i am not much of a help..

Im dumb and crap .. I only know limited stuffs..

But i'll do my best to help.. even in small things..

Im all tied up now wif things..

sigh.. Hopefully days ahead will be brighter..

GodBless!

2009-04-14T20:46:00.003+08:00

Say..today is the most shag day ever...

Only slept for like 2h 30mins? haha

from 4.30am to 7am...

then prepare go sch.. left house at 8am..

rch sch at bout 9am...

meet up wif the guys at clubroom...

then 9.30am went to sports hall.. refill our drinks...

rch the rowing area at 9.50am

then we started rowing at 10am...

i think is 10.15am bah...haha anw...

we rowed and rowed... tmd.. the sun is epic ZzZzZz...

Hot and HOT sia... but we still cont to row.. till bout 1pm...

i went to bath then went to design canteen to find zuzu and others.. cause they say CM treat..

but .. i never got the money lei... LOL!...

was damn tired lah... wan sleep the whole day..

cant think of anything else but sleep...

Tmr camp liao.. and i lack of sleep GG LAH!!!!

WORST ARH!!!! MY CLASS ALL GUYS!!! KNN!!!!! no Motivation liao lah .. sian sia..

so Called .. Worst Crap i've ever heard =.=...

and so after sem briefing... we went to Tamp1 to walk ard...

then Ricky, zuzu and renqi Ps us without tellin us... BLOODY HELL NEXT TIME TELL US LAH!!!!!....

the remainin few peeps like 6 of us... were wondering ard TM dunno wan do wat.. then decided to go home...

i thought i'd definetly sleep when i rch home..

BUT... when i got off the bus and went to the bball court.. which was along the way to my house..

I SAW JACK, ced, WS, Ced Bro and Jimmy...

wanted to go home.. but.. see bball.. so long nv touch.. and love Bball... sooo.. played 1 match..

at first... thought 1 match then go home.. we played 3v3..

I was abit tired... but after playin got more energy... and surprised i played well.. scored like 4 points of the 11 my team scored XD...

but side effect... cause i nv wear shoes!!!! ahhhh... slippers.. so i took them off and play...

Now got Blister again ... AHHHH PAIN AHHHH!!!!!

aside from the blister.. i think we played another 5 games... LOL!...

well quite fun.. but i wasnt movin ard much and do as well as i did in the first match..

XD.. still did something.. assist.. LOL!.. and screening. =p..

After tat.. i finally made my move and came back home...

=.=... sianz thing is..

I GOT MASSIVE SUN BURN!!!! =.= .. face tio.. arm tio.. leg also tio ><...

Look like Roasted Pig sia..

dunno how to face the freshies tmr =.= ... crap CRAP CRAP!!!!

haiz... sianz..

anw.. Wont be online for the next 3 days.. so...

anything sms me or call me.. ^^..

Have a nice day peeps!

God Bless!

2009-04-13T22:46:00.002+08:00

Today.. as usual went for trainin..

ran 2.4km today again.. sian lo...

was worst than last time by 1 sec T_T..

i was 12min flat the last round.. now im 12min 1sec!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

partly... cause my stomuch hurts like mad =.=

i had lunch at 4pm+... then went to ran at round 5.30pm or 6pm..

wtf sia... it was a god damned bad idea to do tat...

at least i still maintained.. or i could have ran faster lo...

sads lah...

Tmr still got rowing.. hehe

FUN FUN!!!!! but shag...

ok guess nothin much to say..

Save my emo stuffs to the next days XD

I also dun think anyone would read anw..

wats so nice bout a guy's life... when its so boring...

and he's also a nothin.. haiz..

God bless

2009-04-13T00:25:00.003+08:00

Haha ok.. back for Posting.. KEEPING IT ALIVE...!!! WOOOOOO!!!!

Today.. Went to Tamp 1. OMG TAT PLACE IS FREAKIN HUGE WITH FREAKIN AWESOME STUFF!!!! LOL!...

Nah not really.. Jux exaggerating .. XD

Went thr Bought quite alot of things.. some Shirts.. a black jeans.. T shirts.. Long Sleeve Shirts and ... THE THE THE THE THE ORANGE BOX!!! AHHHHH OMG!!!! AHHHH!!! LOL!

FINALLY!!!! i CAN PLAY TF2!!!!!! MUAHHAHAHA WEE KIAT!!!! IM GONNA GET UUUUU!!!! hahahaha

Ricky Dun Be Emo pLox... WAHAHHAHA =p..

I know u wan it alot but.. lol!!!! go buy IT AND PLAY TOGETHER!!!! XD

Oh yea.. FASTER COME BACK LAH!!!! hahaha! WE Miss ur lonesome so much lol..
=X

Oh yea.. so haven been bloggin.. cause lazy and was quite busy..

was out for most of the days.. For the days tat i aint out.. IM cleanin up stuffs.. so yea..

No TIme no TIme.. Rawr!!! haha

Have been trainin for DragonBoat this Few weeks.. maybe 5? haha..

and i've gain weight =.= ...

from 60kg - 64kg sia .. omg... 1 month nia 4 kg.. sian lo~~~ haha

How to keep myself light sia XD

Tell Me how.. Tell me Y... Tell me Everything!!!! =p..

lol.. ok.. kinda crappy teh days are.. lookin forward to WEEK 0.. haha

wonder how shag ima be after the first day... XD

Oh yea.. DUDES!!! i saw the Power Gel.. OMg.... I can feel its gonna taste Aweful.. LOL!..

Haha.. saw kok Lip and His frens at Tamp 1.. all dragon boaters.. all Muscle like Wtf Imba.. lol..

Talked for like 30 sec before goin up the escalator.. lol.. shoppin wif parents bo bian must move XD..

so yea.. shop ard and bought the stuffs and came home..

Tired.. haha.. Played dota.. 1v1 wif this Girl.. Though i dun like 1v1 but well.. entertain her lol..

win 1 lost 1.. so .. im noob wahahahhaa

And Yea.. Wats things to say.. hmm.. Haven got my inspiration to make the song yet.. haiz...

make halfway nia.. and i got no more idea..

i need more time and motivation sio... sads.. no time le.. haha..

Facebook says ima live up to a 100 Years..

I think im gonna live up to another few 10 or 20 years up? haha..

Tryin to make my life up to the max nowadays.. not wasting a min..

and result.. gettin tired like mad. =.= .. crappy isnt it..

sem 2.. hopefully i can score well.. my last chance le..

gpa must atleast raise till 3..

i need some freakin motivation sia..

Gotta buck up...

Move On Dude.. Move ON...

Theres nothin left behind but stupid Old Useless emo self..

I cant be like tat anymore.. No more..

I wana Soar high and Make a name out before im outta time..

Still .. as always.. A lone wolf... but im gettin in wif packs.. moving ard diff packs..

still at the upmost of times.. Im still a loner..

Reality never changes.. Do they.. and.. Wierd things happens all ard..

Something u never expected to come.. Came.. those u expect it to be.. It doesnt..

tats how reality works.. Nthin is ever certain.. Nthin is ever right.. and once it strikes..

It strikes hard.. Deep into the wound alrdy left open.. or breaking the failing barrier of courage.. the only thing tat keeps ppl goin..

Sufferings.. Pain..Agony.. Hate.. depression.. Results of a scar left by the piercings and strikes of the painful reality..

some heals.. some doesnt.. THough it healed.. but it may never heal again if it got hit again..harder.. those that doesnt.. fall into deep dark places behind their minds..

losing themselves.. perhaps.. even their lives.. some courage may be born form these teared open wounds.. those who does.. lived again.. for the better.. and is harder to fall..those who dont.. bring wif them the hate and scars to their graves..

Wat iS the reason to my pain...

WAt is the reason to my fears..

isit u.. who had never left me.. but left a deep scar tat never healed..

or isit another.. who jux simply crash my life?..

or isit my pathetic Dreams tat never fails to upset me..

Set backs after set backs.. and yet i face them wif a smile and stood up...

Losing all my strenght to fight back.. but i insisted in never fallin..

goals Dashed.. dreams crashed.. but im still here..

without a thought.. totally blank.. wat is my goal in life...

why am i living.. wats the deal wif me being alive..

wat is my purpose here.. y am i doin this..

y cant i find the courage to ask her out..

y cant i find the courage to tell her that i love her..

y cant i JUX find the courage to even apporach her.. any one...

is tat all to wat i am.. a little worm.. who cant do anything right..who cant even face my fears to conquer them.. who cant step up and say wat i wan and meant to say.. for once.. i wanna do it all.. but i cant..

I have no courage left.. its all been blown away.. Its all over? isit..?

can i build them up again and live up to wat i wan myself to be..

or leave myself to fall prey to the ever ruthless reality..

This.. is live..I am.. Who i am..

I wan to Do wat i wan.. i dun wanna be stopped by my fears..

but its harder to be done.. then jux sayin it out....

on my way to a new life.. trainin everyday to keep myself up..

if i fail.. its the end.. Its the final rush.. buck up little soldier..

And Rush ahead..let nothin stop u.. for u will become a champion at the end.. no matter wat..

Let no set backs hold u back.. Let no hurts and pain slow u down.. let no relationships get u to turn back and stop..

Move Forward..

God Bless

2009-03-22T22:00:00.002+08:00

WOOO HOOO!!! DMC!!!!!

GO TO DMC!! GO TO DMC!!! GO TO DMC!!!!

wahaha! ok today went wif the groupie to watch DMC! at plaza sing =D

my god it was funny and nice.. i had a hard time restraining myself not to shout LOL!

well.. we're Mad bout DMC.. cant blame us!! wahahaha

ok.. er... my body is still achin all over.. wonder how tomorrow's trainings gonna be.. perhaps..

im gonna die? lol!...

the pain is epic.. cant even sleep well at nite.. wake up too often to call it a nice rest ><

sooo.. haiz.. bo bian its a challenge tat i haf taken.. and i have to accept the fate..

but still.. its better THAN RICKY RITE!!!!

psp whole day or com or Taiko or judebeat!!! PLS RICKY!!! GO DO SOME EXCERCISE FOR NS!!!! LOL!...

u must feel the pain to enjoy the pain! wahahaha

ok im a saddist.. XD.. even kamalia says so =.= .. cause.. i mind fucked mata and john LOL!..

damn funny wat happened in the bus.. lucky ricky and zuzu wasnt thr.. WAHAHHAHA..

whole day~~~ out .. mostly in arcade.. watchin them play.. i jux stone.. cause no money.. XD

ok tats bout it.. oh

WE WONT GET TO SEE JERRY TILL NEXT MONTH T_T..

cause our art class ended liaoz haiz..

and ricky goin Over'Beach' XD...

so.. haf to wait till he's back then we join back the class wahahahaa

sads eh.. well seems like its time for rest hehe

Byes..

GodBless! =D

2009-03-19T13:34:00.002+08:00

alrites~~ back for another short post.. XD

woooo~ training is hard...

my stamina is gettin worst sia..

Run 2.4km and my timing is 14 mins ... sian..

then go gym work out.. bloody now whole arm and body aching ..

lol~.. sibei jialat =.=

But bo bian!

FOR IIT I MUST DO IT!!!!!
FOR THE BROTHERHOOD!

I Will not let them down XD!

so gonna Train everyday...=D

Sry guys but i'll have no time to go out le =/ ..

cause gotta build up my stamina within a month .. must train like siao XD

so yea Flying off to outer space liaoz =.= lol

Oh yea last thing

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!!!!!!!!!

Sry cant have presents for ya~

And its sad tat i cant celebrate ur bday wif u.. =/

Anw.. Hope u have a great day k!

Loves ya!

2009-03-17T23:01:00.002+08:00

HAHAHHAHA Leong suxs!

His Blog is Dead Nubber!...

STOP WOW-ING LAH!

MY DOTA GOIN TRASH U LIAO ! lol

sry no 1v1~ i suxs at 1v1 XD

anw.. today happy!

so many good stuffs happening! =D

MEL got her hp! but temporary nia =[

Aiya Better than nthiN! lol..

then Im in For Dragonboat For week 0 BABY! WEEEEEEEE

Training starts tomorrow! BIOX HUAT ARH!!!! lol!

BrotherHood Of Tp! Love u guys! lol!.. im not gay! i mean i like to be wif u guys! loL!

then... Made a small buisness wahahaha

Dota~~~ trashed a bunch of so called pros~ lol

ok tats it XD

Played bball today! Fun sia~ haha

2009-03-16T21:38:00.002+08:00

OK lah~ back to blog...

ehhh~~~ TOO MANY THINGS TO BLOG LAH!!!!! HAHAHHAA

Wat day isit today? ...

hmmm.... Oh its monday? Rite? XD

*meowww*.. oh ok thks =p..

wow.. ok gotta blog wat happen the past week? hmm *meow* ahh.. ok lo~

Last monday and tues.. went for chalet!

It was C203 Chalet XD.. Glad tat quite a number of us were thr =D

terence is the BBQ master =p

Im the Fire Starter =.=.. haha BURN bABY BURN! =p..

ok.. monday we went to meet up at ehub at 3 bah~ rite? or isit 1.. haha cant remem..

then we watched kung fu chef XD.. damn funny! lol!

Cause its Like ...zzz WTF IS THIS KINDA ENDING!!!!!

haha. but still ok lah~ KAI SHUI BAI CAI! XD

ok basically its a so called traditional dish =.= .. dunno from some village blah blah..

then the judge tat ate the food said... woooow... YOU BAI CAI de Wei DAO!!!! LOL!..

MUOFUO!!!! BAI CAI OF COURSE GOT BAI CAI DE TASTE LAH!!! LOL!...

haha .. after the movie.. we went to chalet... Had bbq and played Ps2 XD.. me and nick played out guitars for awhile ..

the first night.. hmm we didnt sleep much XD.. me and zuzu got no place to sleep so we sleep on the floor XD haha.

Its quite nice though.. quite cooling.. =D

before tat we went to mac to drink coffee XD.. i think i got lzh virus..

drink coffee == sleep =p..

coffee cant keep me awake now .. dunno y~ lol~.. perhaps i should try the bitter one..

BUT I HATE BITTER STUFF RAWR!!! haha

still <3 Iced Latte Best! XD

ok.. then 2nd mornin~ .. me and zuzu was the first to wake up.. but im the Really First one.. cause cant really sleep =x haha..

so washed my face.. and went for a bath.. mornin Bath!!! wa so shuang ~ lol!..

after my bath.. came out and see everyone still sleepin..

so went out wif my guitar to play... i sat on the table and played the guitar..

sang quietly.. cause my voice aint tat good lah~ haha. got ppl see also..

so dun wan too loud.. XD.. played for bout an hour or so.. renqi called me.. say he commin le..

since he haven rch so i cont playing.. then zuzu came out.. join me to bask under the mornin sun XD so nice haha

then renqi arrived bout half an hour later =p..

we sat outside for awhile to play the guitar before he went in and play SoulCaliber wif zuzu XD..

i cont stayin outside till it was like too hot.. then went in to join them XD

by this time most of them were awake le.. so we waited for the rest to come back since they went home to sleep hahahaha.

we had our lunch~ then went back to bbq.. i was the fire starter...soooo...

i was the first to be back .. me, zu and renqi made the fire.. WOW!!! ok we started the fire..

lol..

actually i did the placing of the charcoals and started the fire.. the 2 of them are the wind summoners! =p haha..

so yea we started the fire and waited for the rest to come back..

After they came back we started having our bbq!

of course only afew of us are cookin .. the rest are in the chalet playin ps2 ~ XD

we ate and ate and had fun.. blah blah =.=...

the send jem home.. on the way saw arthur wif his gf... LOL!.. he's face was like HOLY SHIT! when he saw us LOL!.. damn funny XD

after that bout 10+pm me and renqi and leong went home.. i and qi took 89 while that NOOB went dunno whr to get LOST! lol..

ok rch home packed some stuff cause wed goin for camp so yea packed my stuff and went to sleep..

So came WED!!!! OMG ITS OLTC!!!! LOL!.. damn excited.. but sian cause nv really had much sleep XD

i packed all my stuff le then head out to SCH =D !!!!

when i rch.. i was like damn blur.. cause only got me waiting.. i thought i waas late or smthing.. haha or i missed the camp or i saw the wrong date XD..

but i say berlinda making the registration counter.. so i jux sat back and waited for ppl...

after awhile... More and more came.. haha~ i dun even know all of them

i was like ok.... im gonna be anti social and jux sleep lol!..

then saw Ah Soon! haha.. we talked awhile and he slept on the bench.. then simin came and sat beside me.. haha.. then jem came.. he was like WTF! lol!.. and sit on my right =.= ..

haha. we talked awhile and i went back to hibernation mode haha..

after they said the counters are ready.. then we went for registration.. and got the iitsc shirt..

then i went in to the lec hall.. i went in .. lookin ard.. dunno whr to sit..

I AM IN THE GROUP CALLED BIOX!!! WOOOOOO BIOX FTW!!!! haha

BIOX™! haha

ok..i went in and sat down.. Simin and me SAME GROUP AGAIN! lol!.. we go everywhr also same group one == .. haha ..

jem dun sad lol!..

so other than her... i dunno any one else..

everyone was quiet before diz came and broke silence LOL!

yea so he came in introed himself.. then we started introducing ourselves.. beside me was BOON!.. not noob .. his name is boon! lol.. cool guy! haha

then Avril.. infront of him~ she's tall .. nothin to say~ lol...

after tat more came i shall not say all of their names.. basically we started talking.. then faranah came.. sat beside me..

after that our FA came.. It was CHin Soon =D I support u! LOl!...

we went out to have our ice breaker after a short briefing.. XD

during ice breaker.. ok.. we introed ourselves... blah blah..

then Chin came up wif this GREAT idea.. he wan each of us to say our name and then say the names of the others before the him..

apparently... i was sitting beside boon.. and.. boon is sitting beside him~~~~~

=.=... he called boon to start..

and we sat in a circle.. bout 15 people.. sooooooo

i AM THE LAST ONE! lol!...

GG... i thought i was dead XD

haha

i had to remem all their names and the say out.. wa stress sia..

after intros.. we played the TITITI game =.= .. haha damn fun XD..

then played pepsi cola... haha..

it was spencer's idea.. i got knocked out by him~~~~ =.= haha.

goin on.. after ice breaker... we went to play the dry stations.. haha

quite fun XD.. we're high.. =p..

BioX Is The OWnz!~XD

We made our own cheers and a play~~~ for the 2nd day~

evenin came.. we had our dinner.. er... ok lah the food not bad XD

i find tat we're quite bonded as even though its jux the first day~ we talked quite alot haha.. thomas.. =.= .. funny Lol!

okok.. then nite came. we had our debrief.. and then time for sleepin.. well... we kinda cant sleep XD..

the bloody room was HOT as zzzz lol..

so me jem and a couple of peeps from 204 and 205 went to the outside games lab the labs there and sleep haha.. damn cold.. lol~.. at first we cant sleep.. so me and.. who is tat.. i cant remem his name =X sry dun kill me! haha..

we went to get cup noodles.. Sadly pei fen cant have hers Cause we no money to buy XD hahaha

=X

we went back to the lab thr.. and see the rest playin asshole dai di! lol!..

damn funny XD.

bloody john was emo-ing and readin his book~ lol!..

so yea.. they played till like 3 or 4 am..

then we all decided to sleep.. zzz

sleep halfway got alot of ppl run here run thr.. wth sia haha

so noisy and i scared they step on my specs or ME! lol!...

next day~~~ DAY 2!

Wake up~ wash up~ blah blah.. went to eat breakfast..

chin soon was 'Busy' so he didnt join us..

and our 2nd FA came.. EUNICE!!!! WEEEEE!!!

haha

ok so we had our 'amazing race'

we went to pasir ris park at bout noon~~~ the bus was uber crowed wif our 'troops' XD

so yea.. our team was the fastest! BIOX!!!!!

haha

but sadly it rained T_T

or we would own the others by leagues haha =X

anw .. went back to tp... blah blah

then dinner.. talk talk.. went back to LT..

then go out perform.. hahaha

Too much to say~~

so gonna cut things short

Sleep~ LOL!

3rd day! Wet GAMES! =D

then final collison! hahaha

after tat~~~ then overall score..

we lost by abit sadly haha

then end le ard 8+

went to eat wif 2 guys~~~

haha~~ my memory bad~ dun blame me >< haha

then went home.. unpack stuff.. play dota.. LOL!

SAt.. mornin went to art class...

afternoon.. dunno do wat forget liao~~ lol...

Sunday~ went our watch movie..

Then today~~ WHOLE DAY COM! lol!

ok time to go Bye Meow!

2009-03-10T23:18:00.001+08:00

JUST BACK TO SAY....

I'VE BEEN MIND FUCKED BY 'THE PRESTIDGE'!!!!

LOL!.. i'll update on the info after my camp XD haha

Have fun guys heee

2009-03-08T22:48:00.003+08:00

Haiz.... tired as usual...

Quite crappy day ... don't know wat else thr is to explain..

got pissed in the afternoon for doin NTHIN~ ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Will go to tat later..

Then 6+ go to bb court to find my frens to play..

cause The court near my house got alot of people and we dun like to play wif them...

so we decided to go to anchorvale cc to play =D

had fun thr.. haha my basketball skills haven rise or fall since the last time ==..

Made some mistakes here and thr.. damn Pai seh.. cause pass to wrong person..

Keep on change team mate arh.. then hungry.. abit seh diao haha

Then.. yea.. after bball about 930pm

rch kou fu bout 10pm.. have my dinner of course..

haha... had a small chat wif JK.. talked bout our life stuffs haha..

man talk.. =p..

so yea.. kinda happy..

then Came back home.. didnt even say a word till now..

see my dad face nia sian.. dun even feel like speakin..

Not like tat i DUN like him..

i jux dun feel like talkin to him.. bloody hell everytime he speaks ..

It feels like he is INSULTING ME PLEASE!

okok back to the story of wat happened in the afternoon

PLEASE IM DAMN PISSED AT IT!

Cause I got Shot For No reason And He SAYS NO I DIDNT!

WHAT THE FUCK PLEASE!

I dun wanna use the 'F' Word.. But seRiously! WTF!

ok I did Nothin.. I am jux feedin My hamster.. I changed the bedding and stuffs.. TOTALLY NOTHIN TO OFFEND HIM OK! NOTHING!

im happy cause i changed the beddin for my hammies and they look happy.

so i turned in to the livin room and stand by the dinin table to watch a variety show.

then ok now start of conversation.. he say

HEY DID U READ THE NEWS PAPER?..

Theres a GUY that KILLED SOMEONE BECAUSE HE PLAYED TOO MUCH GAME and the game should be 'WOW' since normal warcraft have nothin for ppl to have a reason to kill another person.

SO... continuing.. he said.. ARE U LIKE THAT?.. I was like WTF! and i didnt bother to reply him.. cause i dont wanna quarrel .. i HELD back.. and cont watchin the show

Bloody hell.. he continued OI OI OI! i was like OK WTF U WANT! of course i didnt say wtf... i jux said WHAT?!.. and i look at him STRAIGHT IN THE EYE..

OK.. when u call someone.. and the person don't wanna reply purposely means.. he/she dont wan to quarrel or speak with u. cause obvious reason.. Are u TRYIN TO FUCKIN HELL SAY TAT I AM GONNA DO OR I ALREADY DID TAT? Or are u tryin to accuse me of something?

People tat know me.. U think i am those that will run ard killin people? I Cant even slap a person in the FACE U EXPECT ME TO KILL SOMEONE?

I can Say TRUELY... I TRUST MY FRENS MORE THAN I TRUST MY FAMILY.

Ok now back to after i said WHAT?!.. he said Did u Hear what i jux said.. are u a game addict? .. U HAVE GAME VIOLENCE?ARE U THE SAME AS HIM? WTF! Seriously WTF!..

Now im even more pissed.. so i said back in a louder voice.. NO! Of course Not. Are U tryin to say im like Him.. Do u think I would be tat brainless?.. Yes I play Games.. I admit im abit of a game addict.. BUT NO I HAVE NO FREAKIN GAMING VIOLENCE!

then he said.. Later u play the game somemore then u go kill people.. HACK! KNN!. then i say.. U'LL BE THE FIRST ONE I KILL!.. i know its not a right thign to say.. but BUT BUT! u pushed me to my Limits DAmn it. I have Never Wanted to say it. U THINK SAYING IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.? GOD! Damn it cAn..

Then the quarrel continued.. and i was fuckin pissed till i dont wan to say a word ANYMORE CAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL MORE WORST JUX TO QUARREL WIF U!

U KEEP ON SAYIN I SHOW NO RESPECT! FUCK! THERES A LIMIT TO WHR I CAN HOLD MY ANGER OK! U FUCKIN SHOT ME AND U FUCKING DENIED IT STRAIGHT IN MY FACE!

I shouted back.. i Held On to My own PRIDE... I live by My Rules.. U DONT KNOW ME SO FUCKIN SHUT THE HELL UP! U are My Parents! damn it.. and u fuckin dont trust me at all? JUX BECAUSE I PLAY GAMES WHEN IM FREE?

And BECAUSE I PLAY GAMES TATS Y I HAVE GAMING VIOLENCE? DAMN U! Then What bout those other people Thats playin games Way More and Worst then me .. WOULDN't THERE BE A FUCKIN MASSACRE By now?

Think Before u talk god damn it. u can joke.. we can talk properly.. blah blah.. but dun poke into peoples uneasy points.. if u say it in a different way .. like how my frens and i communicate.. i would not even raise my voice at u and we WOULDnt have quarreled.

U can say u dun feel like u are accusing me .. But i dun feel tat way.. Cause in my eyes.. I can feel tat u are tryin to Hurt me in everyway with ur every Word.

I dun feel good.. thats y i'd hit back.. i have to defend myself.. I am no senseless piece of shit that u can jux manupilate and kick ard.. no.. I have my own mind.. i have my Pride.. I Know wat i am.. i know wat to do and wat not to do..

Hell i think i even suffered more than u suffered ur whole life. Gettin beat up is jux physical pain.. Have u ever been Mentally.. hurt?

U make me hard to talk to u.. Infact whens the last time we ever had a proper talk for hours... NO? maybe when i was a kid.. when im brainless and all this shit..?

stop tryin to think that i haf no brains.. I know i am not an adult.. but my mind is more than jux an adult.. i think deep. I think of possible reasons.. ways..

I make hard decisions.. I suffer Mental attacks.. Have u?

IF no.. stop tryin to accuse me of something that i am not and tryin to make urself sound RITE CAUSE U ARE MY DAD?

U dont know me.. Sometimes i dun even know u. I tried to understand and know u..

But u gave me the chance to let me put tat trust in u..? when u dun even put ur trust in me?

i speak my mind and thoughts to my frens.. but never to u.. Both of u.. Know y? cause i dun feel save to even talk to u..

I had suffer more hardship...i counsel myself.. i too seek others for answers.. but not u.. NEVER.. cause i know.. U'll find the fault in me in watever i say.

how can we ever talk like this? HOW?..

I wan to be like other people.. Have a good relationship wif thier parents..

Haven u Noticed that im THAT DAMN QUIET... i had Never really spoken in the house other than laugh at The TV?.

I trust mom more than u.. cause she never really accuse me of anything. she Does most of the stuffs for me.. she helps me.

haiz.. i dun wanna say anymore..

jux hope for things to change..

God Bless!

2009-03-07T19:27:00.002+08:00

Ok.. back for another short post i suppose.. hehe

Have been out everyday~~~ rawr!

Im tired.. seriously ... needa take a good break one day~

well doesnt seem like its gonna happen.. haha

Tmr.. well maybe gonna play bball..

then next week.. whole week out. cause mon and tues will be at chalet.

then wed to fri camp.. haiz..

gonna be deadly.. wonder how many days of sleep am i gonna miss haha

wont beable to spend time wif u... peeps and online frens >< haha

no msn duh~~~ sian

NO DOTA~ well can live wif it.. its not like its a MUST play anw.. sometimes jux makes people go mad cause ppl online drives others mad by being noob..

And i cant practice my guitar or piano.. which is quite sad.. cause im still tryin to perfect them.

Still tryin to find the right chords and notes to compose my song ..

tiring and stress sia.. haha

Really need a break off one day.. sleep 24h.. best XD

having panda eyes now.. can see it obviously... no hiding to it argh..

I look like a panda cat.. meow~

New species XD .. well.. still waiting for the jamming sessions haha.

Really enjoyed the small jamming sessions wif 'Ivon' and Arthur =D

though I jux joined in .. but its cool =]

art art art.. still wondering how to draw a new monster.. argh .. fan nao arh!

i feel Tired.. wan sleep .. but cant sleep..

Wondering wats my mind doin..

everytime my eyes is closed.. i see somethings.. perhaps.. memories..

Sayin .. i miss you ..

Tellin.. Whr are you..

Showin.. Tears..

Thinkin.. who am i..

Wondering.. what have i been doin..

Whisperin.. ur name..

How i wished u would hear my voice..

Be right here with me..

Feel ur warmth..

Is tat all in my mind..

What have i to do..

What must i do..

What was spoken...

What was told..

Am i giving myself a reason..

Or

Am i tryin to escape from reality..

What is it thats Keepin me alive..

What is it that keeps me from fallin..

Isit u? or isit them.. perhaps even all..

Or my dreams..

Listen to songs.. Feel the mood..

Relate to them.. and Soon realise that tears are forming..

Why is tat so.. Is the past so hard to let go of..

Maybe yes maybe no..

I cant tell too.. cause sometimes they jux come back..

i wanted to speak.. but was Tongue Tied..

Words were Never spoken..

Actions tried but fails to show.

Heart Desires to..

Bt breaks and hurts when i have no courage to get things done, spoken, shown.

Soul Hopes for..

But frequently dashed by hesitation..

Its all in the mind.. and Heart..

A fear tat i have yet to conquer..

Cause i dont know wat it is...

Givin myself reasons to escape it make the fear grow even more..

I cant face it.. Not alone..

Maybe it'll be resolved one day..

and i hope it'll be soon..

Livin in fear is not wat i wan..

Especially a fear which i dont even know wat it is.. like an unknown enemy.

Watever it is though.. my love for u and all will never be broken.

God Bless~

2009-03-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

Rawr! lol!... ok.. today day day day ........

er... ok got some blisters on my foot =.= ... both my feet...

seriously.. pain >< hahaha... really unbearable can...
super pain XD...

i wonder how im gonna walk..

3 blisters on each foot. one is bleeding within ROAR!

its red 0.0...

pain Lah! hahahhaa...

ok a way to be eeeeeemo? hurt urself..XD

not by sliting ur own wrist.. or doin somthin stupid..

eh.. play basketball bare footed =.= LOL!...

IT HURTS!!! seriously lOL!...

Being Emotic... pain is enjoyable =X ok isit? haha dun care...

maybe im a sadist! roar!

CAUSE JIE CHEAT ME FEELING! LOL!... Meow!

><

Say no BF then suddenly pop out one roar!

intro to me also dun wan.. I wan play bball with him de lei!.. Like tat lo!...

Got Bf liao dun wan share! MEooooWwwww..~~~ haha

XD

I go Find My DEAR liao lah! dun care u liao =p...

Saturday FTW! lol!...

2009-03-01T13:48:00.002+08:00

Blog Blog Blog Blog~~~~

Updates~ == No Updates LOL!

Lets Talk bout Emo! =D

Jerry WANS ME TO HAVE A GF BEFORE HE STARTS TO TURN THE CLASS INTO A HOW TO PAO GIRLS LESSON =.= ... TAT INCLUDES (RICKY AND LEWIS) LOL!....

Muahahhahaha

So lets prepare to get Enlightened =.= ... lol!..

Crazy as it is.. this world is goin mad? ... haha~ relationships roar! so troublesome.. sianz.. Why Why Why~ cause... people all ard are lookin for nice lookin personals. maybe wif great qualities, perhaps event special talents.. rawr~

For me.. Jux a practical normal guy who does not have much of any talent.. great at being alone. can travel ard.. but doesnt know the streets well. zzzz... this aint gonna take me anywhr either..

Guys who are way better than me are all along the streets.. im like the last guy on earth a girl would choose? haha. well.. alrdy said emo rite?? haha.

so.. RICKY IS BETTER THAN ME CAUSE HE CAN TALK MORE! wahahahhaha. I am those quiet quiet .. do nthin if ppl nv make move kind.. unless im really argh.. into jux do it mode then i'll jux do watever it is first. NIKE! Just Do It! =D

Hamsters and gettin in and outta my life.. must take care of them seriously is not really an easy task. and cause i've got a small phobia of them since small when i was bitten by a damn ferocious female. my finger really bled alot so yet.. naturally fear sets in when i tries to take them out jux to carry them or play with them..

Still my life aint as bad lah~ considering stories of others. mine is considered medicore life.. still live-able.. There are lots of others who's lives are jux way off the road.. not considering them to have some things tats not perfect here or thr..its how they were born to be. no one can change tat.. but people ard them starts to treat them like some outcasts tats even worst than how i've been treated.

I dun know y.. perhaps i aint like tat.. bullying ppl aint really my trait. Thats the prob wif sec sch i guess.. its like a massive influence.. when one person hates you. others follow suit.. and in the end.. u have a whole class against u. Thkfully...things change after sometime for me.. but not for my poor fren =/ .. things are still not goin well for her.. and family probs are also givin her loads of stress.. haiz .. tats life eh? ..

nah i dun think so.. Life is wat i call.. u are able to enjoy urself nomatter wat. In bad or good times. tats life.. in life i also believe in this thing called karma.. so i prefer not really doin bad things.. maybe in jux being supersitious..but hack tat.. being good to people also makes u happy rite.. atleast u see the smiles on the person..that too makes u smile..

Some people jux dun understand the feeling of being humiliated, isolated, framed and so on.. thats y they still do those to people.. how cocky.. i jux wish they would be treated the same way.. so they would treat others better..

no one is made perfect.. and people choose to be perfect. yes in a way. y not!. but no one can be perfect if no one gives them a chance to be perfect or tries to be perfect ALONE. tats not how things works.. we need each other. and i choose to be the one to help everyone.. but times comes when i get really fustrated cause im stuck in the middle of alot of things. whr everything comes to me and i have to make difficult choices..

I cant say Yes to everything.. cause i can only help a few at a time. I have to denie others. and when ppl keep persisting i'll jux start scoldin.. so sry if i have ever scolded u. cause im really stressed in my head. I have learnt to be bad.. cause i cant be good all the time. being bad at times can sometime change a person. learn tat one cannot rely on one forever.. tats wat i've learnt. so i choose to use everyone as a support in return i try to support them as well.

I guess so much as.. well.. I'll pray for those in need. who need my prayers for them ask me.. and i will pray for u. dun be afraid. Cause i know god will help u in some ways. i am not god myself. and i've not really been to church. but i believe he will make a difference in ur life. =]

Goodluck Yo!

2009-02-17T23:28:00.002+08:00

Exams Exams Exams! HOLD ON KIBA!~ Only Till Next Mon! haha! ok I SHALL DO IT ^^! well, i've got inspired by NODAME CANTABILE to play better music and songs! haha. And its so touchin too~ awww.. CHIAKI!!!! so shuai! and cool! and talented! Nodame! so wierd, so cute and funny! damn talented too! haha. well. i really enjoyed this drama..

really made me look at how music is really made.. the feel~ the way~ im inspired to make music! haha. maybe im gonna try creating a piece durin the holidays haha. also.. love in this drama.. aww so nice hehe. although in a funny way.. haha. i love it! XD Its sweet, and cool =D..

Love in this drama is warmth and nice .. how i wish i could have this kinda feel~ haha. their music also touched my heart! such nice pieces of music.. y hadnt i heard of them before! haiz.. gotta start findin classical pieces to listen to.. orchestra music FTW! haha.

thought i never thought of being in a orchestra.. but it seems nice too. i might not have much talent in anything.. but i do love to play in a orchestra or a band haha. its cool and amazing!

alrites jux write till here.. nthin much to update anw.. haha. other than findin my money getting drained like water from FOOD! lol...

2009-02-15T15:17:00.003+08:00

Weee.. finally .. i think i wont haf to retake! =D.. thks ren QI i owe u loads man! .. im gonna work hard for next sem! i wont let u guys down =].. i'll definately pass tmr de lab test! hehe =D

Anw.. yesterday was valentines day~ awww so sad we aint haf any valentine.. =.= lol.. well atleast we still had fun XD. haha. We had our Singles Nite! =p. well wats so bad bout single anw. hehe. its nice.. so free. so cool~ haha.

well. its a nice day off.. i bought my neko family XD!!!! though thr are still afew tat i haven collected.. but im gonna buy them all! haha. one looks like a girl de bag.. dunno wan buy anot sia.. ><.. headache. LOL!.. i shall start plannin on my holidays.. gonna perfect my piano in these days.. hehe ok.. off i go byesss

2009-02-14T01:11:00.005+08:00

Also.. other than tat post.. i have this song tat im currently stuck wif.. title is 爱你. dunno y i like this song.. perhaps of the rythm bah.. some parts of the lyrics too..

爱你 - 袁嘉乐

星期天我坐在咖啡店的窗边
看着她手牵手走到我面前说
我对你已没感觉

你房间他的相片
只留下一种回忆不能说谁的错
我知道我很丑这句话让我好伤
难道所有情侣都是美好那我又怎样
就算有一天我真的走了
我看了看了你心也会伤

我真的想爱你
大声说我真爱你
虽然是牵着别人的手
我也不会在意
想一次一次的抱你
把你拥入我怀里
不管以后会怎么样
我会还是一样
一样的想着你

你房间他的相片
只留下一种回忆不能说谁的错
我知道我很丑这句话让我好伤
难道所有情侣都是美好那我又怎样
就算有一天我真的走了
我看了看了你心也会伤

我真的想爱你
大声说我真爱你
虽然是牵着别人的手
我也不会在意
想一次一次的抱你
把你拥入我怀里
不管以后会怎么样
我会还是一样
一样的想着你

我真的想爱你
大声说我真爱你
虽然是牵着别人的手
我也不会在意
想一次一次的抱你
把你拥入我怀里
不管以后会怎么样
我会还是一样
一样的想着你

想着你~~

2009-02-14T00:34:00.003+08:00

Ok~ back to do a post again..Damn sad.. nothin emo to posts about =.= haiz.. haha.. XD.. cause nothin emo to post about tats y the post is so damn freakin short can.!!! ><.. ok this are all extra stuffs tat u guys are readin to make the post longer =p waahhahahhaha. loL~..

Well, today is the day whr ppl are free from everything.. while they're free.. im still stuck wif the upcommin lab retest and exams commin in 2 weeks.. hope i can pass my lab test this round.. hmmm.. maybe im gonna redo my code again.. and give on sunday... unless i cant solve tat freakin linka error.. im jux gonna give up and pass it in =.= stupid lo~ .. im gonna retake the sub cause of this.. haiz.. gonna miss u guys man T_T

I KNOW ITS MY FAULT LAH! OK!... I suck! AND FIRST OF ALL CAUSE I GOT NO GOD DAMN KNOWLEDGE IN PROGRAMMING AT ALL AND IM NOT EVEN REALLY TAT INTERESTED IN DOIN PROGRAMMIN =.=....tats y i screwed up ... so fucked up can.. i am freakin pissed off.. and ricky.. thks for givin up on me ^^ cause i know im beyond hopelike.. nthin u can do to save me.. im like a total retard and noob by takin and doin this programmin. whr i dun even remem all the freakin basics.. i tried to understand by readin through the slides and tryin them.. but i fuckin hell dunno how to implement them in..

Thks to my stupid brain.. i cant get a shit in.. and im in this shit cause im shit.. i can do nthin rite.. other than tryin to do smthin nt related to my sub/course.. i can do any other things. i can jux go be a god damn counsellor or even a photographer.. cant the world jux let me do smthin tat im good in instead of smthin im really bad in?... its like really wtf..

ok nvm bout tat.. if i am given a chance.. i would rather quit studyin in sg now and go Aus to study again for 5 years in the vet course.. at least i am confident i can excel in tat way.. farkin bad choice i've made isnt it..

And im really sry for the troubles i've caused u guys.. srsly.. i am fuckin useless.. i know ok.. i cant do anythin other than give u guys trouble.. its nthin more than more headache for u guys.. wat good am i for.. nthin... i cant even do or make my program rite.. i cant even help LZH in doin gmaps.. WTF.. im freakin useless.. and worst my c++ is so bad.. pls.. i thks u guys for puttin ur efforts to try to teach me.. its my pathetic brain and self tat cant take in all these things.. im so sry~

This sem might be the last sem i'd ever be wif u guys.. haiz.. i didnt wan this to happen... bt its jux too much for me.. even if i started early.. i cant really do much.. cause my foundation is not really thr. ok i shouldnt be blame-ing anything other than myself.. im so fucked up.. im so pathetic.. i should really perish now.. thrs nthin i can do bt create more trouble.. i cant save myself.. no one can save me. Even if i am to perish.. im sure no one would know and even shed a tear for me.. tats how pathetic i am.. for my existence is jux like another pest in this world...no one would ever care about my life or death.. Im invisible even to the naked eye.. will i ever be regconised as a person or will i stay as jux a random entity forever that appears in and out of human eyes.

enough of this.. i had it.. i really wanna leave this world.. but is thr any other place for me to go.. haiz.. maybe off to some barren lands.. or a place whr no one have ever been to and live alone..

Today had a small chat wif JK.. i found out smthin.. i really cant talk to girls.. its like.. i can talk to guys so much more freely than i talk to a girl. im not gonna say wat we talked about.. but.. its the same thing when i was out wif KH.. i can always chat with them for hours and never feel bored.. perhaps cause we all need alittle bit of advices or counselling.. bt.. y isit always tat in face to face chats.. i always seems to talk to guys more and open up more and feel more free compared to talkin to girls. maybe cause the guys are my good frens. we'd share the same thoughts.. we need each other as a support.. and wat are we talkin bout here.. brother hood.. though we know each other outside.. yes we're not classmates.. never was.. but this bond is thr.. better than some of my classmates..

i tried to create lots of bonds wif my classmates.. perhaps cause im more intimidated cause i feel low and useless in the class.. more like a burden to them than a help.. whereas.. outside frens.. we have nthin to compare wif each other.. we can talk our thoughts out.. since we dun know anyother frens ard our own social circle.. ok maybe some .. bt .. we can keep things between us and we wont have to be afraid of wat if him, him or her comes to know bout our things.. they wun even know who i am or who u are.. and ppl dun give a damn to random ppl..

OK lah~ .. i think ima stop here.. gonna sleep le.. haven have much sleep lately..

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TOO ALL!

Dun care bout me.. cause the more u worry bout me... the more u'll feel like im a super heavy burden that u have carried in ur life and i dun wan u to regret it.. i dun wan to leave such a bad impression in ur life either.. SRY FOR ALL THE TROUBLES I'VE CAUSED.

If its my time to go.. i'll jux take my leave.. I dun care in wat way..

2009-02-08T15:14:00.002+08:00

Alrites.. Figured i should blog abit since i cant do anything now anyway~ maybe gonna go lzh house again later.. sry dude.. trouble u so much.. go to ur house so many time le~ haha.. must haf been quite a trouble for u and ur parents haha.

Things,.. well.. have soften abit i guess.. finally, jap role play is done.. i think it should be good haha. our role play is like one of the funniest every~ other than ricky's epic ninja and time travel role play~ lol..overall well..quite successful hehe..

For oogp.. crap the lab test.. its damn super screwed.. so left with assignment 2.. gotta chiong le.. must think of how to start sia ><.. i need alot of help.. seriously.. and im gonna ask alot of questions..sry if u find me irritating or smthin.. but its really desperate times.. i must pass or im definately gone..

Went to S.O.Y.A days ago.. haha not bad quite fun.. hehe. And ricky saw this PINK HAIR.. which Drives him in a PINK HAIR frenzy.. lol~.. well gotta say.. the girl is pretty and cute.. but well.. not my type XD.. so yea.. goin on.. saw lots of nice nice cosplayers...some not so nice =.= .. and epic gothic ppl =.= .. damn scary serious..lol..

Then we saw Leonard! hahaha. he was cosplayin Bill From L4D! weee.. so nice to see him and he's funny. haha. we grouped ard some other people wif him and started fooling ard..of course.. 'acting' as if we're in L4D whr i act as chris LOL!... get TAT HUNTER OFF ME!! ROAR! hahaha. damn funny.. well pretty good day off..

Was runnin ard alot this week.. went to lzh and ricky's house to stay over to complete my Ides.. lucky it was done.. not really good but atleast still acceptable bah~ pls dun screw up >< haha.

Haven really been gettin much sleep lately cause thinkin bout loads of stuffs and assignments and homeworks.. haiz.. stress is really a real godlike prob hehe.. ricky nearly had on over drive and went mad for awhile in sch == lol~.. well cant blame him.. we're all under massive stress due to these assignments =.= .. crap .. seriously crap..

Better of.. well.. tues WE're GONNA HAVE OUR DOTA MATCH MUAHAHHAHA.. cant wait for it sia.. its my first dota competition ever.. i wanna win ><.. haha. haven really had much time to train though =/ .. but i guess it should be alrite if we give it our best shot.. Lets rock them off the world guys! HOOOH AHH! ROCK AND ROLL BABY!

Next week.. assignments due.. most stuffs and gonna be done. so yea.. after next week can rest abit.. but still got exams so gotta study .. hehe. still cant find the music i wan on piano =/ though i had a brief melody le.. but need find the right lyrics for it haiz.. haha

my second song.. wanted it to be guitar... but since i dunno how to.. then i find it on the piano instead.. now i dunno how to play the base. haiz.. roar.. T_T.. need some inspiration.. ok

tats bout it.. haf fun guys take cares..

wanted to make some emo post.. but dunno how to type lol!..

2009-02-01T23:32:00.002+08:00

WOOOO~~~~ TMR....

REMEMBER BOYS! TOmoRROW IS THE DAY! I DIE!!!! LOL!...

gg sia

2 test tmr.. im so freakin screwed can...

haiz.. wtf sia..

LAB TEST IS SO FREAKIN SCREWED FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

HAiz.... ROAR

LEONG POSTS FTW!!!!

NUMBER 1 SUPPORTER OF LEONG CAUSE SCOTTS SUXS FTW! LOL!

OK Gettin mad... Cause im gonna die anw.. hehehe

sooooo... GOOD LUCK PEEPS!...

AND God Save me ^^

I mean.. really... SAVE ME PLEASE!

ok done.. wahahahhaa only here to say ...

We are the Win!

2009-01-31T21:42:00.003+08:00

Ok .. short post... REALLY SHORT...

1. Im Gonna fail C++...

2. I Fail liao cfm Die..

3. WTF IM SO SCREWED

4. I FARKIN GOT NO TIME!

5. LAB TEST ON MONDAY DIE!!!!!

6. HP SPOIL!!!! so dun bother to sms or call me..

7. HAven Finish IDES, GMAPS, JAP SCRIPT, C++ Assignments!

8. FARKIN SCREWED

9. UBER SCREWED

10. SUICIDE TIME!

2009-01-22T15:19:00.002+08:00

Heres a song from Clay Aiken.. I not sure how many of u peeps out thr know bout him but i like his songs. this song (Measure Of A Man), goes out to all lovers and ladies out thr~ hope u like it.

Clay Aiken - Measure of a man

Lyrics:

If one day you discover him
Broken down, he's lost ev'rything
No cars, no fancy clothes
To make him who he's not
The woman at his side
Is all that he has got
Why do you ask him move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth?

(Chorus 1:)
Would he walk on water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire?
Would he give his life up
To be all he can?
Is that, is that
Is that how you measure a man?

If by chance all he had to give you
Was three words wrapped around your finger
Would that be deep enough
At the end of ev'ry day?
And how will you ever know
If a man is what he says?
Why do you ask him move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth?

(Repeat chorus 1)

(Bridge:)
He never gives up
Lets go of his dreams
His world goes around
For his one true belief
Is that how you know?
Is that what it means?

(Chorus 2:)
Would he walk on water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you?
Will he be your anchor
When the dark unfolds?
Will he always love you
The best that he knows?
Would he give his life up
To be all he can?
Is that, is that
Is that how you measure a man?

(Chorus 3:)
Would he walk on water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire?
Would he give his life up
To be all he can?
Is that, is that
Is that how you measure, oh, oh
Is that, is that
Is that how you measure a man?

2009-01-22T11:40:00.003+08:00

Haiz.... i cant go sch to even study sia =.=... zzzz..

freak Yesterday go sch nia become sick like hell... i thought mornin i was fine... maybe abit wobbly and cough.. still can take bus and walk.. no running or anything like jumping... but in bus..start feelin abit uneasy.. maybe cause hungry.. so after i got off the bus infront of sch.. i walked straight to ITAS to get the sandwich. Started eating once i got it, then went to take the lift.. somehow it taste damn wierd.. maybe cause my mouth is super dry.. even after i drank the water. i rch the 6th floor.. but i forgot whr the lab session was held.. my mind aint workin well.

i sat down on a 'bench'.. opened my bag.. and knowticed i Never bring my File!!!! =.= .. i put my time table inside the file.. so im like 'oh shit' =.=... then i smsed ricky, then sat back and continued eating.. slowly.. recieved his sms.. then cont to the classroom..

Rched the classroom, some classmates went 'wooo omg its boris... blah blah'..cause im late by like 1h...but i am totally not in the mood to even reply or do anything so just walked towards ricky grabbed a chair along the way and sat beside him.. placed my stuffs down and continued eating the 1st of the 3 pieces of bread in the 'sandwich box' tat i bought... i eat very slow rite.. then listen to teacher.. abit abit.. understand abit.. then tio headache.. by the time.. i had finished my 2nd piece.. haven touched my 3rd piece yet.. cause headache make me not feel like eating.. after headache gone then i cont eating.. finished my sandwiches.. then cont to listen to teacher.. bout 10-15mins later.. started feelin giddy for awhile.. then the lab session so called 'ended' not the class.. so the teacher wan us to do our assignment.. i wasn't feelin tat good so rested my head on the table...kept on coughing continuously...

Ricky ask im ok or not.. i jux say ok.. jux need some rest.. nick who is sitting in front knowticed tat im breathin quite heavily.. but i didnt pay much attension to it.. so i jux say its like tat de.. rest awhile should be fine.. kind of 'survived' the gmaths class.. so we proceeded to ides.. went to ides de classroom. i felt kinda abit hungry.. on normal days i sometimes will also feel like tat.. but i can hold it till nite whr either we go out eat together or go home and eat.. so i didnt really care much.. the only thing iwas worried about is the loa form.. cause class ends at 6 and the printing shop closes at bout 5.30.. so i asked ricky to go now to get the loa form before its too late.. so the both of us proceeded to the printing shop to get our loa forms.. its bout 3:15 at tat time. class jux started.. on our way back to class, i suggested tat we go ITAS for awhile cause i need to get water.. the bottle in my bag is alrdy emptied.

So i bought my bottle of water and rick bought his food... we went to take the lift up to the class room. rched the classroom.. at first i still okok can concentrate... then the cough starts taking place again.. i start to cough.. the headache comes back.. then my right lung starts to hurt abit.. the whole day i haven been breathin properly... my breathin is all heavy, short and fast.. jux like after runnin continously for hours.. by this time im alrdy runnin a fever.. bt i didnt know.. so i jux rested my head on the table while tryin to listen to wat the teacher is saying..

then i heard the teacher say we haf to finish the 'home' page by today or smthing... then i tried to pull myself together and started to do.. did abit.. and then cant stand it anylonger.. the headache and gastric pain tat started acting up is gettin all over my head and body.. i cant even lift my head up for more than 5mins.. while everyone is doin their work, im lying there like a dead man.. zuzu came to me and say "U can go home and rest.."bt i say i got no mc.. if go home cfm tio warning letter. tats y i dun wan go home.. every min in the classroom feels like days to me.. i cant look up, i cant do my work, i cant breath properly, my right lung hurts when i or burp, cough or breath too hard or too much. the gastric pain is so servere tat i cant even sit up straight..headache is making me feel giddy.. and my legs totally have no energy...

When i finally cant take it anymore.. i tell ricky to help me ask the teacher if i can go home or not.. while he go and ask.. i slowly pack my stuffs... shutdown my laptop.. haven keep them inside my bag yet cause i cant lift my bag up so i left the things on the table.. then drink some water.. then the teacher came and ask if im alrite..i say i cant breath properly and got headache.. she ask if thrs anyone tat knows of medic stuff.. nick came and check on me.. i told him how im feelin and stuffs.. the teacher thought i was havin asthma.. bt i dun haf .. its jux something wif my lungs and cough tats making me hard to breath.. anw.. she called ppl from the office to help.. then nick and zu helped me up from the chair.. at first im Ahhhhh pain pain pain.. cause of gastric i cant stand up straight or sit up straight.. then when i finally stood up, i cant even walk.. and im being carried by the both of them to the lift then to the staff room whr thrs a bed for me to rest on..

they help me bring my bag and stuffs up.. then the staff member ask me to call my mom.. i called and i cant speak properly.. and the staff wanted to speak to my mom so i passed the phone to her.. apparently my mom ask her to call my dad.. and during tat time.. nick was holdin on to a cold cold cloth tat was placed on my head.. cause im sittin up but not 90 degrees straight up lah.. he haf to hold on to it so it wont fall.. then my dad called me, askin me questions, then my bro called me.. askin me questions again.. i jux told them tat i'd be sent to changi hospital since the staff haf alrdy called an ambulance. nick had volunteered to go wif me to the hospital.. im thankful for tat.. but john chee(our CC) said tat he'll follow me instead and nick should return to class..

when the ambulance arrived, i and nick is still in the staff room, we heard the foot steps and stuffs.. so we assume the ambulance have arrived.. after bout 30sec.. we saw the medical officers come in and started putting their stuffs down and preparing the 'wheel chair'. One of the medical officers then put a 'mask' over my nose and mouth. those tat prevents the cough virus from spearding.. or flu virus.. watever it is.. the mouth mask thingys that people put durin the SARS or some shit... then they put a device on my finger tip.. i dunno wat it is.. bt i thing it is for checking the temperature.. the thing is.. my finger tips are icy cold =.=.. seriously.. damn cold.. i almost cant feel my finger tips at all..

they asked me to move over to sit on the 'wheel chair' i slowly tried to stand but still needed some help from nick.. and sat down on the wheel chair. then they pushed me to the ambulance.. along the way.. i see people looking at me.. bt i dun give a damn lah~~ haiz.. wat can i do being sick till like tat.. before goin into the ambulance.. they have to change the wheel chair into a stretcher.. then pushed it inside the ambulance and we're on our way to the hospital...

Along the way, my fingers gradually grew warmer.. and they asked me some questions. i wonder how long the trip took.. cause i was lying on the stretcher all the way and had no idea how long i've been lying thr. rch le... then see my dad.. but they had to do some check up first.. so blah blah.. check blood pressure everything.. then went out and wait to see the doc.. john chee passed my bag and stuffs to my dad and went back to sch after tat..

I had an x-ray scan of my chest and found tat i had some infection or inflammation on my right lung tats y i've been feeling pain there.. either way.. its still pain.. after goin through the checkups, the doc prescribed me some medications and mc till next week.. damn im gonna miss so much stuffs =.= haiz.. anw thks guys for being so caring for me.. especially rick, zuzu, nick, renqi and LeOnG(LOG). u guys are the best ^^.

Now im at home resting and doin nothin.. cant do any form of sports, cant excercise.. cant study much when i dun even understand much. cant eat any kind of heaty food.. jux plain food.. haiz mmy choice of food have been narrowed to only a few dishes.. sianz

Lastly, i dunno y i still care about other people's buisness when im alrdy so sick and cant takecare of myself.. i really needa knock myself up and give myself some senses.. i gotta stop making myself have more headache by poking into other people's buisness.. its jux wth... no one listens to me, no one finds meanings in my words, no one knows me.. no one knows how i feel.. i need a break, i need to rest.. tats it.. rest.. and no more problems

2009-01-19T20:15:00.004+08:00

Oh ya and not to forget...saw this in Ricky's blog =p

Pick your birth month. (Mine's April)
→ Change the font to red for anything that doesn’t apply to you.
→ Bold the five that best apply to you.

OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think.Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

Lastly, thinkin bout the past, i found out tat i made a very bad sin.. tat is i shouted vulgarities to my parents and scolds them in silence.. I dun do tat often..Now i dun even say any vulgarities to them or behind their backs.. For the past misdeeds and mistakes... IM sorry for being rebellious and scoldin bad words to mom and dad..

I'll try to replay u when i have the power to.. now im nthin more than a pathetic weakling.. again im sorry.

2009-01-19T19:09:00.003+08:00

OK.. gotta do some post before i can never type a post again.. its like hell for me to jux sit and type. the coldness tat surrounds me is like under 10 degrees.. i felt like its freezing every second even under the sun. plus the cough isnt makin anything better. infact its making my chest area or the stomuch area hurt even more.. now i can hardly take deep breaths. if i try to.. my lungs will hurt like crap and i'll cough more.

Sometimes when i am walkin.. i'll sway abit to the sides... maybe cause i aint taking in enough oxygen due to the short breathing cycle. when i breath in the air through my mouth, my whole body feels cold and shivers. Bt the breathin cycle is the same.. perhaps 1 sec more.. my breathing cycle now is like 2 sec for in and out. its like Wtf.. Also, the right side of my lungs sometimes hurt for no reason.. perhaps i breathed to hard tryin to grasp for more air.

My head and chest hurts when i cough. its like this should nt be happening.. normally only the throat hurts and tats all.. how come im hurtin so much now.. my hands are shaking, infact my whole body is shaking.. shivering damn badly.. my hands and feet feels like its got frost bite... it's go numb for no reason.. and i have to wait for it to return to normal.. normal as in still shaking.. cold, but i still can move them. the most often part that always go numb is my left hand. i've curled myself into a 'ball' "something u do when u are emo, put ur hands feet head body close together.. but i hardly felt enough warmth to warm up my body.

Having short breaths is is causing quite alot of problem for me.. i aint able to concentrate properly, i might faint anytime if my lungs suddenly fail. when i walk.. i cant walk properly, as i'll feel the stress in my chest and lose balance for a sec. Worst of all..i think my fever is back .. ><... yesterday my fever was 38.6 degrees.. i dunno today will rise to wat temperature again.. panadols aint workin liao sia... Especially today after cmsy, The lab was freakin cold.. it's like really freezing temperature.. i cant feel both of my hands and i was coughin all the way.. i really felt like a zombie.. then.. i know its not ur fault rick, cause u didnt know... u hit my 'weak or switch' spot tat started all the illness again.. now i think im havin fever again. seriously... not ur fault ricky. I did said.. tat i was gonna die of land up in the hospital.. well i think its jux a matter of time before i really end up in the hospital unless a miracle happen and my lungs is healed. i really wanna get well before chinese new year sia... i dun wanna be sick ><....

maybe its fate.. i am not able to enjoy this year de chinese new year T_T..

The Hands Together event was quite fun though.. it was quite stressful for me lah~ cause i am achin everywhere and i think i alrdy having slight fever le.

IM REALLY SORRY JUSTIN!!! REALLY!. im helping out at Hands Together and when i got home i had to rest as i was damn sick.. i cant help u wif the jap.. REALLY SORRY!

2009-01-17T19:54:00.002+08:00

Kinda crappy days came back again~~ Nthin much to update bout me actually. Other than being sick since Open House. The illness aint gettin no cured, infact its becommin worst and worst.. my cough worsened, my head starts to ache and spins sometimes, damn throat starts gettin sore, nose block aint goin away and gettin worst, running nose 24/7, feelin feverish ever since i came home today, whole body is aching, from head to toe, cant really walk properly cause of pain and headache.

haiz.. am i dieing or smthin... is my life force being taken away to some far far away place or being consumed by relentless demons from hell. Or is it being given back to mother earth to keep her alive and well.. or perhaps god jux wans to take me away. or even the Almighty devil diablo wans to pull me down to help him in his conquest of destorying every living human.

well i dunno~ jux feels damn sick, argh.. watever it is... i would still have things i wan to see and do and say before my life is taken away from me.

I cant remem wats the last day i made a post.. but .. jux to say..this week have been quite fun, especially wif my classmates and buddies.we did crazy stuffs, talked bout lots of things, met new people (for me), get to join the PERFECT art class. thks ricky for introducing it to me, now i can start to learn how to draw humans =D. Also, I am able to see true master pieces of 'monster' Arts and drawings done by a pro fantasy drawer, i cant wait for next week to check out his works of art. =D

made afew new frens i gotta say.. online and offline both, now i got more people to talk to. =] And i found out tat alot of people are suffering from flu nowadays haha. bt i dun think anyone's flu can get any worst than me. i practically feel like a dead man.. zombie walkin..

Can anything get any worst? yes! Projects are gonna due soon and im so sick now tat i cant even think properly and go get them done.. the cough is extremely annoyin as it makes me lose my concentration then i become fustrated. Oh god, can anyone help me? Im really suffering damn bad now.. if the illness gets any worst... i cfm land up in hospital.. serious.. so if i suddenly disappear from sch.. u know whr i am le.. somewhr in the hospital doin no shit and wasting my life away while gettin healed -.-

Shit lah, Tmr How to go to the Hands Together event sia ><.. sibei sian lei. i wanna help out de lei~.. hopefully i get well by tmr.. bt i think it'll be just the opposite.. =/ i really wanna go de sia.. Y DOESNT MY ILLNESS GETS CURED!. ITS NOT FAIR! well maybe its fate.. haiz.. im down alrite..

monday Cmsy Presentation.. and im in this state..WAT IS THIS!. how am i suppose to do my presentation when im so sick~ T_T.. bloody hell headache lah~

ok .. nvm. gotta say some apologies to Kris, Im not really tryin to be cold towards u. I jux need sometime away to recuperate and get my illness cured.. when i told u i was busy.. i was lying. i wasnt really busy.. i jux dun feel like talkin or doin anything. i see u talk to them.. hmm ok.. good atleast u guys are progressing smoothly. then i shall nt bother u~ im tryin to be selfish i know.. bt i really cant do anything else... maybe im tryin to escape from reality.. maybe i cant face myself anymore.. wat else can i do.. my wings are crippled. i haf fallen. now im jux a weak prey waiting for the predator to come consume me.

Im so useless now.. being struck by bolts of fire and lightening and taking numerous amount of damage for all kinds of problems.. a crossfire tat i got caught in the middle of.. im losing the war. i am gonna run out of energy soon and i am certain to fall. When Death is called upon, A new life is born. For every person that dies, a new soul is born into the world of chaos and suffering. so if i my life were to end, im giving a chance for a new soul to make a difference in the world.

Things does not always makes sense to one. bt given time and understanding.. the truth will be revealed and everyone will agree to it... perhaps.. maybe not. Who knows.. its all in the heart and mind of the human beings.. what u choose to believe and do will result in ur rise and/or fall. every step u make is like moving the chess pieces on the chess board. one wrong move and walla! u are dead.

Ok.. i dunno wat else i can type.. if i ever end up in the hospital.. will u be thr to see me? I hope so~ i Wanna Look at u and hold ur hand for ONE LAST TIME before im gone..and say smthin tat i have nv said for a long time. I LOVE YOU.

Cry's of a fallen angel,
Will anyone care?

2009-01-14T00:46:00.003+08:00

Next Blog Post~~well ok.. might be quite emotic. haha. Bt its nthin to do wif the day K~ Ricky, dun worry~ nthin bout anything today, Its a great day today ^^.. i dun wan u goin OMG OMG again~ hahaha. jux wat im thinkin bout in the morn when i was takin the bus to sch.. somehow my eyes jux starts getting teary haha~ real emo rite? ^^..

Not much of anything bt, thought of the past again.. haha. I still miss her Loads. I find tat she's the only one tat trust me more than anyone else. haiz.. so sad.. she's alrdy gone off to somewhr.. i jux hope tat we might me able to meet again.

U peeps might catch me staring into the blankness of space, the nite sky, trees, haha.. Bt during these times, my mind is occupied wif thoughts.. whether good or bad.. well doesn't matter rite.. haha. Everytime lookin at the nite sky, i'll see a bright star shining back at me. though there're others in the sky, bt they are not as obvious as tat one. often i'll close my eyes and pray to the star.. prayin for her safety, praying tat we'll have the chance to meet again, praying tat she's been doin well, and other stuffs.

sometimes, i'll pray to the moon.. hoping the beautiful aura will transmit my feelings.. i bet no one knows how it feels. haha, its kinda.. wierd isnt it.. im the only one wif this kinda feelings. of course.. tats wat makes me an outcast. a lone wolf..

Outcasts like us.. me and ricky.. we often do things differently from people.. we prefer having things in our own way and style.. how we think are different from people.. Wat we've experience are also more than wat others felt. U can say tat.. we're harderend veterans in the 'war'.. precisely.. people look at us as anti social, loners, solo players... all these skeptical thoughts of outcasts. Bt we're still human.. and we still live to serve the nation, the human race. jux like others. The only thing tat makes us different.. the pride in us.. we hold on to our pride even in the hardest and most dangerous of situations. people who abandon their pride are not even worth to live as an outcast..

Lonewolf.. Me, work and hunt as a sole warrior. though i, and the other lone wolves, needs help from others at times. we live differently from others. tats wat they dont understand. cause they never haf to go through wat we've been through. perhaps afew of the situations.. bt not all. For every lone wolf.. thrs a different pledge to them. every individual haf different prides in them.. bt the thing is they all held it strong to their hearts and never let them go. My Believe and Pride Tat stays strong in me: Do wat u can to help, Leave non in edge of falling/breaking, Protect all tats close to u, let no harm be done to ur loved ones before u are, save all that u can, think of others before thinkin of self, sacrifices are necsassary at times, not at the sacrifice of others but self, for the sake of others.. This is me.. My pride. my life..

Though there're other things tat i wan to do.. bt.. thr's jux too many things keeping me occupied and distracted tat i cant concentrate.. time for me to let things go and make time for myself.. And i'd guess my work is done.. i've patched u peeps up. so i shall be off to my world once more..

Im happy tat the both of u enjoy talkin to each other more and spending more time wif each other.. it means wat i've done haven gone in vain and the sacrifice is worth the while.. in exchange for happiness in the world, a bit of pain will nt make me fall or give up.

As i've said.. all i've ever wanted is for u to be happy. Tats my wish.. nthing will be better than to see u smile ^^. if u ever face wif problems tat u cant solve.. i'll try to help.. if u ever need a ear to hear ur complains, words or to speak ur heart.. i'll be ur ears. if u ever need a shoulder to cry on.. i'll give u mine. If anyone ever bullies u.. I'll teach them a lesson. If u ever feel unhappy/sad.. i'll try my best to give u my best smile and think of ways to cheer u up and warm up ur heart. If u ever feel cold.. I'll do my best to keep u warm..

Today isnt really much of a bad day.. Thks guys for ur jokes and funny stuffs. it really makes ones world better.. cheers to all the lovers out there. Cherish wat u have before u lose it and regret.. Cause nthing will feel worst than losing smthin/someone u really loved.

May the light shine on you~

May u find the answers that u wan to know~

Hope You'll live everyday happily~ ^^

2009-01-11T15:58:00.002+08:00

Blog Blog Blog, well, this 3 days in Open house is fun~ serious to say. its enjoyable. though thr are parts which i do feel bored. bt most of the time, cheerings keeps me occupied, happy and high. haha. i suppose this is good. but the thing is.. my throat cant take all the cheerings and stuff and ended up wif a flu. =.= haha. had abit of headache.. cough.. blah blah..

On the last day of OH, jie came to visit us.. haha. We had a hard HarD HARD time jux trying to find her =.= .. cause she plays MIA wif me and zuzu.. we called her.. she nv pick up, sms her, nv reply.. HOW TO FIND HER~~~~!~!~! lol.. zuzu got real Pissed.. and i was like ok relax.. she's probably somewhr ard here.. so lets walk ard to see.. The thing is, we nv see her before and this is the FIRST time seeing her .. =.= .. so.. the chances of us findin her.. OMG.. haha.. so we went and took a slow walk ard.. then i saw her.. PRACTICALLY saw her.. lol!.. i cant cfm.. bt i bet 90% it was her cause i agar agar know her face haha. so we're like tryin to call her to cfm.. then again she nv pick up.. =.=... then we wanted to shout.. bt wat if it ISNT her.. OMg tat would be so.. WTF and Pai seh haha. Finally, we pluck out enough courage to walk to her and then call her.. at first we call her.. she nv turn b.. act like she cant hear.. then we keep on callin.. then she giggled.. zuzu saw it and we cfmed.. so we kept callin her till she turn b LOL!..

had a short chat wif her.. and OMG.. Really OMGAWD! her replies were jux the same as in msn =.=.. haha. then we stare at her with dots and snow commin down LOL!.. cold sia.. haha. well atleast we passed her.. her b'day and christmas Present XD. hope she likes it.. wahhaha.. and THKS FOR YA HAMMIES! weeee so cute wahahhaa.

Then got hammies le.. i parted wif the rest of the guys and headed to bedok to find kris and kel.. they playin lan thr.. so i go join them. at first is wanted to go see her take the 'prize' money de...~ bt was delayed =.=.. so i missed it.. SORRY! haha. so i proceeded to the lan shop.. bloody hell the shop keeper.. sibei tao LOL!.. nvm attitude also damn bad wahahha. at least still get to play though.. we played dota and L4D.. i was like wondering.. OMG SO NOISY.. will my hammies get a heart attack? haha. luckily no =D.. yea so after playin lan~ we went home.. i took a diff bus from them cause i needa put the hammies down and let them settle after being out for so long...

ok.. then.. EMO POST TIME! wahahhaa.

Should i say it or not.. hmmm. i guess so. since i've decided not to hide any longer... and some idiot never listens to me.. its time for me to do something.

SO THIS WILL BE.. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. Where all lies and secrets will be revealed Once and for all. Everything below Is true and i swear it comes from the bottom of my heart.

The answers u wanna know.. the things i wanna say.. all will be down thr.. for all the answer lies in the eyes of the beholder. Truth will be spilled as the beholder falls to the ground.

First of all... For the Retarded i wan to slap him kick him and punch him.. bt no~~ cause i cant hit anyone unless im super angry.. the reason y i wanna do all these is because.. COME TO UR SENSES IDIOT! DID U FORGOT WAT I TOLD U!.. I expect u to be more sensible than me and more mature.. fuck u are not. didnt i told u to take it slow and easy.. dun make rash actions! and slowly get closer and learn more bout her so u guys or couple can communicate easier.. DUDe ... i dun do anything for me man! Think about it.. I DUN STAND TO GAIN ANYTHING TO HELP U GET CLOSER TO HER. infact i could jux dun tell u ANYTHING and let u get fucked by ur own emotions and retardedness.

Till this.. I Have nthin But to admit.. I LIKE HER. Yes. I LIKE HER.. From the first time i saw her. though i didn't know much at first, im jux like u. strangers to her.. bt eventually we get to know more bout each other so we became closer. Things takes Time DUDE. if u never put in the effort jux to let her be comfortable wif u and let her be more open to u, U'll forever be apart from her. Yes u can say u TRIED. haf u asked urself y it still aint workin?... cause u haven tried hard enough...

It took me some time before we eventually opened up to each other.. its hard yes.. a tough journey. Yes. I dun denie anything of it.. it all comes down to how u talk to her.. How people feel about u dun change overnite.. the trust is built slowly from the start.. jux like growin a seed to a tree.. PATIENCE IS NEEDED DUDE. if u dun understand this and keeps rushin into stuffs.. its no use and u might even kill it.. a tree/seedling will die if u put too much fertiliser thinkin it'll grow faster overnite. Wake up man!. its not like tat. Time is the essence.. Time is all u need. and slowly take one step by one step.. eventually it'll be bearing fruits. Patience DUDE.. PAtience. slowly pour ur love into growin the thing u wan most. put in effort to protect it at all times.dun let it come to being harmed or getting hurt..

These Principles DUDE. Where Are they IN ur Mind!. If u Take A relationship too easily, u'll end up hurting the opposition. Its true! Dun Take me as an idiot cause i know and felt these emotions before. I aint no stupid Know Nthin guy dude!. I think im even more experienced than u think u are. i do feel people's emotion.

Wats more than this.. U actually hurt her.. in a not purposly way. bt u still did! if i am a more violent guy.. i would haf called u out and punched u straight in the face ass.. Dun take my words for nthin.. i swore that i would protect her from harm.. i swore that i would do smthin if she gets hurt. by any means. I will stick to my promises. even if it ends up gettin me myself hurt.. i wouldnt give a damn. cause as long as she's happy.. my mind is at ease. whenever she's upset.. my mind would be clouded wif thoughts on how to make her cheer up and make her happy. i dun like to see some1 i like and love being down.. cause it affects me too. to say tat u really love her. TO WAT EXTENT DUDE!. TILL U CAN DIE FOR HER? U can swear it now and assure me but Will u do it when the real crisis comes?

For me.. Wat i say i will do.. especially for my love and life. if i ever break them i'll be in guilt forever even if the person forgives me.. Will u Be wat i BE!. yes sure u can say no~ Y should u even be like me.. u live ur own way of life.. and to say~ no matter how people see. u are way more handsome than me, smarter than me in many ways. but are u as devoted as me in your promises..? do nt make empty promises if u cant do it.. cause it'll end up hurtin the person u promised. READ ME.. ReAD MY MIND. LOOK ME IN THE EYE. Say u CAN DO IT. Say U'll takecare of her. make her happy. let her be the happiest woman on earth. If u ever break them or if i ever see u hurt her again. i'll never forgive u. U UNDERSTAND ME?

Im not sayin this out of anger. but i jux want u ALL TO KNOW THE TRUTH IN MY MIND. How much i Cared for u. I know i broke some promises.. tats y i always felt guilty in a way or 2. my happy front is to let u know that im comfortable wif wat we're now. in truth. i wan to tell u i LOVE U~ would u Be My Girlfren~ bt i never had the courage to show and say them... Tats y i feel like a loser.

I shouldn't be sayin this but.. im sorry. DUDE! SHE LIKES U, AND HOW CAN U COME UP WITH STUPID WORDS TO HURT HER U BASTARD!. U are rushin too much U IDIOT!. have u even thought of wat the other person will feel anot! I know how she feels. and it makes me feel bad too. She wans to show and say. but she aint ready yet.. Y nt jux give her sometime. wat u say really Breaks a person apart Idiot!. doin this Is like stabbin myself in my heart and killin my soul~ Y am I even Actually Typing this to let u Know tat she Likes U!. I like her~ I wan her to be Wif me. Bt I never wan her to be sad if she's wif me. If she's happy Being wif u I would gladly let her be with u cause seeing her happy is wat i wan~.

To love a person is to make and let the person be happy. Not To make her Feel sad and heart brokern. Tat y im typing this. My reason is simple. If u really like and love her... Give her a chance. Gvie her Time Dude. I cant force love. i cant force feelings. I cant say tat i love her and i wan her to love me too. NO! no such thing man~ she hav her own freedom to give her heart to whoever she loves. if the preson really love u, she'll devote herself to u and u should do the same in return if u really love her. Tats How love is Really suppose to be. Couples being together should be happy not sad. and u haven even become a couple wif her u make her sad. im really disappointed in u dude. Atleast let me haf the feel tat u'll make her the happiest person rite, and not make her sad.

Now u become emo~ WTF is wrong wif u. u are the one rushin into things. u are the one carryin the double edged sword. so u should expect things to go wrong in some way. I am hurtin myself now cause this is jux like a double edged sword. No diff! if u are ever in my place. IF u ever put urself in MY SHOES. u'll know my reasons for doin so.

LEONG! i and u .. WE both like Kris! U say u love her. I love her too. Bt her heart is nt wif me. i AINT NO TELLIN SHIT LIES. This is my Confession! This IS THe TRUTH! Now u ALL KNOW! i can hold it no longer.

I'll take the responsibilities of watever happens next. For things might turn to the ways i dun wan it to. Bt nthin is certain. Mark my words. Cause Truth is Told. No lies, no deception.

Believe me or not. its ur choice. Words i say might make no sense. cause the meanings are deeper than they are.

+For Peace, For Love+

2009-01-06T18:54:00.006+08:00

今天，不知为什么，有一种怪怪的感觉。别问我是什么，因为，我也不懂。一直在喊声叹气的我，还是找不到原因。虽然，在回家的路程我一直在想，可是，就是想不到。可能是我的心里作用吧，但我就是有一个放不下心的感觉。我有一种，很像有东西要从我的身边离去的感觉。一个，很重要的东西。

然而，我还是不懂。我也不想去想它。有一首歌，它虽然给你或她不一样的原因，感觉。但对我而言，这首歌，有些特别的意义。这首歌，对某些人虽然只是有普普通通，你一定不会想到，这首歌，对我有多么的悲伤，难过。这首歌“从开始到现在”就是有我，现在，在心里的感觉。

这首歌的前端就说到，

“你真的忘得了你的初恋情人吗”

（说真的，很难忘。她已在我脑海里，每一天，不管在哪。她终会出现在我脑海里，虽然只是一小段。但每次一想到她，我终会觉得难过。)

然后，就来了这段，

“假如有一天，你遇到了跟他长得一模一样的人，他真的就是他吗还有可能吗”

(着我不懂，我也不希望会再遇见她。虽然这不是我真正要的，但，如果再见到她，我一定会想起以前的一切。这会使我更伤心。对不起。真的，对不起。）

“这是命运的宽容还是，另一次不怀好意的玩笑”

（也许是吧，命运，没人能控制它。就算是玩笑，被伤到的人，还是我。）

“如果这最后的结局
为何我还忘不了你
时间改变了我们告别了单纯
如果重逢也无法继续失去才算是永恒
惩罚我的认真是我太过天真”

（就算是到了世界末日，你依然都会在我的脑海里。望不了你的理由，连我自己都不懂。也许，我对你的爱是永远都不变的。时间把我们之间的距离拉得越来越远，我们已不再是从前的我们。你已找到你的路，我也有了自己的路。你有给我们过一次的机会来从新开始，但我们彼此的距离已不能让我们在一起了。失去的爱，会永远地留在我心里。是我的错，我太天真了。）

“难道我就这样过我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最爱的人
为你等从一开始盼到现在
也同样落的不可能
难道爱情可以转交给别人
但命运注定留不住我爱的人
我不能我怎么会愿意承认
你是我不该爱的人”

（我一直都觉得，每个我爱的人，我都留不下来。我不想失去你，所以才选者和你做好朋友。我不想，每一次恋爱的下场都是一样。这有多伤心，难过，悲哀。我终是看到我喜欢的人和别人在一起，但我却什么都做不了。只能眼真真的看着她离开。也许，命运要我永远都找不到我最爱的人。就是因为我说不出口，所以，我才默默地把这段爱放在自己的心里，只和你做好朋友。)

“如果再见是为了再分
失去才算是永恒
一次新的记忆为何还要再生”

（我不想要所有爱情的结局都是一样，所以，我选择不再爱。失去了，就不要再追究。）

“拿什么作证
从未想过爱一个人
需要那么残忍才证明爱的深
难道爱情可以转交给别人
但命运注定留不住我爱的人
我不能我怎么会愿意承认
你是我爱错了的人”

（没有什么可以拿来真名，爱很简单。每次想去爱一个人的时候，我都要受很多很多的痛苦和悲哀。想要让你知道我真的爱你，不管受到什么苦或委屈，我都会坚持下去。虽然，我不想爱你，但我对你的感觉，是一辈子都不变的。我爱你，我也，对不起你。因为，我已决定你就是我的唯一)

爱你，一辈子都不变。

相信我。

2009-01-06T01:07:00.001+08:00

ohya.. heres the pics i took of the cat XD

2009-01-06T00:46:00.002+08:00

Ok Ok ok... wth.. today is OMFGWTFBBQ day! lol!.. went to sch with a blank mind. Was Late for oogp =.= .. well. nt really LOL!.. i was waitin for Ricky! at outside the 'lan' shop when the tables infront of me starts gettin missing XD haha. it was like.. ok. er.. 4 tables like this

---X-------X--X--X---
-------------------------
-------------------------

The X is the Tables.. I was sitting on the 2nd table... then the tables start goin missing... =.=. haha it went like this...

--- -------X--X--X---
------------------------
------------------------

Then

--- ------- --X--X---
-----------------------
-----------------------

I was like WTF! soon im gonna haf no place to Sit NUUUUUU!!! stupid ricky faster appear!

--- ------- -- --X---
-----------------------
-----------------------

Last table.. DAMN U RICKY! My bag Damn heavy i dun wan stand HERE! lol!

--- ------- -- -- ---
-----------------------
-----------------------

Argh shit.. all the tables are gone.. NOOOOOOOO! Y aint u here yet ricky! hahhaa.. then after 5mins.. saw SM and Naz, then saw CM! weeee.. and ricky came out from nowhr =.= wth hahaha. tats when we went to class and started the day..

After school.. well. me, zuzu, leong, ivan. on our lappy.. wanted to cmsk.. bloody hell all go mafia wars -,- then dota.. LOL!.. my cmsk was like WTF! omg.. stupid die.. FORGET it.. im gonna jux Anyhow bomb! Bombs FTW! hehehhee

then at bout dunno wat time.. me and zuzu left.. stupid leong left early so hack care him =.=.. we went to buy A1 bubble tea.. Fuck! the vanilla milk blend was ... argh .. crap lol!. i swear! The Next Time I EVER GONNA BUY A VANILLA MILK BLEND/Shake.. IM gonna buy it from bugis Rockery! loL!. its the BEST i've ever drank and the others all taste LIKE WTF! lol..

surprisingly.. while we were walkin our way to the 27 bus stop across ricky house.. John msged zuzu say he's (ok this is gonna sound familiar LOL) eating a lonely dinner at Tm.. =.= lol... i and zuzu was like .. OMG! LETS GO RAID HIM! lol!.. so we made our way to Tm LJS! XD.. found john there. i am damn surprised wahahhaa... but its damn nice to see him haha

we chatted for awhile then decided to go to his 'new' house, since he jux moved to tamp =.= .. to help him fix his net hahaha. we went.. holy it was Big LOl!... and he lives alone OMG! haha. wats the best.. he got 'KTV' room XD loL!.. i tuned his guitar first.. first time i tune using ear.. so sry if it aint right haha. then went on to sing one song! Chen Yi Xun - Tao Tai! lol!.. tats the only chi song in his disc lah pls =.= .. he sings canto songs >< haha..

Then we went to fix his tv.. Bloody hell... his wires all anyhow put one =.= got vid got pic no audio gg LOL!... then went b to fix his net.. which until the end of the day we still cant fix =.= haiz.. starhub suxs =X lol!.. and went home ..

hehe then here's the best part. i got off my bus stop.. i walk pass my primary sch.. then i see this cat by the fence.. i stood infront and looked at it.. then it 'meowed' and came towards me.. haha OMg its so cute PLS!!! hahaha. i patted on its head.. helped it massaged abit ard the neck and head .. stroke its body hahaha.. omg so nice to touch XD.. haha. so cute somemore.. awww i wan bring it home sia >< haha. it keep rubbing its head and body on my leg haha sooo kawaii! i played wif it like for 30 mins =].. so nice .. haha

after i left it =/ .. *sobs* hahaha. i went to prime mart.. got 2 bottles of 'SUNKISS' Orange juice =.= LOL!... and went home.. jux kinda 'finished' my cmsk.. then blog bout today haha. stupid.. seriously.. i DUN LIKE CMSK! hahaha ok done XD

2009-01-05T00:28:00.002+08:00

Hahahhaha.. ok.. eer... today 'Tried' to chiong cmsk.. bt gt owned instead and got pwned by cmsk =.= F**K CMSK... DAMN U SANDRA!!! Y Y Y Y OF ALL STUFF CALL ME DO THIS *&^^^&^*(*&(* LOL!... ok forget it..

6pm went to find kris, cause she say wan go far east..so ok. i went to shop wif her. haha. wanted to get some shirt or pants for myself.. bt didnt really see any real nice ones =.= .. and most of the time was used to help her find a dress and the shop tat she saw the dress tat she wanted to buy...

bt unfortunately.. its out of stock =/ aww hahaha. anw.. so we jux cont walkin up and dwn.. shoppin ard.. saw mason bout 3 times while walkin ard lol!.. I know u 'like' him bt spare him loL!... =X. then cont walkin, finally found a shop wif a dress tat she likes =D haha. its cheap.. lol~ seriously. i mean cheap. dress like tat atleast i thought was $40 haha. after buyin the dress.. walked ard abit.. nthin else to see. bt she's happy can liao lol!.. went to pastamania to eat our dinner.. BAKED RICE.. bt its nt fillin =.= lol!.. atleast still can consider nice lah .. i like the mocca more though =.= bt alot of coffee grains lah wth... make me choke lol!..

After eatin, we went to lan shop at paragon haha. i think is paragon. =p. went thr to play L4D haha.. bloody hell... theres one guy inside.. play L4D scream like girl. =.= .. i nearly went deaf cause the pitch was so high NB! lol.. after L4D. played a match of dota.. wahaha. ok not one.. but half lol!.. cause we left halfway XD.. well.. bnet suxs anw =.= stupid delay haha.

its cheap man.. we play like 1h+.. and its $2.. considered weekend. well cheap hahha. we walked back to douby ghuat.. then i took the train wif her b to simei.. i cont the journey to tamp as simei got no bus for me to go home T_T hahaha.. i got out of the mrt station nia.. see 27 come.. i cant even run to the bus stop lah =,= so far .. lol!.. so yea.. waited for the next bus haha.

so yea tats bout it.. rch home .. had my bath. then type this post since RICKY ALSO HAD A POST! wahahha. i must make a new post too.. hehe. i got no new year resolutions..

maybe Jux one...

Make a song using piano haha.

2009-01-03T22:41:00.003+08:00

All rite.. Back for a new post.. XD .. haha. first of all, Happy New Year Ya'll! haha. Happy 2009! Its a new year! so with it, comes a new u, a new me, and NEW THINGS! haha. I cant wait to experience all the new things tats placed infront of me. waiting for me and us to experience new stuffs.! weeeee..

Now, Back to talk bout daily stuffs... so goin back... All the way back.. to.. LAst christmas... OKOK... not so far back.. as in.. the christmas in 2008.. LOL! er.. didn't do much on tat day.. i remem i rched home and fell asleep soon after i rched home and had my bath.. i was suppose to meet kris at plaza sing at 7.00pm.. hahahaha. and retardedly... i overslept =.= lucky she called =D haha. so yea.. i went to wash up.. then change into my goin out cloths and went out.. i had slight sore throat and stuff hahaha. anw.. jux went to find her.. rched thr at bout 20:00h. finally met up wif her hahaha. gave her the presents, and she gave me a christmas card =D.. so cute hahaha, anw.. went to walk ard ps.. then went out.. outside ps thrs this.. i dunno wat crap lah~ lol.. got all this 'figurings' tat looks like the snow white stuff =.= ... watever. .lol.. she say wan to go and see so we went and took a look ard.. wanted to take some photos.. bt the lighting there was EPIC 'GOOD' lol~ the lights make the pics look wierd haha. then after tat.. brought her to play pool =.= .. my god.. haha. im actually so noob lol~. she won me >< .. LOL!.. 1 match actually haha. then after tat she went to find leong and after tat dunno wat... hahahhaa.. i went home. tats christmas alrite.. haha. ok end of this day XD

Next day... should be.. ok i dunno~.. wahahhaa.. before new year. 2 days before new year, I met up wif Lzh, balls. hahaha. we went to Lzh house to ton haha. played dota, warlocks... =.= .. lifeless lOL!.. anw its fun lah haha. then the day before new year.. me, him, balls went to ehub to meet up wif SM... (Shi Ming) ..LOL!..., nick and peifen and then we went for kbox =D .. weee so fun hahaha. i sang alot though my throat aint well XD i love it haha.. damn funny lah~ my voice aint good i know lah! =.=...

After Kbox, we went home to put our stuffs.. as we've planned to meet for countdown at downtown.. so yea.. i went home packed some stuff and went to downtown to meet up wif them. haha. i rch at bout 10 if im nt wrong haha. balls was the first to rch. so i meet up wif him first.. then shortly after lzh rch.. we proceeded to pizza hut to eat XD.. haha. wee. god i love pizza =p haha. after eatin.. nick appeared .. wahahaha. then he settled down bt sadly thr aint food lol.. then peifen and her boy fren came.. we sat down and looked at the tv.. waitin cao ge's entrance XD hahah. damn exciting sia. when he came out we clapped loL!. then we started singin.. -.- .. actually i think im the only one.. lOL!.. at bout 11:40+ bah.. kris called me say she rch le.. so i went to find her.. at first wanted to find her frens.. bt cant find due to some hp prob haha. then she followed me to find Lzh and the others.. Tmd.. in the middle got sprayed .. LOL!. damn argh sia.. they anyhow shoot still can hit my eyes =.= .. haha. so yea.. rched outside pizza whr lzh and the others was. we mingled ard.. talked abit here and thr haha. quite fun .. then came the count down wahahahha. we shouted.. lol.. after tat, sat ard for awhile.. then decided to walk to mac to find kris de fren.. omg.. u wont know how slippery the floor is lol~. damn it.. its like .. Ice LOL!.. no better... its like play.. slide kitty slide XD. haha. then we finally rched the food court in one piece =p .. and finally found her frens standin outside the food court. so me and the others walked to one side while she talks to her other frens. after awhile.. she asked if she can come along to lzh to ton. lzh said ok. weee. the usual nice guy wahahhaha. then keldon, one of her frens also came along. =D. the more the merrier XD haha. lzh is like Yes Man! lol!. ok.. then we rched LZH house~~~

Weeee the first thing we did.. lets see.. er... played big 2.. LOL!... fun sia haha. then kel say wan to show kris the hotel 626 game.. XD.. we all see before le.. so nt scary to us hahahah. she didn't really got scared at the start =/ haha, nt fun sia >< hahahah.. bt she got shocked at the last part LOL!... damn funny ... hahahhaa. she screamed lol~.. we're like laughin badly hahaha =X.. anw..after tat.. stayed in the room and watch tv.. got a little bored so decided to go buy some vodka to drink.. bt we're underage WTH! haha. at first me, kris and kel went to the esso station to see got anot .. but dun haf so we walked to elias mall to buy.. bloody hell... rch thr the uncle say under 18 cannot buy -,- so i called lzh to send some1 down lol... so our hero came.. NICK! XD... we bought 5 bottles. of course... i only drank one.. kel and kris had 2.. and i had milk lOL!... tonned through the nite... played big 2.. for dunno how many hours XD. haha. then went to mac for breakfast.. after eatin.. kel went home.. i send kris to the bus stop then she took the bus and i went b to lzh house.. took my stuffs and left wif nick..

then er.. ok yesterday.. nick came over to my house to ton .. XD hahaha. bloody hell.. i was the trainin partner sia.. he showed me the submission moves.. bt i was the victim =.= LOL!.. the whole nite and day he's been tryin to 'kill' me LOL!.. fun sia XD.. damn funny loL~... well atleast i learnt some defensive moves hahaha. and played ca.. dota, watched 2 movies in a row.. LOL!.. then at nite he left... which is today.. lol... ok tats it .. gg long post sia =.= ..

RICKY! IM SO SORRY THIS POST WILL MAKE U PAK JIAO! LOL!

2008-12-29T22:22:00.002+08:00

wahahahhaha~ Today! is A day like never before! XD wahahhaha. nothin happened actually! bt i jux feels damn light and happy! theres like nthin weighin me down or wat! i feel so nice, so free, so light, soo.... wa... cannot express! haha.

im so happy really! u know.. i've been smilin all day.. like i've jux strike lottery bt even more better than tat! this kinda happy feelin last forever! the smile on my face is always on for the whole day~ i dunno y.. XD. its so great omg.. this is the feelin of livin in a bright world wif life eh! haha. soo enjoyable, so warm, so relaxin XD..

though i haf alot of projects and assignments waitin to completed, bt i dun feel afraid or scared. cause i know, i will be able to finish them some how.. even now im still smilin XD.. im so happy! hahaha.

bt i dunno wats happened to leong though... me, zuzu and ricky.. we've been thinking.. Wat The hell got him so emo XD hahahaha. then we came out wif lots of lots of wierd conclusions XD... damn wierd though.. bt all posibilities XD.

1. Relationship 2. Lack of extreme sleep 3. com not good enough LOL! 4. Needs more company... blah blah blah.. watever!~~~ haha. er rite..

hey kristyyyy~ dun hide anythin from us k! =p.. if u still treat me as a great fren or buddy or enemy or the world's most scariest guy ever~ bt we jux wanna find out wats his prob.. if u know, do tell us k ^^

2008-12-28T16:45:00.006+08:00

errrr... ok .. forget bout the mia plan~~ no time to do it LOL!.. seriously.. wth sia haha.. bt good lah~ ... time to do hmks =.=.. its gonna be an over drive XD. haha.

well jux to say, 我已经把所有的过去，伤心，痛苦，与难过的记忆都给放下了。虽然还是有点放不下的回忆，但是，它们以不会再让我进入黑暗的世界了。也许，这是一件好事。我也不用再为过去的事而烦恼，不用再为爱情而让自己伤心。

在一天的时间里,能够让一个人作出对自己或对大家有意的事。不在黑暗世界流浪的我，已看到美丽又漂亮的世界。虽然还是独自的一个人走，但，我已很开心了。因为，我能感觉到无限的温暖，于温柔的风，慢慢的围绕着我。这种感觉很舒服，让我觉得很自由。

走在安静的公园里，看着那些小鸟，自由的飞来飞去，静静地唱着歌，好温心，好快乐。虽然还想着你，但，我只能笑一笑，望着天空，然后继续往前走。

不在让自己伤心，我也希望，你会好好地走下这段路。不要应为这段空荡爱情而让我们的距离越来越远。做不成的情人还能作朋友，对不对？=D 我会好好的过我的生活，你也一样。

2008-12-27T17:11:00.002+08:00

Weeee~~~~ 4 days! yo! lol! ok bt the sad thing is... i ONLY got 1 week to go mia =.=... nt tat i wanted to.. bt its all NO CHOICE!... its a MUST!... cause gotta chiong projects and assignments before they really crash me up down left right LOL!...no good not good... haiz... haha. though its Only 1 week.. i think its enough time for me.. im alrdy feelin better after sayin out stuffs ^^.. things will change after time hehe.. alrite.. SHORT POSTS HOR RICKY!.. DUN COMPLAIN! lol!... alrite 4 daysssss hehe Weeeeee so excited XD

2008-12-26T18:29:00.002+08:00

Oh and nt forgettin.. THks my lovess and buddiesss.. haha. this christmas though didnt really celebrate with any of u.. bt thks for ur wishes.! Kristin, Zuzu, Vanessa Nu er, xin yi, Tuna!!! =p, sakura, shan yuan... hmm still got who i cant remem X[ haiz.. haha.. anw.. thks kristin and tuna for the cards! they're pretty ^^ and xinyi for the shirt =].. nw i haf a new shirt to wear for new year wahahahah.. alrites.. tats all.. Good luck peeps! M.I.A in 5 days.. ^^

2008-12-26T17:17:00.003+08:00

This will be the last post for this year~ 2008~ lets say.. this is quite a year.. wif all the happenings ard.. its quite amazing, scary, depressing, aspiring, cool, entertainin.. well.. i didnt know wat else to say.. so ya.. good on.. dwn to my last emo post of the year... dun wanna miss my last chance to type here.For this year.. gonna be my time to go mia soon.. nt from sch but from anything else.. sch is the only thing that i cant skip other than meetin wif a mishap.. or sick.. Also..to continue.. the start of my shadow training.. the start of a new begining.. a start.. to a new me.. to kill this heart of mine nw.. so as to end all my sufferings.. to learn of a new power.. perhaps.. the native power everyone haf.. to harness this energy and make full use of it.. casting my emotions to one side.. i shall bear no burden.. i shall bear no hate, no saddness, no fear... i shall bear no memories of the past.. i shall become.. a new being.. to fulfill wat i've been set to do from when i was born. till death takes me away.. needless to say.. i'll be watching over u.. i'll help u when u need me the most.. in other times.. i'll be in the shadows.. never to show my presence... i'll be back when the time is rite.. for the outcast or the exile will be made honourable for his name and for all others of his kind. the lonewolfs.. the exile.. the outcasts.. we haf been set aside for wat other's are not able to accept us for. we haf been casted aside because of our differences.. we become exile because we are stronger than others. but no one cares.. so stick by my pride.. i shall remain in the shadows and be quiet.. the pride tat was created long ago.. when i become an outcast...when i ... turned into a lonewolf.. fendin off opponents sent forth to bring me down.. i haf become stronger.. for they haf met the strongest opponent yet.. sendin them back to whr they came from.. and leavin me alone to run.. to find a place of peace.. whr i can finally dig my grave and sleep in peace for the rest of eternity..havin thought of goin to paradise.. bt wats the use of livin forever in a world whr i am always alone.. frens.. they have their own things and others to attend to .. i haf no love .. not for me, killed my love in me.. so i wont haf to suffer any longer... i'll be able to see couples.. happy couples dwn the streets or in the park.. and feel no saddness and crys in me.. i'll beable to face frens.. wif their other half.. and i feel no shame and no jealousy.. i'll be able to answer myself y am i alone.. cause its simple.. my love is dead.. killed by my own hands.. my mind.. no longer will i be 'emo'.. no longer will relationships affect me.. for this time.. im gonna kill it for real. internal conflict within me haf been happenin for years.. and its time for i to put a stop to it.. for it haf brought me great misery and fear.. ppl say im crazy.. im mad.. im goin insane.. im suffering from depression.. i dun care.. for wat i think it maybe real. this maybe the last war i fought.. this maybe the last post i ever make.. nthin is impossible.. for i might be here again tmr and gone for the rest of the time..disappear from the face of humanity.. cause im dead.. i share no pain wif others.. i share no hurts wif others.. jux me.. seeing pain inflicted on others is as good as inflicting the pain on me.. so its jux gettin heavier and heavier.. once my love is dead i can linger no longer.. i can wonder no more.. i will haf nothin to fear about. if this is my last words.. i'd still have no courage and strength to say tat i love u~ cause it'd mean tat all this while.. u've been lookin at some1 tat take u differently from others. bt u didnt notice..cause he was nt able to show and say wat he really wans to express.. and u would be hurt. this is nt wat he wans... this is nt wat he hopes.. to the most.. he doesnt wan to lose u as a gud fren. and this too relates to others.. cause he dun wan to lose them as well.. creatin more frens are better than makin more enemies. tats y he'd rather talk things out and be frens than to fight an all out war riskin more ppl to become his enemies.. worst of all.. even the love of his life to turn her back on him. turnin him into the worst person on earth... he would feel guilty, hate, despair, regret.. all his life.. he only wans to settle down and live a peaceful life wif the one he loves.. though a lonewolf.. bt he still wans company.. bt he haven had the chance to speak.. cause he wasnt given enough courage.. though this is a selfish thought.. bt he cant face himself.. he's unsure of himself.. Everytime when a person appear and feels like a rival.. he shivers and shakes in fear.. havin the thought of losin her.. he crys within.. bt he wasnt able to do anything.. cause it'd mean makin him look like a total retard and destroyin his image.. so.. he'd rather cry and suffer himself than makin him lose the girl he like forever. and also.. he'd only wish for her happiness.. if he wasn't able to give her tat.. he wont force her to stay wif him.. instead he would tell her to leave him.. even though it hurts him more and he knows it'll hurt her too.. bt for her happiness sake.. he cant be so selfish as to let her suffer wif him~.. God bless him and all others..! May this change Be Better for him and others. Kuristos~!GodBless and Goodluck!

2008-12-24T21:41:00.003+08:00

The Days are numbered~ and so am i~ i wont live forever, neither will they. My heart haf died, bt it had been reborn. my mind haf been blasted, bt it haf been reincarnated. my soul is pierced,slashed,crippled, and it cannot be healed. everyday i live in the shadows, waitin for the opportunity to strike. Bt i haf lost my goal, my target. nw im jux a wondering soul searchin for something tat can revive me, my soul. as usual, the front of me is always the cheerful one, bt the back of me, is the one tat crys and got hurt. never am i able to speak wat i am thinkin inside of me to others.. cause the courage and confidence within haf already been shattered. yet again.. i've been hurt.. and this time.. it hurt even more. Isit such a painful thing to put it dwn and let it pass..? yes it is.. bt the fear of gettin it isnt. nt tat i dont wanna speak.. bt its a fear and barrier tat sets me apart. i dun want to lose wat i haf nw.. cause im afraid.. if i speak.. things would never be the same again.. a fear tat nt many faces. a feeling tat u nor him or her haf to face.. all bt me.. its all me.. i am my greatest enemy.. and i am losing the battle.. ppl say im goin crazy.. tats all it is.. i fear tat too.. say im too sensitive.. i change quickly. say im able to adapt.. i does.. say im able to face myself.. im not. and i never did.. i fear.. tat i never will.. i used to be able to do it.. bt since i lost u.. the courage and confidence is all gone as well.. its time for u to go.. so i bid you farewell.. the fear and pain still resides in me.. whether i like it anot.. seeing u go is not the easiest thing to let go. it never was.. and it never will be. Nw.. i thought i found a new one.. bt it turns out... tat its harder for me than i thought.. i haf neither the faith nor courage to love. and its becoming worst day by day.. the hurt is gettin deeper and deeper, never was it healed. neither did it ever started. things would be easier off if i could jux escape from myself and never think of love or anyother things again.. i could do it for all other stuffs.. i didnt care.. but for love.. it never let me escape.. and i couldnt cause it makes me weak. i wanted but i couldnt.. everyday i shiver in fear.. and i doesn't know y.. perhaps.. i fear tat u leave and never come b.. perhaps.. i fear tat the new love tat i felt would turn out to be the same endin as the one i had before.. if i spoke out. or perhaps.. its both. i dont wan to think about it.. tats y i always want to go out wif my group of buddies or brothers.. i can take my mind off and jux dun think about it.. and its when im truely happy~ cause i cant feel my heart within. everytime when im left alone.. these feelin comes back as quickly as it had left. nthin can stop them.. This christmas.. i thought i could celebrate wif u.. bt it was all nthin bt jux a wishful dream and fantasy. for the past few days i've been out.. i truely felt the warmth in my heart.. for this i thk my brothers... for i thought we drifted.. bt we're as funky and fun as before.. ^^.. nt tat i wan to be emo.. bt these emotions jux come to me without me knowing.. things tat i cant control. if i could.. i would already be the happiest man ever.. sometimes i wonder if death could stop this feel .. cause its really damn fustrating to feel like tat... nt only it brings one dwn.. but it makes one get hurt even more and carves it deeper and deeper every second.. every milli sec.. to make the hurt even greater and more painful.. as it too ... destroys the alrdy deprived coourage and confidence left. i haf to go~ i need to, i MUST go.. bt how am i to escape the clutches of these emotions.. kill myself? drown myself.. or haf someone bring the warmth back into me.. im losin this battle.. i need someone.. someone i can rely on.. could it be u.. or her..or is thr some1 else. i am afraid.. lonely christmas.. my heart cries for u.. my heart aches for every step u take.. for u are leaving further and futher away... and we drift apart.. fades into the shadows.. i am the shadow... the shadow of the past..

2008-12-11T17:31:00.002+08:00

okok~~~ knock some sense into me... haha.. Argh... Take my head out and bleach it kill it.. reborn HAHAHAHHAA. ... nvm.. Yes U are Rite Mel! i Should end it all nw And Return to the past Wahahahhahaha~ hopefully it works though LoL~.... im too emo now to listen to anything other than the wars in my brain haha... civil war ... XD. Soooo... i shall try not to be emo~ loL~... if goin b to the last time can change who i am nw... hehe y nt.. bloody hell~~~ should i shoot myself in the head and end it all and be reborned? haha... well maybe not.. cant find a gun anw.loL... Argh... where do i find a time portal sia.. fly me b in time before i even was born .. tats the best wahahhaa. maybe into my past life.. hehe. Stupid LZH!!!!! dun make me write more emos~ LOL!... 20 nt enough arh! later i cont 21 - 40 LOL!... nw also cant find the mood to write songs haha~ needa Find the Mood~~~~~~~ shit sia.. anw Thks wayne.. hehe. hope to see ya soon bro~ hahaha. LAST DAY OF TEST PPL!... LETS DIE TOGETHER! WAHAHHAA

2008-12-10T21:10:00.002+08:00

haha~ ok wanted to blog a few days b but was too lazy, tired and emo LOL~.. anw... OMG EXAMS!!!! haha.. 1 reason y i am emo... 2nd.. Oogp cfm fail! ~!~! emo... 3rd. Freakin Stressssss... Emo.... 4th... Gmaps.. haven see already know fail.. EMO... .LOL!.. 5th.. My god i feel like a failure... emo... 6th. im losing myself.. emo... 7th. sometimes i feel tat my soul jux leaves my body in the middle of nowhere... emo... 8th. Shit im gettin distracted .. emo.. 9th. Still wants to destroy the world ... emo. 10th! Y does sometimes i feel so left out.. EMO!.... 11. dude dun make me emo.. emo... LOL!... 12. my light is fading... emo... 13. shit my life is fading... emo.. 14. my love is gone.. emo... 15. i can nv find a new one... emo.. 16. i can nv express myself... emo.. 17. all girls i like likes other ppl...emo.. 18. I know i suxs..emo.. 19. I can never get wat i wans...emo.. 20!. i tio own NB!!!... emo.. LOL!.. ok.. 20 should be enough... wahhaha. emo emo emo emo emo.... nt enough... i'll jux shout BANZAI and jump over the cliff LOL!.. so wats wif the emotism.. i duno~ dun ask me >.<... maybe cause im seeing too many couples off the streets while im alone.. wahahahha. lonely AH!... omg so sian lol!.. i dunno wat to blog bout sia... other than writin emo i dunno wat else to write hehe.. ok lah.. atleast today the test quite easy.. made some stupid mistakes though.. =.= ... emo... LOL!

2008-12-05T21:19:00.002+08:00

Hi All! Im B to tell u~ Im Done Wif My 1st Song =D... Finally after some weeks.. doesn't know whr i got the inspiration to play the music.. but i jux did and happened to made this song .. so yea... im quite happy as its the first full song i've ever wrote, played on the guitar and sang. Though the music is only strummed.. cause i haven had much experience on plucking and still learnin how to play the piano. Anw.. i've finally made up my mind about the Title of the song. Its Called "Chance(To love again)". Basically this song is talkin bout 2 ppl... so yea.. me and my emotism LOL!... Another great news is tat... FINALLY THE ASSIGNMENTS ARE ALL CLEARED! WEEEEEE!... and next for the term test and then is the Break! wahahaha... i think ima be so busy durin the holidays LOL~.. alrite tats bout it.. gonna start on my 2nd song soon~ Takecares

2008-12-03T23:28:00.001+08:00

Alrite~ jux b to say~ my song will be done soon~ wahahhaa. im done wif the first 2 verse and chorus... im left wif a bridge and a new chorus and IM DONE!!!! WEEEE... my first song.. hope its good... the title of the song will be revealed soon~!!! wahahha. hope u peeps will like it! k .. haf fun guys!

2008-12-02T23:59:00.003+08:00

Hiaz...wat a tiring day~~~ was all emo-ed up for no reason. jux cause im too freakin tired. haha. and tat stupid leong go photoshop me photo and send it to ppl which made me feel even worst...Idiot.. bt watever.. i aint got any life left.. so jux get on wif my work.. atleast today still done 2 of the projects/assignments.. Ricky's sick today so he didnt come to sch.. i think he aint commin either tmr as well.. hope he gets well soon~ my cough is still nt goin down.. infact it always acts up for no reason.. guess im jux damned. For once it really...Really feels tat i am really a fucked up person~ not really bout anything.. but my life.. cause come to think of it... when was the last time someone ever MSG-ed me or msn-ed me automatically~ its like A F**Kin long time ago.. and those tat did come to talk to me.. only asked me to help do survey, check some stuff.. watever.. after tat.. they jux go b and do their own stuffs. and im b to square one whr im left alone again. Wats wif this kinda life. i know i aint famous or wat shit watever crap.. i aint much of a popular guy watever Fuck.... its jux too fuckin boring can.. its always me who initiated the conversation.. is there like no one tat actually wans to talk to me?. ok fine watever.. im fine being anti social from nw.. i aint gonna give a fuckin care bout any shit.. cause its life.. wat the hell. If Given a chance nw. Fuckin jux end my life god.. i aint got much reason to live in this world anw.. gettin pissed and dissed here and there from time to time.. though there's been some happy times.. but they pass on real quick and the sick feelin comes b again~ i aint got much frens i know... there's some.. but dun talk.. some does.. but at times really piss me off. i can keep my cool~ and i dun like to show aggression. it jux aint my style.. i rather keep things peacefully and live life off.. No one will know wat it feels like to live off in a distant place.. where u are mostly alone. cause most of the time u will haf frens ard to be wif u, to give u the warmth.. u dun haf to seek it.. they jux comes to u. bt for me.. it aint like this.. i haf to seek my own warmth.. and its really tiring.. life is giving up on me already as im typing this.. i really feel like my soul is dieing.. i trust tat no one will ever understand how i feel. cause it jux dun happen to anyone. especially those tat always have frens to console them when they are dwn or when facing some difficuilt times..for me.. i haf to suffer all this by myself.. i aint got much or any1 to talk to or share wif. yes there is.. bt i cant always jux count on them. it really makes me feel damn useless.. i wanna be as gd.. i tried.. and i become tired. things are jux nt workin out for me.. i aint got the guts.. i aint got anything other than a no gd brain tat stores useless stuff.. haiz.. life has taken its toll on me.. and i've had enough. i jux wan to rest.. i wanna find a place of peace and serenity.. i jux wan to rest peacefully~ without any worries or thoughts. jux me.. maybe me and the one i loved. but i know its jux a beautiful lie.. cause truth hurts and the truth always turns my life upside down. One fren asked.. wat is happiness. where can i find happiness.. my answer... your happiness is in u. wat makes u happy is u. there is no true answer..cause ppl find joy in diff things. everyone is diff. for me.. i aint haf this.. i cant feel happiness. all i feel is a dark lonely corner in the middle of a winter nite. wif no one ard.. i am helpless. all alone.. fallin prey to the never endin feel of loneliness and depression. tried to seek warmth.. bt got kicked out instead. tried to seek happiness bt got rejected. tried to work for my goals. bt got denied. cause of my lack in ability. im jux like a disabled person. i cant do anything without my hands, legs, body and mind workin properly. its jux the end.. the end of life.. the end of time. the end of the line. All i am left wif nw..is my guitar nad my piano.. they're my life.. and my final wish before i die.. is tat i am able to make a beautiful song tat brings life to my world. i dun care bout anything else anymore. Hack to relationships. hack to work~ i jux wan to fulfill my last wish.. i cant save the earth.. cause im nthin but a mere grain of sand. i cant save myself. cause i dread livin in the real world. i cant save the my soul. cause i want to live in a world of fantasy, paradise.. Music is my life. and i wan to play it well. for the rest of my soul lies in them. i have no confidence in relationships any longer. its jux a freakin LIE! True love Is Never gonna come.. cause no one will accept me for who i am. im a idiot, im a failure. This will never be the last. Cause There's still things to be done. but its started long ago.. when my wish is fulfilled. its time for me to leave too. cause my life is done and i got nthin left tat is worth for me to do. i'd go b to mother earth, or perhaps heaven.. maybe hell for the Lies i told and sins i've done. wherever i go.. i'd never wan to live again.

2008-11-30T01:06:00.003+08:00

Alrite here to blog bout the day~ but unfortunately had a sad announcement to make. Though it have nthin to do wif me. but as a fellow fren.. i can say nthin more but to feel sry for u. As u all haf known bout the attacks in mumbai by terrorist. A singaporean hostage was held and killed in the process of the 'invasion'. Sadly to say, this singaporean hostage is one of my classmates aunt (Nicholas Yuen). First of all, i would like to give u my condolence, no one meant for things like this to happen, especially not to my family nor my frens or any of the family members of my frens. im deeply sry to hear that its ur aunt. im Sry for the retaction i made when u told me, i was surprised and stunned. seeing u on a fury, i cant make out the words tat i want to say, thats y i was keeping quiet for a long time. For a brief moment, i felt how u feel, and it made me wanting to cry out. It was a sad tragedy, in this grief period of time, i will try to give u all the help u need. though it may nt be much, but if its anything within my limits i will help u. i jux hope tat it'll nt affect ur studies as it is still important for u to graduate. Secondly, this goes out to all of the classmates in GET, i ask of u nt to mention about this news infront of him as its already had enough impact on him already. i dun wan him goin to fight wif any of u guys cause u guy made a joke about this which is totally unnecessary and unpleasent. also dun mention the word terrorist infront of him as he's all in rage rite nw and is damned pissed wif the terrorist. I only asked this of u because i think it is necessary of u peeps to know as his fren(i dun care u hate him anot) about this. i might be goin to his aunt's funeral to give my respects and pray for her. If any of u wans to join me, pls tell me. cause it'll be much appreciated and as a fren. God Bless You Guys!

OK time for other things tat happened today... morning.. went to meet leong and haikel at toa payoh interchange at 11am to go to far east to cut our hair. as usual... leong was later than me =.= LOL!... yea.. so we went and took a bus to far east and had our hair cut.. when we rched.. i was still blur.. dunno wat kinda hair style to cut haha. then the idiot go make me the first one to haf my hair cut =.=... i was like WTH!!!! lol.. but nvm. the hair stylist gave me a book/magazine and asked me wat kinda hair style i like.. i dunno wat to choose so in the end.. i jux flipped to a page.. see ok quite nice and told him to cut tat hair style~~ LOL!.. well, its quite worth the while i guess.. hair cut and hair wash for $15. and it looks good too. lol~~~... well the hair cut took like 1h though =.= LOL!... and i nearly fall asleep which was like wth~ XD

After the hair cut, went to find ricky and zuyi at tanah merah mrt station(i dunno how spell LOL).. and went to expo to walk ard sitex. wahahaha damn it's huge =.= lol~. we went in...wanting to find a razor mouse for me and zuyi... and ricky was lookin for rams and a hard disk.. sadly, we didnt find our razor mouse.. but instead i got meself COD5!!!! LOL!. well its epic XD haha. then ricky went and bought his rams at the kingston booth. while he was buyin, i and zuzu went ard wanting to find the razor mouse, but instead i got stuck at the creative booth askin y my Xfi cant connect to the net =.= LOL!. in the end the person call me to go b to ps and ask y~~~~ =.= lame loL!

After tat.. they went home and i went to kallang mrt to me Nic, and tats when i heard of the tragic news. well...most of the front part was mentioned on top.. so goin on.. our main objective is to go to the singapore indoor stadium to wat the lee guitar performance !!! XD.. we rched at bout 630.. the show starts at 8.. so we went to leisure mall hope-ing to get smthin to eat.. we walked ard.. saw kbox~ Kfc~ some wierd epic expensive cafe or like.. and KOU FU! .. LOL!.. so we went to kou fu and bought the chinese rice mixed food stuff... we da pao the food cause the food court is epic full wif nowhere to sit.. so we bought our food and headed b to the indoor stadium. it was bout 740.. we sat at the stairs and began eating.. surprisingly~~ i ate the food within 6-8 mins LOL!... i considered it fast.. wahahha. and the clock striked 8.. we went in and sat at out sit.. damnn its far from the stage bout atleast we got full view of everything except they look quite small XD. we waited in the stadium till 830 as the sits are still being filled up~ when the concert finally started~~~ weeee everyone ran wild haha. its nice... the first one tat came out was a guy from wu yue tian~ he played solo guitar.. damn nice omg.. then 2nd came Li Zhong Sheng.. i think alot of ppl know him bah~ i like him alot.. he's like my idol nw LOL!.. he sings well plays guitar damn well and owns a guitar making facility also known as Lee Guitars XD. i wan to play like him sia~~~ haha.. then 3rd came zhou hua jian XD.. epic nice guitar player too~ damn they're sooo goood hahaha.. 4th is zhang zhen yue~~ WEEEEE haha. i never thought i would see him live well~~~ ITS TOO COOL!~!~! lol!.. he also plays the guitar damn well.. well actually all the stars tat went sings and play damn well >.< .... haha. i wanna be LIke Them OMG~~~ i hope tat one day i would be able to talk face to face to these great artist XD. so yea 5th is tanya cai jian ya~ she's got a beautiful and powerful voice.. XD. 6th is cheng yi xuen or smthing.. cant remember.. bt her voice is damn sweet lah~~~ haha. i was mesmorised by her voice LOL!... then lastly came WU YUE TIAN!!!! haha. my god i swear the performace totally rocks the house DUDE.! u'll never experience this kinda feelin unless u are there! haha. i was like 'dancing' LOL!.. atleast i felt the beat goin through my body and making it move XD. i really enjoyed the concert alot.. its really touching to hear the stories behind all the great artist, and they inspired me to learn my guitar even more and write even more better and meaningful songs ^^ i really wan to meet li zhong sheng face to face and ask him to teach and help me make a guitar sia.. omg.. im so xian mu of the artist lah~ being able to sing and play the guitar so well at the same time is totally amazing haha. yea so tats bout my day~ hope ya peeps haf fun! +Peace-Out+

2008-11-24T23:58:00.005+08:00

ok wahahahaa... i gotta admit~~~ playin wif leong is epic fun! LOL!.. =p.. srsly .. omg.. in his team its like HEY WTF! LOL!.damn funny~ joker sia XD... his joke are sooo damn .... .... ... that it made me burst out laughin like mad and i accidentally spit out wat i was 'drinking' onto his bag >.< !!!! It was an accident!!! damn PS!!! wahahaha. But u are SERIOUSLY TOO DAMN FREAKIN RIDICULOUS! LOL!... finally gettin use to playin dota wif them.. our teamwork is gettin better! XD. though sadded is.... stupid leong dun wan join us for tpcg >.< STUPID BAKA LEONG!!!!! PS us sia T_T haha.... sooo yea.. wanted to make some emo post... but somehow .. dunno~ i guess i was too lazy to think and make myself emo wahahaha. so i nv came into the blog and typed in...wahaha. still tryin to come up wif songs and lyrics though.. i keep forgetting the rythm i wan sia >.<"... damn sadded haha. atleast theres still someppl to talk to XD. my 'jie', 'mei', and my best good BUDDIES!!! wahahaha. love ya guys XD.. being wif u guys is the most funny and best timez ever haha.. though when sometimes u guys did mention bout things tat'd make me go emo... but wth.. i dun care le lah~ i guess its fate that never meant for us(Me&Her) to be together ='[ argh... life is cruel eh~ haha.. i never knew y girls always find themselves fat when they aint fat at all =.= i mean like comeon~ u are already like damn thin le~ or atleast jux rite~ u aint fat... and i've been hearing over and over again bout girls sayin themselves fat when they aint =.= wahahha. funny sia~ guess u girls are over reacting bah~ and also... being short too aint really tat bad... yes true i'll never haf a feel of wats it like being short.. but it aint real good for being tall either.. haha. the most important thing i know regardless of how u look like, is ur heart... im sure wif a good and kind heart, u'll be sure to find a man tat really loves u... men tat loves u for ur looks aint gd... bt men tat loves u for who u are is wat i considered true love.. i dun take relationships as a game.. tats y i've never been attached.. though well.. she doesnt really counted... bt... haiz.. i dunno how to explain.. if i were to fall in love again.. i would use my life to ensure that it last till the ends of time~ losing one is part of life... i guess its wat most ppl will go through.. bt losing one aint really as simple as it seems.. especially when its someone u really like and would like to live together wif for the rest of ur life~.. the pain, hurt and scar tat is left behind aint gonna go away jux like tat... yes some ppl say it'd go away... bt... in truth.. it nv really goes away.. it's jux locked in one corner of ur heart.. reminding u of the past at random times.. tats y i reckon always never to play wif relationships... ppl who toy ard wif others feelings... well u better go die off somewhere.. cause u think tats fun...while u cause hurt to the other...i've seen, heard and felt the heart breaks of many others.. including myself... thing jux aint the same anymore.. as the words says..."Once brokern, nomatter how one tries to repair it, it'll nv be the same as it was before, as the scars left will never be undone" ppl haf tried to mend the hurts and scars left by previous breakups.. but to tell the truth.. none haf ever succeeded in fully forgettin bout the past.. there'd always be memories lingering ard one's mind nomatter how one tries to look at it.. i'd wish and hope for a new relationship to begin.. but i reckon it'd be anytime soon.. =[ things jux aint the same as it was like before.. u've changed, i've changed, they've changed.. i'd wanna get close to u.. bt would u even give me a chance to start off wif.. u may never know who im talkin about. but i hope tat u'd know tat i'll always be waitin for u~

2008-11-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

ok ... wanted to post smthin a few days b... but i kinda forgot wat i wanna post =.= wahahhaa. anw... sry for my attitude guys... my mood aint good for the past days so i plead for ur forgiveness if i ever made any of ya angry >.<... haha. ok.. errrr... wanted to post something like ricks post =.= but yea.... i no time LOL!.. so b to today, went to AFA!!! wahahaha. cant believe it =,= the first think i went in i see gundams ... the next 10mins i bought 2 gundams and they cost me $162 =.= LOL! then walked ard... slapped ricky on the head when he finally rched =p hahahaha. saw alot of epic nice stuffs lah!!!! omg.. i wan to buy the other 2 gundams sia >.< see le hands super uber itchy lah wahahhaa.

2008-11-22T23:34:00.004+08:00

2008-11-11T20:43:00.002+08:00

ok b to do some bloggin...first of all, RA3 ROCKS! LOL!... its one of the best games i've played ever~ gotta say.. c&c did a fine job creating this game haha. Thks YA guys alot for creating this game XD haha. it rules! Lol~ RA3 FTW~! ok now to other things.. Great~ now all the work and projects are commin up =.= im gonna die loL~ stress sia... well too bad i guess... tats life T_T lol! and another wierd thing~ HOW Come ppl know Me When i Dun even Remember Who Are They! LOL!. shit sia =.=" its so scary lah~ haha. i am not famous FTW~ so dun be jealous cause some girls know me =P LOL!

2008-10-29T22:12:00.002+08:00

hehe.. well hahaha. b for another short post.. Damn it sia... Y ISIT RA3 OUT YET WHEN IT's ALREADY RELEASED!!!! Y!!!!! LOL!. wa lao... saw the Disc today...The One and Only One! we were so close to it...yet soo far T_T. haha. really damn cool sia omg... cant wait to get my hands on it.. the guy tat bought it had pre-ordered the cd =.= haiz hahaha. WAAA!!!! I WANT IT!!!!!! LOL!. anw... kinda sadded hahaha. Im gettin addicted to cassis by Gazette~ LOL~ all thks to ricky, zuyi and Fatty Gay! LOL!... =p .. bloody hell stop spamming my blog u fatty blob LOL!.

2008-10-28T21:38:00.003+08:00

Sry Dudes!~ dude to the 'Ugly' post bout the gov... i've gotta make my blog private hahahhaa.
Anw, YES! RA3 is out!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOO! time To REjoice People! LOL!. I've been waiting for this day for a long time wahahahhaa.! finally! get ready for battle People! Its WAR! WAHHAHAHA!

2008-10-26T18:31:00.002+08:00

Hehehehe im bored.. so i decided to go paint and do smthin =.=... LOL!.. damn bo liao lah~ and also dunno wat to draw so jux randomly came up wif this noob paint again~ lol

2008-10-17T19:18:00.003+08:00

Haha... b for a small update... a series of good things......well maybe jux one LOL!!... i got into the Jap Class CDS!!!! WEEEEEEE!!!!! omg im soooo excited haha. its like one of the best things that can happen on earth hahaha. and also....got $520 from red packets! hahaha. still broke though =p not enough to spare for a month hahaha. and also... yesterday went to watch 20th century boys.. haha its damn nice but damn confusing...haha.. but i love it! although they cut away alot of 'nice nice' scenes LOL!. atleast still had alot of fun goin out wahahaha. played bball and badminton in school till whole body pain ==..... haha. then today wake up... hardly can get off the bed lol!. really damn jia lat hahah. then stayed at home but feel damn restless.. haha.. though body pain... but still decided to go down to play bball hahaha. kao eh... i though im gonna die lah~ hahaha. the person body damn big.. hit me in the chest using his body.. i thought i was gonna die LOL!. then for the rest of the game i had difficulty breathing.. play till damn jialat hahaha. but still able to score some points lol!. But damn fun lah.. it made me feel alot better cause i used up all of my energy. haha. nw my hands and legs are aching like hell.. LOL!. i think im goin to dive into the deep dark world beneath liaoz XD hahhaha. even now still cant breath properly...bloody hell tat impact is like gettin into a car crash LOL!

2008-10-15T22:44:00.002+08:00

hehe. thks guys for celebrating my b'day wif me! ArigatoGosaiimas!!!! hahaha. Its really great! had alot of fun wif ya peeps =p haha. so sad we nv took pics sia XD haha. SM! we wear till so nice nv take pic wasted sia.. hahaha. nvm next time we take together XD. wahahhaha. The bowling today was fun! XD. though i lost badly LOL! no Power today wahhahahaha. must play again someday ^^! sadly we cant play pool T_T LOL! well maybe next time we go find some cheap and nice pool area to play wahahhaa. im gonna TRASH u LEONG! LOl! oh yea.. nt forgeting. thks KH for calling me and wishin me happy b'day wahahha. i was wondering if u forgot my bday =.= haha. thks bro really appreciated it. we shall go out some other time alrites.. u today also busy hahahha. =p. and lastly.. thks mel, ur b'day wish for me really brighten my day ^^. i didn't expect u to msg me haha. though i was hoping for it.. but.. didn't really expected u to sms me~! really thks u alot~ Tat meant alot to me. really thk u alot! perhaps its just god's will.. tat we can nv be together. haha. well~ i'll still love u jux like before ^^ it doesnt matter wat u say.. i will never stop loving u~ wahahhaa. say im dumb say im an idiot say im mad. but its wat i chose. my only hope and wish for u is for u to find ur happiness. haha. anw thks. u gave me the best present in the world. and i appreciated it alot ^^~ my final statement, GOODLUCK KRIS!!! LOL!... Ur Olvls will be over in a few weeks XD. kill all the papers like they're ur most hated enemies in the world hahaha.! ~Loves All~

2008-10-13T23:30:00.002+08:00

hi ya'll, jux finished watching koizora.. was damn touched by the movie. T_T. even cried while watching it. Watching it made me realized wat true love really means. The courage, the gentleness, the greatness of hiro.. i found myself being naive. watchin him throughout the show. his love for the girl can never be compared by anything. The part of my love life.. is nthin.. cause i nv understood true love.. though i thought of myself to know alot bout life.. but.. now i know.. i only know the little bit of it.. mistakes i've made through the days.. all came b to me in an instant.. wats true love about, is letting the one you love find their happiness. for if their happiness lies in u.. make her the happiest girl on earth, cause u are the only one that can give her wat she wans. thus, the hurt u give will be more than anything one will feel. cause they've entrusted their happiness to u, yet u've betrayed them and made her sad. wat a horrible one it would be for him to break a girl's heart that truely loves him. For if he chose to break her heart so as to not to let her see him suffer cause he knows it'll make her cry, tats when true love comes in. its nt the guy's fault for doin tat.. but cause he doesn't wan to see the one he love cry and become sad over him. his love for her is always there, jux tat he knows he cant give her any happiness. tats y he chose to make her leave him.. but it hurts him in his heart. To see the girl he truely loves leaving him. But all he wans is for her to find her happiness. so he would rather suffer himself than to take away her happiness. this is wat it takes to be a real man and this is true love.. for one could sacrifice anything jux to let the one he loves be happy because this is true love. i Hope i have not made the wrong decision.. but i'd wish for u to be happy. wat lies in me is not jux the memories of us.. but it haf already become a part of me. i would do anything to make u happy. i swear. Leaving u is hard for me.. but i know if ur happiness does not lie wif me. then i'll let u go to look for ur true happiness. I do not wish for u to be sad. for it hurts me too to see u cry. All i ever wanted is to see u smile. Smile for me.. Smile for the one u truely love and live a Happy life. I wish for ur happiness. For finding ur happiness will make me happy. ^^... +CHEERS TO ALL THE LOVERS OUT THERE! Cherish The One U Truely Love Before U Lose It and Regret!+ =-_SaYoNaRa_-= ~GoodBye To Love~

2008-10-13T21:05:00.002+08:00

Wahahhaha! now im in Hongkong!!! WEEEE~~~ actually today is the last day here == been here for 6 days le hahaha. bought tonnes of stuffs XD.. 2 Gundams FTW! LOL!. MG Series muahahhaha. i'll upload the photos when im in sg hahaha. alot of photos == ... cant believe the senery soo nice LOL!. To All Guys: The Girls Here Are Chio! LOL!. of course above average looks... sadly .. haha.. =p. well ima stop here for today. wahahhaa

2008-10-04T12:23:00.002+08:00

wahahaha. my piano is here!!!! time to start my practice XD.. im gonna become a great musician muahahahhaa. =p. its really cool, i love the feel of the piano.. my 1st piece of music... 'Musician' from d-grayman~ wahahaha its such a nice song... after i get the hold of the piano... i shall start to make my own music. ^^. have been watchin the LOTR trilogy for the past 3 days.. watchin it again, i found many meanings in the show that impacts in real life.. its such a nice movie.. haha. hmmm. this song makes me feel so sad.... cause its true == LOL!... well i'll paste the lyrics here...

Why (are We Still Friends)

We do almost everything that lovers do
And that’s why it’s hard, just to be friends with you
Every time your heart is broken by the fool
I want you to know that it hurts me too
It’s hard to wipe your tears away (tears away)
Knowing that you should be with me
Now tell me why

[CHORUS:]

Why – why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than we are
And tell me why every time I find
Someone that I like
We always end up just being friends (Just Being Friends)

I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love, cause it would mean losing you
But am I a fool girl not to say
If I’m always scared I’ll lose you anyway
Somehow somewhere I’ve got to choose (got to choose)
No matter if it’s win or lose
Now tell me why

[CHORUS]

I don’t wanna be like your brother
I don’t wanna be your best friend
I only wanna be your lover
When will this end
If I told you that I wanna be in your life
Then you could be the woman in mine

[CHORUS] X2

2008-10-03T11:58:00.003+08:00

Well,.... i've goin for almost everyday lately ==. wait... it is everyday... LOL!. nowonder im out of cash wahahahahhaa. the only day which i didnt spent more than $10 bucks.... tuesday!! wahahhaa, cause daryl, gideon and jon came over to my house to practice guitar.. supposed to practice acoustic.. but jon brought the most awsome thing in the world over!!! AN Electric guitar + amplifier LOL!!!. had loads of fun tryin out the electric... my god i swear the sound is gooooodddd... hahaha. jon was superb. he can play soo many songs!!! hahha. im sooo pei fu of him hahah. i wish someday i can be like him too haha. but i think its impossible lol~. he like a natural prodigy~ too pro liaoz. seriously.. the electric is sooo nice.. we're like rockin the whole flat for 6-7h LOL!. ROCK AND ROLL!!!!. XD. for the rest of the days.. well, went out wif ricky, lzh and some other frens wahhaha. yesterday went to buy a present for sakura.. ==.. didn't know choosin a present can take 7h -- lol~. but its damn fun though wahahaha. matashiki and i went to play the plushie catchin machine in marina square wahahaha. damn hard to catch lah~ but atleast i got 1 =p. he got none =X hahahaha. monday jux went out to slack off.. still wasted money hahaha.. haiz.. everyday like damn sian lah~ nthin to do de... haha. im still emo-ing everyday... loL~ haiz.... wat can i do though.. nthin is even possible XD. so jux cont to emo till the world ends.. tmr my piano's gonna come wahahaha. sooo excited.. i hope wif this i can finally start to make my songs a reality. nthin matters to me other than music now... and of course.. some other things.. but i shall not mention them. wahahaha. GoodLuck Kristin!!! wahahhaa. For Ur Olvls! =p.

-~=
Love is Cruel,
Love is Hurtful.
Yet, Love is beautiful,
Love is magnificient.
What is love in the first place when its just a game.
For all that have been hurt are deemed to hate it.
For all that have found their happiness in it,
they are glad they found it.
What is love for you and me when it comes out empty.
I can feel nothing for my heart is numbed,
I can only love and like u in secret,
For we can never be together.
This kind of love is sweet yet miserable.
But for the one i love,
Everything is worth it.
You are the song of my heart,
The angel of my heart.
I thank you for all.
=~-

2008-09-26T14:32:00.005+08:00

haha, its been sometime since i've updated...well, i've been busy wif work till recently when theres nthin for me to do....so i jux come here and write a new post... Hmmm, for the past weeks, i went to work as a packaging guy, haha was quite fun, though have to stand for bout 7h for each day... for 2 days. Lol. then after the 2 days work, went to help out in the GCA (Games Convention Asia) as a booth helper. haha. my job was suppose to be introducing ppl to the new card game that is gonna to be released soon in sg. Its called Tale. A very fun card game actually. Alot of thinkin and tactics are needed to be used in the game play, one wrong move can prove to be costly jux like in a game of chess. where u place ur pieces strategically to provide a strong offense and defense. Once u gain the upper hand, u stand to have more chances to win, but being over confident can also get urself into deep trouble as in these games, the tables can be turned around if u are not careful and falls into the opponents trap. So this game is a very new experience for us. as it combines normal card games, wif chess and also the need to make careful choices before ppl actually play their cards. In the GCA, i played alot of games, free in fact, and games yet to be released, like Red Alert 3. damn its good, way too cool infact hahahaha. cant wait to get it. then we played rock band. where i played the guitar. haha. was quite abit screwed up since its my 1st time playin the guitar. XD. i wanted to play the drum, but my fren took it so i jux played the gutiar.. we also played soul calibur 4. damn fun hahaha. best thing of all, we get to meet the booth babes head on hahaha. damn funny lah~.. afew of us was incharge of takin care to them. each of us were assigned to take care of one of the booth babes. Our job is to take them ard to take pictures wif other ppl as votes for them. of course.. its quite fun runnin ard here and there squeezin through the crowds... and also there are those 'pervertic guys' who was takin pictures of the girls the whole day LOL~. So after workin 3 days in the GCA, i've learnt alot of stuffs and gain new knowledge. i've seen how my 'boss' do buisness wif jap ppl in a special corner. hahahaha. so happy lol~ also made quite afew frens there. sadly didn't get the msn of the booth babes awwww LOL!.. well, its life dude.. hahahaha. wats not mine is not mine =p. sunday, which was after the GCA. i dunno where i go ... LOL!. cant remem hahahaha. should be stayed at home and did nthin wahahhaha. then monday, went to help ricky to work as a packager again LOL~. but good money lah hahahaha. tuesday stayed at home... wed went to kbox wif ricky, shi ming, lzh and lzh mei... wahahhaha. damn fun... cant believe my singin is soooo funny lol~. then yesterday, went to suntec wif lzh and mei and i bought my cat LOL~ sooo cute XD.

2008-09-09T18:55:00.006+08:00

haha. ok time to come b and stop the 'decayin' of my blog LOL~. well... Talkin bout last week... hmm . well...GOD HAF ANSWERED MY PRAYERS! AmEN!!! LOL!. really work of god isnt it haha. its cool!. XD then during fri, at 4pm went to meet up wif lzh, jeremy, zhen yang and nicholas! we goin for chalet at downtown east hahahha. free Chalet FTW~ i Stayed over nite from fri to sunday nite. damn tiring....cause at nite cant sleep due to all the jokes, wan sleep, but in the end, was laughin like mad all the way LOL!. Really joker lah the guys. but i like them. Brothers till the end XD. during fri, CM came, along after an hour Ricky and zuyi came. wahhaha, its so fun. But supposingly its suppose to be a class chalet. suppose to be like atleast 15ppl there. then all dunno y nv go.. cheat our feeling lol!. well, atleast the 7 of us had lots of fun there. we played Big 2, Black Jack, Bluff(a never ending game) LOL~. and also! Mah jiong! LOL!. damn funny. cant stop laughin while playin wif ricky, jeremy and zhen yang LOL!. all jokers XD. Love them sooooo much =p hahaha. During sat evening, we're suppose to haf bbq, BUT!, suddenly it rained == .. damn sad. LOL!. but we bbq in the rain LOL!. damn funny hahahha. we even took pictures haha. then sunday came....wanted to haf bbq in the morn ==.... but everyone slept like logs...so.. we missed the morning bbq lol!. but nevermind, cause we had bbq at 4.30pm! XD. its soooo nice! we took alot of pictures and had alot of fun haha. also we bought alot of food....but managed to finish all of them XD. weee cool...hahaha.. after the bbq at bout 10+pm... we went b to the room.... slacked on the bed and watch the zhong yi da ge da. haha. sooo funny. when the show ended, i ricky and zu yi went home.. nicholas went home a long time ago after we had lunch == hahah. so came monday..~~~~~ i slept from 2am to 4pm LOL!. damn nice to sleep, jux love my precious bed XD hahaha. monday didn't do much... and then today, went to help ricky wif the packing job....haha a 1 day job LOL!. cause ricky there is in need of a person to help him in the packin....so he called and i went to work... quite fun though.... we packed the starhub 'dogs' LOL! i took some pictures. jux see it below....well ima stop here haha.

2008-08-27T22:08:00.004+08:00

MUAHAHAHHAA...OK ToDay is a Crazy day LOL!!!! madness and Laughter. XD hahaha. today is the best day!!! LOL!. early morn 10:30am left my house to take Bus 27 to TM to meet up wif ricky and zuyi. i am suppose to meet ricky at 11:15am... i rch at 11:08am. i sms him.. no reply so nvm...waited and waited.. then smsed zu Zu.. he say he eatin alone in Century Square (Emo!!!!) LOL!. well actually he wanted to repair his phone but sadly the shop was closed due to some stupid reason lol. haha. so i went to find him... on the way to find him... i look at my watch, it was 11:20am.. so i called ricky.. It rang for quite long...and finally he picked it up.. guess wat... he jux woke up == hahaha. I was like ==" wth RICKY!!! LOL!. nvm.. then i met up wif Zu Zu and had our breakfast. After eatin, we went walkin around while waitin for ricky to meet up wif us. Ok.. so when the time finally came, we met up wif him.. it was rainin heheh. he was abit wet here and there haha watever.. well. WE're suppose to meet up with another 2 person.. Joanne and SM. but Joanne Sick so nv come.. SM didn't know he was suppose to meet up wif us and go together.. lol. so the 3 of us went to white Sands to wait for LZH, ZY And Balls. haha. We went to walk ard.. lookin at things. then balls called so we went to meet up wif them. After we met up, we still have to wait for SM since he still haven even rch yet == he live near tm...but took so long to rch pasir ris == LOL! So we waited for sometime.. and he FInally rched XD. and so we set off to ehub to the kbox there haha. We started our singin from 1Pm+ to 7pm LOL!. damn fun can't believe it.. ZY sing so funny lol!. though my singin aint good either, keep on pao ying haha. we had a good laugh and enjoyed alot there haha. I sang alot.. nearly ran out of voice cause throat damn dry haha. we like 'rock' the whole room lol!. so noisy lah haha. then ricky..... lamer go there eat and play psp.. only sang 2-3 songs lOL!. the ice-lemon tea.....so crappy,... is english tea wif lemon in side.. lol!. well. atleast kbox is fun quite cheap...$18 for 6h of singin for each person lol!. after kbox... 7pm! ricky, Sm and zuzu went home.. i, LZH, Balls and ZY went to eat dinner... during dinner...... they talk bout all the stupid things...make me wanna laugh so hard.. i can hardly eat my meal == LOL!. But i still managed to finish with success lol!. Then LZH's good idea.. we go drink kopi == hahaha. of course we did...and talked alot of crap again...make me nearly spit out my tea hahaha. i really cannot take it wanna burst out laughin like mad lol!. ok lah...tats basically my day.. ^^ love it lots. haha. LOVE U GUYS MAN!!! U guys are Great LOL!. Ok its end of exams yesterday... finally nthin to do liao LOL!.

2008-08-22T20:19:00.002+08:00

Another Day pass jux like tat.... well today is quite a sleepy day for me. went to school for cmaths test...then waited from 11.30am till 3 pm for the incg class to start... i suppose i can do smthin at tat time, well, was talkin to my frens, had a good laugh here and there. Then we went for the lesson. Learnt quite a few things in class though i was so damn bloody sleepy...was yawnin all the way haha. tried sms-ing my frens.. well got a few replies...but were gone after awhile...maybe they find me too borin or wat...well watever.. wat can a man like me do or talk anw... my mind's always nearly empty and blank... quite hopeless eh haha. sometimes i really wonder how can a guy really communicate well wif a girl.. its like when i compare myself to those guys who are so popular amoung the girls even though they dun really look so good (i dun look good myself), i feel like wth!. I'm such a loser dude.. argh... haha. maybe its my nature of being closed... not really opened only to afew friends tat i truely trust in above others. they're my buddies of course. haha. my Brothers ^^. I tried askin ppl out to haf fun, well, ppl are quite busy nowadays so yea. didn't manage to haha =[. tats life i suppose. cruel as it is .. always feel left out and alone in the wild.. Loneliness is gettin to me... haha. ~~ maybe cause i've started to get use to being around ppl again.. if i had the chance to live in a solitude life again. hmm. maybe i would like to haha. Being able to feel lonely is so miserable. though its only natural for a person. but i really hate the thought of making friends but aint able to talk to them. then wats the point of me even makin friends wif them. I have a hard time to communicate wif almost any1. mostly cause there are things that i rather not speak infront of tat person...it may be rude things, irritating things, stupid things, anything that'll make a person feel tat im a stupid guy.. but yea.. kinda true, im dumb alrite haha. I've always been dreaming of things tat'll nv come true.. depression? haha. shit maybe im gettin it XD. well who knows rite.. jux tat i wont do something tat kills me.. though living doesn't matter to me anymore whether im alive or not. haha. Ppl always says... "I know How You Feel"... but, Do u? it jux isnt the same as before.. even though sometimes i also use the words. I do really think through it 1st whether i really know how he/she really feels, other wise, i would say, "even though i dun know how you really feel, but u need some1 to cry on, shout to, unleash you anger on, etc . U can always find me". The only reason.. i dun mind being beaten up, scolded, shouted at, watever, u can do anything that you like that can make u happy, take my life? well, i dun mind... as i've said.. life's a joke. nthin more to it. I only wan to see ppl happy, as long as you are happy, im satisfied. only if i find tat its unfair to me, then i'll turn on ya... I really got one whole lot of things to write sia...haha. maybe this is how i can destress and do my shout outs. i dun haf any1 to complain to, shout at, watever, jux this will do haha. its better than nthin.. atleast i get to speak my heart out. i jux hope tat things can turn better. If things stay this way... i think i might go crazy one day haha. unless my pride as a lone wolf grows strong in me again. or i wont be able to take as much hits as i did before. I really wanna learn how to talk and chat wif ppl well, cause i dun wanna lose friends after i jux made them.. it feels miserable. well, dun think most of any1 will read this haha. treat it as my area for dumping my feelings lol~ ciaoz~!

2008-08-21T13:38:00.002+08:00

Yo ppl! im ok dudes haha.~ thks for the concern, especially u bro(kok) ^^! well.. exams commin~ fri and tues....haiz... studyin is sooooo 'fun' XD. cant study much.. goin holiday mood ~_~". . . . haha. ok lah~~~ though i can hardly sleep these days.. still tried =p haha. sleeping is such a difficult task for me... im so afraid to close my eyes... because everytime i close my eyes, memories jux flow in like water... it makes me sooo hard to sleep. unknowningly, tears will jux come out, i dunno y~~ i cant control my eyes.... and sometimes, i feel so hard to breath, like theres no air around me..and my heart sometimes hurts. like a spear or arrow jux pierced through it,... hmm.. maybe im gonna die.. haha. well watever. it doesn't matter.. life's a joke, nthin good ever happens in life.. so y even bother haha. theres not a day i can really relax~ so sianz... how i wish can become a part of nature. no more worries and pain. tat'll be so good... ah well. it can never happen till the day tat i die. when my body returns bak to earth, the real earth. Atleast now i still have the songs to be wif me through the lone timez~ friends... well.. not much. no one can be there for ya~ haha. Its the selfish nature of humans tat makes ppl fail and destroy each other...the fear tat lies in everyones heart, the greedy thoughts never fails to appear even in the most pure of souls. One says tat he's afraid of nthin, tats lying. every1 will have a fear in his or her heart nomatter wat. arh....haha ok ima stop here. its sad tat the earth wont end ^^~

2008-08-21T13:34:00.002+08:00

Utada Hikaru - First Love lyrics (One of my Fav Songs)

Saigo no kisu wa tabako no flavor ga shita

Nigakute setsunai kaori



Ashita no imagoro ni wa

Anata wa doko ni irundarou

Dare wo omotterundarou



You are always gonna be my love

Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo

I'll remember to love you taught me how

You are always gonna be the one

Ima wa mada kanashii love song

Atarashi uta utaeru made



Tachidomaru jikan ga

Ugoki dasouto shiteru

Wasureta kunai kotobakari



Ashita no imagoro niwa

Watashi wa kitto naiteru

Anatawo omotterundarou



You will always be inside my heart

Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara

I hope that I have a place in your heart too

Now and forever you are still the one

Ima wa mada kanashii love song

Atarashii uta utaeru made



You are always gonna be my love

Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo

I'll remember to love you taught me how

You are always gonna be the one

Mada kanashii love song

Now and forever


English Translation:


Once in a while

You are in my mind

I think about the days that we had

And i dream that these would all come back to me

If only you knew every moment in time

Nothing goes on in my heart

Just like your memories

How I want here to be with you

Once more



You will always gonna be the one

And you should know

How I wish I could have never let you go

Come into my life again

Oh, don't say no

You will always gonna be the one in my life

So true, I believe i can never find

Somebody like you

my first love



Once in  awhile

Your are in my dreams

I can feel the your warm embrace

And I pray that it will all come back to me

If only you knew every moment in time

Nothing goes on in my heart

Just like your memories

And how I want here to be with you

Once more

yah yah yah



You will always be inside my heart

And you should know

How I wish I could have never let you go

Come into my life again

Please don't say no

Now and forever you are still the one

In my heart

So true, I believe I could never find

Somebody like you

My first love

oh oh



You will always gonna be the one

And you should know

How I wish I could have never let you go

Come into my life again

Oh, don't say no

You will always gonna be the one

So true, I believe I could never find

Now and forever

2008-08-17T15:07:00.002+08:00

Hi ppl im back for awhile. i haven had the feelin to post since who knows when haha. well things haven been really goin well for me. EVen though ya there are times where me and frens being happy laughin at each other but, its kinda hard to feel tat she doesn't talk to me anymore. its like.. damn. Dun ask who is she. cause none of u knows her except for kok and of course she herself. I still remem that night when she sent me the last msg. i spent nearly the whole nite cryin and thinkin bout her. though we've nv met, but we've spent more than a year talkin to each other cheering each other up despite the bad times. i really miss her ya..... As a guy, we always keep on a hard front, while inside us is softer than anything. the hurt engraved is more than anything that one can hold. I still think of her everyday. and everytime i think of heart, my heart aches. i feel like a bump alot of times. jux because of this. Man im really gettin useless. sometimes, my heart jux hurts for no reason, i feel lifeless. i feel like i've lost something very impt to me, and i cant get it back anymore. I've always been tryin to get my mind off it. But its harder to do than jux sayin out. i tried and sometimes successful, only for a couple of hours. then it comes back again. Now i know how heart breaking it is for ppl to lose some1 they really like. though i used to only tell ppl and console them, i nv can nv really feel their hurt. now i know how it feels and its not as simple as it seems. theres alot of things, behind a smile of a guy. He can be already hurt in many ways that he can sit up the whole nite cryin everyday and look perfectly normal on the next day. I feel so weak as my heart is aching, it feels like its breakin apart and I HATE IT! pretty much. i really hope i can return to the good old days. and take back all the things that i've said and done to cause everyone all this pain. Feelings like this is really unexpected. i really don't know wat to say anymore. I feel pathethic. shit man. ANd Guys, pls stop talkin thinks bout me and her alrite. It really is unfair to me and her. in the state i am in now. i really dont wanna think about anything else. thks guys.

2008-07-16T17:26:00.002+08:00

wa hahaha...actually had posted yesterday le!!!! but stupid blogspot cropped up...and left me damn pek chek so nv post haha. today i'll jux do a small post to prevent my blog from dieing LOL!. Had loads of fun in school today...and tat bloody bunny nv go school! stupid pon-er lol. haha. well. I played basketball wif my classmates, then went to haf meal together in the canteen XD. i was wearin a basketball jersey and the place was air conditioned == so i felt damn cold LOL!. Im glad tat i didnt fall asleep today in prsp haha. cmaths also... wds is the best.. had the most fun in the lecture LOL!. things are peaceful today, we had alot of laughter. ^^ and i love my class haha. GET C203 IS THE BEST!!! LOL! and bloody hell ren qi DUN POKE ME!!! HAHa

2008-06-30T20:16:00.003+08:00

haha! hi peeps =X. Im back for another posts.. lol. Today went to school for 3h nia jiu go home le LOL!. well actually should be 4h...but i kinda missed the lecture by 1min =.= LOL!!!. when i rch the lecture room.... the lecture is OVER!!! NOO!!!! LOL!!!.. well.. yea.. haha. so we, my group.. handled up our project. and learnt 3D modeling haha. kinda wierd lol! if u can see my 3D model how it moves...i confirm + chop u WILL laugh LOL!. So after school...... we, 8ppl. Were deciding on where to go for our GREAT lunch haha. Some1 suggested...KFC, Mac.. well we kind agot sick of eatin it =X haha. then i said seoul garden =X. LOL! i thought i jux say for fun haha. then every1 steady XD haha. so we went to tm and eat SEOUL GARDEN!! haha. i, ricky and wl Like eat the most lol!. i ate 2 plates of chicken...piled up like mountain de LOL!. i got burnt by 'flying' Oil LOL!. Nick also tio. i think every1 tio haha, the Lzh hand like made of metal =.= cant feel the pain of the buring oil LOL!. i got head shot by a bit of flyin oil when i was takin up the meat haha. damn funny LOL!. and yea .. was bombed by 2 guys....and i did bomb back alittle haha. its fun. kinda cool to be wif them, though alittle argh...haha. but still its fun.. alot of laughter.. haha. then after the 2 plates...i, ricky and nick went to take ice-creams =D... we said 6 or 7 scoops each person or cannot go bak LOL!. so yea we took 6 scoops each XD. sooo nice, sooo cheap LOL!. I think the $15 was worth it... i think i ate bout $20 - $25 haha. Ricky and leong was like playin naruto the whole time XD. so funny lo...at 1st WL tio trash. then he go 'copyright' ricky move... then he trash ricky LOL!!! XD. well yea so after eatin we all went home. all of us like cannot move like tat...super full haha. After i rch home.. waited for bout an hour...i went to play BB lOL!. so long since i've touched the ball haha. im surprised im still so noob lOL!. well heres the end of my posts XD and some pics i took when we're in seoul garden haha.

2008-06-26T20:04:00.002+08:00

Wahahahaha..!!!!! today soooo happy!! LoL!! not because i got anything! but cause i got to watch WANTED! XD! its such a nice show. omg. i got soooo inspired by the show haha. now i love sniper rifles even more LOL!!! Anw today nv go school. haha, like the whole G.E.T. nv go =.=" Hahaha! We're thinkin like.. GO school for wat sia...1h prsp lecture =.= waste time Lol!. so we all nv go. XD. I set off at 9.30am to ricky house. suppose to meet at 10am.. i was so sacred i was late haha. But when i rch there. i called ricky...they were at mac =.= LOL!!! lucky i called lah. or not i would jux rch his house and camp outside his house -,- haha. so i made my way to the mac. saw them jux bought their meal haven eat yet. so i happily went to buy my meal, hotcakes wif sausage haha.! i ate in a way that non haf seen before!! LOL!!! so yea they kinda stunned haha. then after tat cause nick forgot to bring the double sided tape =.= we decided to go and find a stationary shop around the area. i and ricky went to tm to find and balls and nick went around outside. at first, i and ricky thought there was no popular inside...then we walked round and round and finally WALLA!!! Lol. i saw YAMAHA XD!!! then beside it was the HOLY POPULAR XD!! haha. but it was only 10.40am and popular opens at 11am. so we went to time zone and checked out the games =p haha. we called balls and told them we found popular and they made their way there. jux then, ricky found the marvel vs capcom CLAssic game! LOL!!!. then he decided to play and yea he went to play and i watched. haha. after the 4th lvl...ricky was defeated =P LOl. but he decided to cont so yea. then nick called me and told me they at popular le. but since ricky still playin so we sticked there for awhile more haha. then a man bout 40+ came and challenged ricky 0.0. haha. surprisingly, ricky waas trashed =.= LOL!!! the man was sooo pro lah.. he used the characters like none that i've ever seen before lol!. yea so after tat we went to popular and find balls and nick. they bought the double sided tape. a few pieces of cardboard type paper for our project and i and nick bought the sketch books tats needed for vislit haha. So yea. we went to ricky's house =D. started our project and i was cuttin papers all the way =.=" LOL!!. nick drew the lines for me to cut, ricky did the boxin of questions for the cards and balls, made the board and set the rules. we've done pretty much of the project. but still got things left undone. so gotta meet up again. when we're done, it's bout 3.30pm. and ricky was complaining bout being hungry =.= haha. so yea we packed up and headed for tm. when we rched... we dunno wat to eat LOL!!! then they ask me to choose. i was in a dilemma haha. then i decided since balls like kfc. we go KFC LOL!!!. XD. i and ricky shared a buddy meal.. then we remem the last time it was called a couple meal =.= LOL!!! and so thats where the jokes started. we're laughin like mad in Kfc LOL!!. After the meal, balls went home and i wif nick. went to watch a movie. ricky followed us half way and went home. should be go home sleep =p LOL!!. anw i and nick watched 'WANTED' OMG ITS SUCH A NICE SHOW!! LOL!!. i rate it 5 stars lah!, its like the best show of all time. i love how the bullet moves LOL!!! GPS Bullet =.= gayness haha. it haf a nice story line. i love it and wats the best. it motivates me to become even greater LOL!! the last thing the character said was the best... ' WAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOIN? ' LOL!!!! i was like wow man. its sooo true LOL!!!. and yea came home after tat. ok this is where my day ends haha.

2008-06-22T21:51:00.002+08:00

haha, guess i'll blog again today. hmm this maybe the last for some weeks LOL!!!. well. went out in the afternoon today wif my parents to pennisula shoppin center. haha. went there and found the guitar shop i was lookin for XD. i bought an acoustic guitar and was so HAPPY!!! XD YATTA!!! LOL!! then we went to a shoe shop. i saw this shoe damn nice. but sadly no my size T_T. then we went to funan. my dad wanted to check out some computer stuffs so yea we went there and shopped around. we went to this cd shop. and bought a few dvds haha. =p cheap sales lol!!! then we went for our dinner at a...lets see.. i dunno how saw but. hand cut curry rice LOL!! sry i dunno how say the shop name XD. after meal. went home. and yea basically bak to same schedule. Msn and Games LoL!! but this time i went to watch a movie XD. of course is the dvd i jux bought lah =p LOL! The show is so.... FUNNY!! I cant stop laughin LoL!. though lame but it sure can bring out the laughter in anyone haha. hmm tats bout it..oh And Sry M!!! cant Be there to talk to ya!! =/ , really ps!